when you & your mate argue, can u really take it back?

Question

and forgive & forget the harsh words, or do you think it does damage u can't repair?

Answer 1

It depends on how harsh? But for the most part everyone says things when theyre angry. Just talk about how you didn't mean it & you were just angry. Then give some great make up sex..Everything should be fine

Answer 2

You can't really take it back but you can forgive and if it's really horrible, forgive over time. If you are arguing about things like cheating, or something equally devastating, that may be worse. It's a pathway of thought leading back to what happened in the past. For the most part, if your argument leads you back to a memory that left you reeling, something that devastated your marriage because of some action or another, then, there may be a problem forgiving those words just said.
It depends on what triggers you and how deeply it is felt. In most cases, it can be forgiven and with time, just something silly you said long ago.
After all, it takes two to argue and both tend to say mean things, in the heat of the moment. If you love each other, you can forgive.

Answer 3

My husband and I have never had an argument, not that it couldn't have happened. I came from a family that loved to argue and would argue even when they were proven wrong so I had some obstacles to overcome and as I grew up, I made up my mind I wouldn't have a life like that when I married. Even if he snaps at me, I keep my mouth shut and we discuss it later rather than argue over things that don't matter.

I think the fact that you used the word argue says neither of you are thinking about what you are saying and just want to be right even when you are wrong. Children argue, adults discuss issues and come up with solutions.

Why don't you sit down and make up a list of things you have argued about recently and figure out why they turned into arguments. What part did you play in keeping it going? Did you say mean things just to get even or were they true? And if they were true, what did you hope to solve by saying them?

Then the two of you sit down and discuss some of the issues and figure out ways you can work out problems without the two of you exploding and going into children mode. You may have to go to a counselor and get outside help to guide you but do it if that is what you need to keep things on a sane level and to keep your relationship happy.

Never go to bed mad
Never be afraid to say you are sorry no matter who started it
Always say I love you before parting
Show respect to each other even when you feel angry
Never keep a scorecard on who has done what
Always be willing to forgive when the other says they are sorry
Read and study your Bible together
Pray together every day and ask for guidance & a cool head

Life was made for happiness and there are enough unhappy events that fall on us without adding things like this. Work together, not against each other :)

May you have many years of happiness and wonderful memories together :)

Answer 4

I personally think it does long term damage atleast on me When i argue i can control the things i say not so much the volume of my voice but what i say Some just blurt out whatever comes to mind in a fit of anger Which they obviously have no control over In my experience when someone panics they lose control and vice versa Having control of a situation would obviously not make you loose your head If your confident and have certaintee in what your arguing about your able to stay level headed an can stop before you let hurtful things come out your mouth. But lets say you dont know if your right or wrong or dont even remember what you were arguing about You might loose your head loose control And your not certain of anything. Shouting out what whatever your feeling in a uncontrolled unthinkable way . Cuz thats it your not thinking rationally or logically. Try thinking under pressure and perfect that and you might have a chance to prevent having to repair and forgive things

Answer 5

There are some things one can do to repair the impact of harsh words if they are done with sincerity and genuine apology. However, nothing can really be taken back if it involves a personal characteristic that one cannot quickly, change, for example, nationality, race, color, religion, size or gender. It depends largely on the circumstances under which the harsh words came up, their relevance to the situation and the nature of your relationship to your mate (committed or casual). Statements of that nature are not soon forgotten.

Answer 6

When one argues, there is always harsh words. Sometimes the words hurt them so much, it just stays in their mind. That can be damaging. Women are more forgiving.

Answer 7

No, sometimes it takes a bit of arguing to learn about what the mate is passionate about. Unless there were words that defamed the other person's character, there should be a way to work things out.

Answer 8

what actually causes an argument is that someone is doing or not doing something the other person does or does not want them to do, so in many cases the argument are words that they use to express their dissatisfaction to this behavior, so when someone feels they have been 'hurt' by the words whether or not they are the Truth or misused they retaliate by 'hurting back...a lot of times the 'Truth' comes out during an argument, and though they can be forgiven, they are not forgotten...it is easier to sit down and discuss the issues before they escalate to an argument

Answer 9

Depends on the issue... but, if u r in loved, definitely u r able to forgive & forget, to apologize no matter if u r right...
BUT - all words can not be forgotten - have u heard that the 'words can break bones'..?

Answer 10

Think back on yoru life. You never forget hurtful things that people say about you. If you think hard enough you can remember things that children called you in school, mean and hurtful things co-workers have said, etc. You never forget what is said. That is why it is so important to choose your words wisely. Think before you speak. They can be forgiven but will never be forgotten.