I need some friendly advice because I’m new to dating. I’m a gay virgin male in his early 20's and I’m talking to a guy online in his early 30's long distance who seems like my opposite in every aspect of our lives. He seems like the man of my dreams but then I think about reality and where I’m at now in life. I am a broken person inside and out. I come from a rough background but he’s willing to take me as I am and assist me. This man seems greater than who I am, he does things that I’ve always wanted to do like travel but I have an anxiety issues. If I end up with him things for me could either be really good or end up being really bad. I think more about the bad because it would take me away from family and I’m not sure if I can really trust or depend on him to not take advantage of my weaknesses. He’s extremely attractive too, the model type. He has given me some great advice but I feel totally unprepared to be in a relationship with him. I had turned him down but then I came back
2007-05-28 00:51:34 · 9 answers · asked by James 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
i myself can relate to that i wanna see wat ppl say in here
2007-05-28 00:56:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa man, don't go rushing into this blindly, you have so much to lose if it stuffs up, and don't go charging in like a wound bull just because you are a virgin. You have taken a positive step by asking for help on this site, but you must remember people can only give you advice in the right approach to take, ultimately the choice is up to you and you alone, why can't you meet this person a few times to see how compatable you really are and if the compatability and chemistry is really there then you can go for it, if it is not there then you will not be left high and dry. Think it through carefully and don't rush in to it, check it out in careful steps, you can always remain good friends on the net, don't let your weakness be your undoing and lose all that you have now.
2007-05-28 01:18:48 · answer #2 · answered by mrlonely_solonely_immrlonely 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation when I was younger -- met an older guy who I was deeply attracted to but had anxiety issues about my background (very rough), etc., and feared that I would act out with him -- verbally, physically, etc., which was part of my growing up. I decided to go for it and now 22 years later we're still together. In order to make it work I did a lot of work on myself -- I was upfront to him about how hard my life was, and I went to counseling. Through the years I have learned that much of what shaped me was trauma -- alcholic father, poverty, etc. -- which "wired" my mind and body. By dealing with that trauma I was able to get myself together; and yes, it requires counseling and medication just to even out my personality. All that's behind me now, I have a great relationship, a great job, have done things I never knew how I would do (travel, etc.) and also have a son. Deal with the trauma in your life and you will make yourself a great partner. Good luck.
2007-05-28 03:30:33 · answer #3 · answered by steve l 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Arrange to meet in person. If the chemistry is there you will both know it and then you can sort out what the best way to go. I had this perfect on line relationship going with the perfect man ... We met, spent one day together and I want to punch him in the head. Total loser. Dont make any decisions without the meet my friend. Take care, hope it works out for you
2007-05-28 01:05:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Until you actually meet this person you cannot be sure of anything he is telling you, including his gender. I hate to tell you this but people who approach you online and stay that way, usually have something to hide. Suggest a meeting, if he travels so much and is doing so well, then ask him to come to your city and visit you. His answer should tell you everything you need to know.
My advice is to get off the computer and start living life. Anxiety is part of living, but you have to live life to get used to it. Good luck.
2007-05-28 00:58:21 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-21 12:46:41 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are rarely as wonderful in person as they present themselves online. I'm not saying he's a fraud, although that's possible. I'm just saying that people put their best foot forward and he may not be as supportive in a "real" relationship. I had a horrible experience with a woman I dated online. Once we met in person, she moved in with me right away. She took advantage of my insecurities and played games with my head even after I tried to kill myself. I don't blame her for my suicide attempts because they were my own decision. I do blame her for playing games with me and trying to turn my family against me. I hoipe things work out better for you.
2007-05-28 01:22:00 · answer #7 · answered by Kuji 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
online relationship is labor intensive...pretty much means that its a lot of effort and time.......if you're an anxious person i suggestion you to stay away from it....cuz of the distance you wouldnt know what he's doing at the moment or who hes hanging out with.....unless theres a lot of trust in the relationship...goodluck
2007-05-28 02:26:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
On line relationships can be tricky, be careful. Can you survive a week without talking to him? If you can't then go for it!
2007-05-28 00:56:37 · answer #9 · answered by shadowofu_love29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋