why do i want to have a baby so bad?

Question

now, im only 19, i am single, and i am a lesbian.
but i want to have a baby soooo bad. i know i couldnt support one financially and im def. not about to have sex with some man just to have one, but i want a baby so bad.
is this like a hormone thing? and if it is, why is it happening to me as a lesbian because i know i cannot reproduce with out assistance.


please no ignorant answers.

hahaha.
yes hunny, i am a lesbian and black, and you know nothing about me so before you try to call me a liar or whatever, know your facts.

i respect everyones opinion so please respect mine.

please do not tell me that God doesnt accept this, blah blah blah.

we are not talking about God right now.

Answer 1

Hey girl. Dont listen to these idiots who are saying that you cant have a child and cant reproduce because you are a lesbian. They are ignorant. You are still a women and always will be, there are many options for you to have children. One is to go to a sperm bank and pay for it. Another is if you have a friend who is willing to donate for you, then you can do it as simply as a syringe and a sterile cup. The transfer of the sperm to the syringe obviously has to be very quick, but I have a few friends who have done this successfully. Adoption is always an option, but thats not the same and I feel you there. Me and my wife are planning to have children also and adopting is not something we are interested in at this point.

What you do need to consider though is the fact that you are 19 and single. I understand the maternal need to have children, but you have to consider how difficult this would be on your own at this age. You also need to consider if you do this, how difficult it will be to find a women who wants to be with someone who has a child. Alot of lesbians are not into this. I suggest that you wait until you are in love, and know that she is the one, before you make such a life altering decision. Good luck.

Answer 2

Could have to do with a milestone for you. Could be that you see people with babies being happy and you want that. Could be you're hoping a baby will fill a gap of some kind in your life. I can't really tell you based on the info you gave.

You may find you want to have a baby more when you're ovulating, that's the only hormonal thing I can think of. So keep an eye on your cycle.

As for the actual making the baby, first step is to make yourself financially ready, they're a big financial responsibility, but not a financial impossibility. Ask some questions on the YA parenting section about the costs and so forth.

Make sure you're stable in life too.

If you have a partner at the time, that's cool. It'll make raising a child easier if you have someone with you, instead of single parenting.

As for a man, you'll find there's probably many gay men in your area that would love to have a baby too. Find one that suits what you're looking for so far as genetics is concerned, ask him to get checked for all diseases, remember there's windows for when they show up, like 3 months minimum for HIV, others may be longer, but you definitely want a guy totally clean of all STDs.

Then keep an eye on your cycle, and when you're ovulating, then ask the man you've picked to ejaculate in a condom at your ovulation time, then you just invert the condom and insert it, the sperm will do the rest, no sex involved. It's arguably better than IVF because it's all natural.

So yeah, sorry I can't give more advice on why you want a baby, but I like to think I have good advice on how to make one. I do want one of my own after all, so I gotta know this stuff heh.

Answer 3

Hello Justine,
How are you doing? I hope you're finding answers to your question. I truly don't know how to explain in writing, but I will try to keep you searching. By searching I mean is, who you are.
I truly don't get gay relationships (but honestly to each his own is how i live). Both situations ( w/w or m/m) to me is just and obscure natural relationship (man/woman), because its two people of the same sex imagining that the other is of the opposite sex. No matter if you're the female or the male of the relationship your natural feeling for reproduction takes control which before modern science had come into play you had to follow the natural way to feed that urge of reproduction.
So I guess my answer is, it's a natural thing. But, I feel at 19 yrs old it's a little more than that for you, I think you're feeling a little more than the motherly drive. You may be desiring the ole, wife, husband, children thing, just as you wanted when you were younger. Think about the total picture in your heart.
Sorry I went a little future than a simple answer, but that wasn't a simple question. I hope my answer helps you out.

Answer 4

Biological clock went off. Some women are just born with the natural need to be a mother and some aren't, it's not affected by your sexuality. Hell it's the same with men, just something makes some people want to have a baby more than others. Just deal with it until you are able to support a child and then take actions to have one. There are plenty of ways after all.

You'll probably make a really good mother one day but until then just be patient and try to ignore the tick tick of your biological clock.

Answer 5

Without getting technical, sex is no longer required to have children. Your desire to have children comes from the female side of your lesbian relationship. At 19 you have establihed you want no sex with a male. Yet in a lesbian relationship you sex acts mimic that of a male /female sex act. Having children would be the culmination of that act, you would feel more female if you produced a child, but your real reason is the motherly instinct you learned at an earlier age.

Answer 6

It's partly hormonal. I think it's also part of coming to terms with that part of being a lesbian. Fortunately, now motherhood is an option but you will never be one of those women that it just happens to. I'm bisexual and when I've been in serious relationships with women (ones I thought would be permanent) I seemed almost obsessed with having a baby. With my husbands, I just assumed it would happen sooner or later and it wasn't much of an issue until I was in a bad accident and it was clear that motherhood wasn't in my near future.

Answer 7

Just because your a lesbian, doesn't mean that physically you won't have woman instincts. It's a hormonal thing, and the fact that you and your partner(if you have one) may have been getting really close can bring up the maternal instincts. Remember that this completely normal, and just because your lesbian won't stop you from having them, so you don't have to be worried, it's normal, and it will pass. Hope this helps buddy :)

Answer 8

You can go to a sperm bank, and pick the donor. You're too young though. I think you just long for someone to love and someone who'll love you, unconditionally. Give it some time.
You might find a lovely partner who'll want a baby too.
Imagine how much better it will be if the 2 of you decide on this toghether.

Answer 9

I want a baby too. Im getting kinda old for this, but I love children and really want about a dozen. I'm 44 now but the desire for children has never gone away. Oh and I'm a gay man.

Answer 10

It is within your desire and wish to have a baby as lesbian but it is impossible for you because of the situation.
anyway that can be taken into consideration and c ould be given a remidy if you really want to have a baby to attend to.

Just go to the orphanage and apply one baby for you
to grow up with you. There are many babies there who are without mother and just waiting for someone to get them.

One more remedy is to widen your thinking and opening it widely by going to the houses of prostitutes and tell them that they will give you a baby which those prostitutes do not like because prostitutes are only good for prostitution but do not like to live with babies.
jtm