ok so I'm a lesbian. I bought my own home to get away from my family. I'm sick of taking care of them don't have any parents. so then they move in with me don't have the heart to kick them out . haven't had any kind of relationship for 16yrs I'm really lonely. all I ever do is work alot. I am so tired of pushing my self to help the family. can't tell them I'm a lesbian because I promised my mom on her death bed I would'nt let any one know I think I'm going to go crazy
2007-05-28 01:16:20 · 12 answers · asked by ghosmiaa5 m 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
i know it seems heartless to kick our family out, but you need to set healthy boundaries with them. help them find a place, outside of your home, maybe in a five mile radius of where you currently live.
learn to say no. i know you want to be helpful, but you can't help others if you can't help yourself. right now, you need to help yourself since it sounds like you are distressed.
as for not telling people your a lesbian, i can understand. my parents threatened to kill me when they found out when i was in high school. i've been slowly coming out to different people, mostly close friends. start there, but at some point you will have to let people know to be in a relationship.
2007-05-28 01:33:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow! I'm a bit spiritual & i think that now your mum has passed she'd be seeing the larger things in life which are for you to be free, not stressed & happy. Sounds harsh maybe but put yourself first for a change. Tell your family they have a certain amount of time to move out as you need the space/break. Live your life for you. Maybe get some counselling, stress relief books and a group of good gay mates to go sink a beer with :)
my email is avail on my profile. Always happy to chat if your stressed or have a Question. My mum is a counsellor & i see an excellent psychiatrist lol, great ey. But i'm like a walking thesaurus on this stuff. Smile chickie :) Good things come when they're least expected.
2007-05-28 08:29:21 · answer #2 · answered by pale_rider 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get the family to do more chores around the house. Keep adding more work and point out that they have to do their share. You can also slide it to them the food and overhead expenses are increasing and they need to add some funds to the pot. Sooner or later they will get the point. If not at least you are getting reimbursed for their stay.
16 years is a long dry spell for a relationship. Check around and you will be surprised how many people are in your position. Get to know more friends and maybe the correct person for you will appear.
Your lesbian lifestyle, for what it is worth after a 16 year dry spell, is of no concern of anyone but your partner.
2007-05-28 08:34:57 · answer #3 · answered by Natural Medicine Man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother has no control over your life, and a deathbed promise is not something you can be held to. Stop using that as an excuse. It sounds like you set yourself up for failure. Give your family a time line for getting out, you aren't helping them by allowing them to be dependent on you. Stop whining about being lonely and get involved in something where you will have contact with other lesbians. Softball, square dancing, book club or your local pride fest. If you are a christian then get involved with the MCC or Metro Community Church which ministers to the GLBT community.
2007-05-28 08:25:12 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Life is too short not to have happiness. Go to a therapist and get some inner peace. You defiantly need to find your way out of this sentence of loneliness and talking with a professional could be a great start. Your family living with you should be your first issue to deal with, why is it that you must carry them and why does your sexuality have anything to do with it? I would sell the house and buy a condo. Don't let another 16 yrs go by, your soul is calling for a change! Good luck
2007-05-28 08:32:50 · answer #5 · answered by faith506 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why does everyone use the word suck in terms of something bad. I think of it as something awesome.
If I were you, and I have been there believe me, I would kick their *** out and I would go out and keep trying until I found people to have fun with in the bedroom. Thats what you need. You need a hot woman to get naked with and you know it. So dammit do what I am telling you, stop wasting your life for someone else's convience. Sorry about your mother, but it is ok to change your mind, go out and be what you are, hell with what anyone thinks. Be your own woman, do your own thinking, and go out and find you a lady you like. Good Luck!!
2007-05-28 08:39:33 · answer #6 · answered by vacationman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, my sister. My mother died when I was 13. I am now a mother and all I want to do is protect my children from harm. I believe that your mother wanted that for you. You have to say this out loud, when your alone, "Mom, I have to live my life. I love you and I know that you are with me. Thank you for wanted to protect me,Mom. I will now live my life. Give Uncle Jay Jay and nem (ie: anyone else) 2 months notice and do your thing,Girl. Another reason that they are there is because they know that you will not say "no". Say it to a stuffed animal and then when one of them ask you for something,like money for cigarettes, say "No!" It will feel GOOD!
2007-05-28 08:29:06 · answer #7 · answered by Lotus72 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why are you letting your dead mother run your life? It's time you jumped out of the closet and started LIVING not just exhisting. Everyone has the right of the pursuit of happiness. USE YOURS !
2007-05-28 08:22:00 · answer #8 · answered by bebop_music 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You love your parents, you love yourself, and you love being. It is enough. Do not go crazy. Life is starting to cry almost all people.
2007-05-28 08:34:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my life sucks 2 nd im lonley just try2 met new people go vist ur old friends/family memers
2007-05-28 08:20:31 · answer #10 · answered by Sami 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋