How do I deal with this attention seeker?

Question

This is quite complex, so I will start with the history(it is very important).

Okay, so this dude was my friend since primary school. In year six at end of primary school, I went from an average kid to the smartest in the school, and my friend here got really jealous. I excelled in everything in high school and he burned.

Note that this guy is not a hooligan, just retarded.

Anyway I included that just in case it might be a factor in his weird behavious towards me. Well you see, he is an attention seeker. An odd one. He used to to the strangest things to get some attention. To be "unique". He stole things(lol he stole my book), used Microsoft paint to put teachers in dresses and much more.

In high school we separated and my friends were all nerds like me. I am in year 10 now, and somehow my friends became his friends too(over about 2 years), so he hangs out with us.

Now here is the present problem. He is STILL an attention seeker(a worse one).

I will get to how his attention seeking harms me, but first I will explain how he gets his attention.

He buys drinks for everybody, pays everybody, and is CONSTANTLY buying gifts and things for people to get their attention. He gives hundreds of dollars. He doesn't work, he steals the money from some place in the city. Thousands of dollars!

All this information might seem irrelevant to the issue I will explain now, but it is important as it reveals who he really is, which is vital to dealing with his behaviour.

Lately he has been taking his camera out and filming everyone. I told him NOT to film me, and I will definitely not allow it. Thing is, I see him filming me secretly, waving his camera around I saw him pointing it directly at me under his bag and much more.

He claims he is making a "dvd" about kids at school. He says he wont include a picture of me, but still have info about me in it. He has ideas about presenting me as a gay, and more.

This guy is so retarded he gets in trouble just for the staff's attention.

His "dvd"(he wants to hand it out for free) is really getting on my nerves, and I am no longer sympathetic for his mental retardedness. I thought he would mature by now.

How do I deal with him? Simply ignoring him does not work, because he just can't get enough attention.

ps I also can not avoid him, as I he hangs out with my friends!

Response to first poster:
Actually my friends seem more loyal to me than him, so if there was a choice...But they wont actually exclude him.

Answer 1

The answer is in your P.S. in the fact that he hangs out with your friends. Sounds like he's more in that inner circle than you are. You need new friends.

Answer 2

If the person truly has a developmental disability, he will not change. Change is more difficult for people with developmental disabilities (DD). Since you have not been able to manage this behavior for so long, just look how hard changing behaviors and attitudes are for you. I know this behavior can be irritating, but maybe you should get some advice from a counselor or therapist to help you manage these feelings you have. Since I work with people with developmental disabilities, I meet people with this problem often and I tell the people that they irritate that their behavior can change much more easily than the person with developmental disability. The person with DD often does not see a need to change, but you realize the problem. The person with DD also often lacks social skills and often lacks friends of any kind. It is in some way good that he has some people to relate to.
Another thing is, maybe you have a problem being with people with DD. You should explore these feelings. Many people feel uncomfortable being around people with any form of disability. It is something to explore. Peace be with you and I hope you work it out.

Answer 3

He's not really a friend is he, if you happily call him 'retarded'? That's not how friends usually address each other.

Have you spoken to your others in your group about this issue? If they are happy with his behaviour and enjoy his company then you have a choice, put up with it or find a new circle.

If they share your concerns, then perhaps the least confrontational member of the group could speak to guy and explain your concerns.

I wonder if perhaps you're a little jealous that someone you call retarded seems to be more popular with your new friends?

Answer 4

It sounds like he has an obsession with you. I would immediately speak to school your counselor, principle and your parents and then all together sit down with him and his parents, he needs to know his boundaries, as well as the dangerous behavior he is displaying. Don't look at this as ratting out your friend either , you need to protect your self as well as get him some badly needed help. Especially with the stealing

Sometimes people create a fantasy about each other and have a hard time living in reality when this happens. this could totally be a phase as this is often hormone induced in teens, (picture a teen idolizing their favorite singer or actor, his idol could be just a little closer to home) but this could also indicate something more serious and it needs to be addressed as soon as possible. (don't forget Selena's biggest fan shot her, I'm not saying it will go that far but I am saying its not healthy)

Answer 5

i know it is hard but the best you can do is ignore him dont even speak to him tell him straight to his face how you hate his behaviour and if he wants to spent money on people let him is his money dont let this guy get so much under your skin focus your energy on something else he will soon or later get the hint and leave you alone

Answer 6

Anybody that craves attention will go after it until they get it. keep taking his money and thank the hell out of him for it, that way you feed his ego, and you're wearin prada without a job. Whenever somebody asks you in his presence, hey where'd you get that? tell them this guy "bought" it for me. hopefully he'll find somebody else to cling on for a change.