My 18 yr.old neice is pregnant & is having outbursts of anger! She's always been the sweetest & most kind person! She seems so irritable! The family all supports her and let her know that we are here for her. We let her know that we understand her hormones are different now, causing mood swings. She's approx. 6 wks. along and receiving prenatal care. So, any suggestions and new ideas for how to make her experience better? Thanks.
2007-05-27 23:52:59 · 19 answers · asked by jamz 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I had those too in my first trimester. My hubby said I'm using my pregnancy as an excuse to be a b*tch, and I packed my bags to go to my mum. The truth is, it's hormones taking over and you have no control over them. I opened my mouth and she-beast came out. It passed completely now, I'm just weepy but at least my hubby isn't living in fear anymore.
It's the same with your niece, and added to that the fact that she's so young and probably scared it just makes it worse. When she gets anger outbursts, listen to her, nod your head and when she's done give her a big hug and tell her everything's okay.
Take her shopping, if you can afford it, buy her a little something new (like a shirt or a pair of jeans) and something for the baby. Or book her in at a beauty salon for a facial and get her hair and nails done. Feeling good about yourself makes the world of difference.
In the end, all you can do is be there for her. Nothing you do will get those hormones under control, and it's gonna be bad for her for a while to come yet.
2007-05-28 00:26:09 · answer #1 · answered by elainevdb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am going to be 27 years old in 2 days. I am 35 weeks 4 days pregnant with my first baby. I too had extreme mood swings. I was raging all of the time, but I couldn't put a finger on what was making me so angry. The best thing for me was my supportive husband and family. I would not reward her behavior by paying for massages or shopping trips because this will only seem to reward bad behavior. Let her find out who she is through all of this, and find her own way of coping. Remember tho, to be understanding. Being pregnant at 27 is scary, I cant imagine how scared I would be if I was 18.
2007-06-03 04:38:02 · answer #2 · answered by pregwith1st 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
very sweet of you. Addressing this issue before the baby comes along is a good idea. It isn't only hormones causing her mood to change, it's the immense power of the situation she's in as well, it's a lot emotionally for her to be dealing with. Having the support of those around her is a good thing. Does she have friends also that she could relate with? There are support groups for mothers everywhere (MOPS and teen MOPS is one I can think of) and sometimes hospitals and planned parenthood centers have these groups. Sometimes the support of your family is different than the support of a friend. I had a child at 18 also, and while my family was supportive, I really felt very lost and alone because my old "friends" were suddenly no longer of interest to me and I didn't know anyone else who could help prepare me for my new role. Maybe there is a church group?
Rest assured, that if she was always sweet and kind, she will probably return to being sweet and kind. Try not to disregard her anger by blaming it all on hormones; she might really honestly be upset.
Perhaps instead of treating her like a weak flower who needs support, you could treat her as the responsible, maturing woman who is ready to welcome and care for her own child. Encourage her to make her own decisions and be respectful of her perspectives. Instead of doing everything for her (financially and baby supplies) encourage her to seek out resources and situations that allow her to do for herself. She will grow more responsible and develop a sense of pride and accomplishment by not "needing" all the support that's available.
Congratulations, your village is growing!
2007-06-01 11:42:25 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mostly at 6 weeks pregnant you are still on a high, you have just found out that you have a tiny life growing inside you, might be feeling like you are peeing every 5 minutes, little nauseous sometimes, and sore nipples or breasts. Hormones are raging but she shouldn't be angry, perhaps she is uncertain about her future and if she really wants to have the baby at 18 its a huge thing, I would approach the subject or seek counselling.
Oh and if she really is sure she wants to keep the bub, she needs some pregnancy stories from nanna's, the old duck accross the street etc etc, old wives tales how to deal with hormones, morning sickness, stretch marks or even join one of the internet baby clubs, heaps of people in the same boat there, she will find age and circumstance related women she can chat to or even just nice ladies that will help get through the next 34 weeks and beyond
2007-05-28 00:20:11 · answer #4 · answered by Elisa B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I got preg at 18 and was the same. I am 30 now and pre with my 2nd and it so different!
Its not only hormones but also your whole life flashing before your eyes and realising you are sacrificing and changing for the bub but the father isnt (not like the female has to anyway) fear is another thing its scarey being young and pregnant even with support and this creates stress and anger.
She may feel this isnt what she wants now deep down but she feels she has no choice and that feels unfair and you feel trapped.
Just give her understanding, express to her you know its hard but you are trying to be there for her and maybe that she needs to snap out of it cos she may just play this card the whole way otherwise and it wont do anyone any good!
her, the bub or you guys
2007-06-03 19:25:01 · answer #5 · answered by mummabellybump 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's very sweet and caring of you!
Just let her know that you'll be there for her, and try to keep her reasonably happy, a back rub, or offer to help her do chores, or let her sleep in once in a while.
Those pregnancy hormones can be a horror, but it must be great that she has such a caring family!
Be supportive, supply a shoulder and chocolates, that's pretty much it.
Good luck to you, to your niece, and the whole family. Bless you all.
2007-06-02 18:34:26 · answer #6 · answered by tottpaula 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's the hormones making her moody. All you can do is wait about 7 and a 1/2 months.
2007-06-02 10:14:23 · answer #7 · answered by christina30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hormones, as you have read. I had PMS like outbursts the first part of my pregnancies. I can't speak for her, but I will share my experience.
I have a wonderful and supportive husband and family. I sincerely appreciated their support (even at my worst). I was scared. I was with my husband-not 18, but we were significantly financially challenged. Not at all financially ready for a baby. While the extremity of the anger was hormones, the anger was valid. It was fear disguised as anger. It was easier to be angry at everybody, rather than admit I was afraid.
Also, until I started to show, the baby was more of an idea. I knew I was pregnant, but it wasn't 'real' yet. I was driving myself, and everyone around me, crazy with my ideas of what having a baby meant. I hadn't fallen in love with the baby at that point, just freaked out about the needs of the baby (diapers, clothes, formula, bottles, etc) and how was I going to provide it.
When I started to show, and feel the baby move, it became real. When I found out it was a boy and started to think about names; he became 'real' to me. It was a real person then.
When my family would get excited, and start talking about the baby I would smile and play along. Silently, in my head was a constant 'How am I going to ______ for the baby?" I appreciated the support, but I felt like a failure cuz I couldn't take care of my own baby.
A suggestion to cheer her up: Take her out, or ask her what she would like just for her; focus on her rather than the baby. Not baby clothes shopping or anything for the baby. Don't talk about the baby, unless she brings it up. If there are any family members (cousins, family friends) around the same age, ask them to take her out-maybe go see a movie.
At 18, she is still a very young woman. She probably thinks her entire social life is over and EVERYTHING will revolve around the baby for the rest of her life. Help her to learn that even moms have social lives too.
She is a very special person to decide 1st) to have the baby, and 2nd) to keep it when there are alot of options out there. It takes a very mature mind to take responsibility for the choices we make. A baby isn't a consequence, but rather the result of a choice. There are alot of young women who make very different choices to take care of their 'consequence'.
Be proud of her responsibility. At the same time, remember what you were like at 18. If you are a parent, you know that children aren't the end of the social world, just a modification.
She needs to know that you love her for who she is, not just because she 'got herself in a situation' and needs to be bailed out.
Sorry so long, it's a complicated issue.
2007-06-01 21:56:00 · answer #8 · answered by tipperwell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't get mad at her for being moody. When she's in the middle of being mad or depressed or whatever, let her know how she's acting, and that you're going to ignore it and try to have a conversation anyways, or that you need to wait until she feels better. When I was moody, I didn't even realize what I was doing until someone pointed it out, and gave me a few minutes to calm down. Good luck!
2007-06-02 06:35:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
Offer to pay for a lovley massage for her...
Maybe take her shopping and look at baby clothes and maybe buy a cute outfit or something...
She just has outbursts because of her hormones try and stick by her at this point in her life...And try to make her pregnancy as enjoyable as you an for her...
Goodluck
Cassie xxx
2007-05-27 23:56:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋