are things ever gonna change???any suggestion to help?

Question

as you can see in my other ? i am going through a lot for a 21 year old. i was married for 3 years to a woman who just up and left and put me in financial ruin as well as took away my life...my daughter. i have just gotten back from a tour of duty in iraq where i was injured, i feel like the walls are closing in on me, i cant stand to be around anyone anymore, i feel as if i could punch someone in the face and not care, i cant sleep, when i do go to sleep sometimes i hope i dont wake up.i am upset i feel this way i could never hurt my self and i keep saying that i have to cheer up things will get better i need to get better for my daughter and fight to get her but i feel as thought it isnt enough.no matter how happy i am during the day,around friends and family at night i still feel alone and lost and hopeless. i dont talk about my problems to many people, mainly b/c i dont want to be labeld as sucidal or crazy by members in my unit, the army is all i feel i have and even it dont help?

i feel as though when i get one step ahead i end up three steps back.

Answer 1

I'm sorry you are going through so much at such a young age. Having been to Iraq and seeing the things you've seen, and lived the things you've lived have left you devastated. Having to come home to find your world falling apart doesn't help matters either. I read your other question about your divorce and your child.

One of the other posters in this question suggested a journal. Be careful, if your ex-wife were to come across the journal, anything you write in it can be twisted in her favor. While it does help to write your thoughts and feelings down, I suggest you don't keep them around for long - shred them or burn them or whatever - keep them out of other people's hands.

Keep fighting to get through your depression and hopelessness for your daughter. Be strong and try to take care of yourself, she needs you.

I agree with some of the other posts, that you need to seek medical attention, as you most likely have post traumatic stress disorder.

Thank you for serving your country, I will pray for you and all of the other men and women serving in foreign lands. (My son is in the Army currently stationed in Korea.)

Answer 2

First I would like to thank you for serving our country in Iraq. I am also very sorry you got hurt there. I hope you are doing better now.

At night is when you're not doing anything else, that's why it is so tough on you at that time. I am sorry that you have been hurt so badly by your wife's actions. Night time is the worst for me too when some thing has gone wrong and I am hurting, so I can understand how you feel. Please don't lose your hope. You are not crazy everyone feels like you do when they have been hurt. Your daughter still needs you, even if she isn't with you. Be as involved as you can in her life, see her as often as you can. Send her gifts and letters. Phone calls if you are allowed. Get yourself a lawyer find out what your rights are and what you can do about the custody of your daughter and being able to see her. There are things you can do. Prayer is the best help of all. Hang in there, don't give up. I will be praying for you too.

Answer 3

First of all you've got so much emotional hurt in you it's not funny. You need to find the best option like jogging, boxing or some hard working exercise.
Your life isn't over yet and you need to be put back on the right track. Try a councillor. If there are none you can find go see a local priest or vicar. They are used to councilling as well. You need to talk it through. They are there to help you.
Put your past behind you. Make a fresh start and push yourself forward. It is a struggle but is possible. You will fall but pick yourself up and try again.
The thing is nothing lasts forever and you based your life around your family. You didn't reallise it would come tumbling down into a mess. You need to clean it up and base your life round something that will last forever. That maybe religion for some people but it's up to you.
Good luck.

Answer 4

You sound very depressed. You could talk to your family physician and tell him that you feel hopeless and tell him all the 'symptoms' you have that all point to depression. Perhaps he can point you in the direction of a good therapist and more importantly, prescribe some anti-depressants until you can talk out what is going on in your life.
You need a relationship in your life that allows you to think you offer your daughter something more. 'Fighting' for her really is only going to be an application to the court to share custody so get a good lawyer now. Don't every even think of trying to take her away from her mother full time. A child needs a mother, even sharing custody with the other person she needs, who is her dad.
A counselor would listen to those problems and not label you (diagnose depression, however, I'm pretty sure of that.)

Answer 5

I think you have begun the steps toward a happier tomorrow. Writing down how you are feeling and keeping a journal is very theraptic. Chatting with people online that understand what you are going through or just have a listening ear can help also.

you are in the mist of a very difficult time in your life. If you are not comfortable talking to individuals in your friends/family circle, find someone. Talking things through can help you find answers to what you need to do for yourself in order to feel better.

Divorce sucks... no matter what side of the coin you are on and it takes time to heal. There a so many emotions wrapped up in the event and the roller coaster of emotions is absolutely normal. But don't keep everything inside.. let it out.

Financial matters will resolve as well. Things look grim but it will turn around.

Good luck and keep your chin up. Life is full of challenges and everything we experience has some sort of lesson in it, even if we don't see it immediately.

Answer 6

Listen to what these people are aying to u. Remember,its not how hard u hit, but how hard can u get hit and keep going. Take the hit right now and dont sweat it. Life is all ups and downs. Im 40, just split w/the wife yesterday. Shes gone, and I am totaly cool because ive been down so many times and Ive always gotten up again. You rebuild. Thats the fun stuff. I dont mind when im down because I like the feel of going back up. So be a soldier and be strong--trust me--it gets better.

And thanks for what u guys r doin out there. Great job! God Bless You

Answer 7

.Go and get some counseling. go and get some visitation rights with your Little girl. You may of changed because what you have seen. If you punch someone that will land you in jail and maybe harder to get visiting rights to see your little girl. Go out and have some fun with your mates.Don't stay at home it makes you think to much if i did this or i didn't do this we will still be together.Try at least friendship with your ex and have a middle ground for your daughters sake. Don't bad mouth your ex to your child that only makes things worse.Maybe you sometime to find yourself for what you have seen overseas. Go and join a club,do dance lessons, take up squash go and study so you can start again, put your daughter through the best schools so her life is better.Your daughter would have to carry crap if her daddy suicides and may blame herself, for some reasons kids do that. Move on but always include your little girl if you meet someone else don't want anything to do with your daughter don't waste your time with them. Even if you have visitation rights make the most of them as you child will always remember that

Answer 8

I can only tell you a little about what i went through when my husband walked out on me,like you i didn't want to wake up .I
would cry myself to sleep.I got myself so emotionally drained
I would be crying and yawning at the same time.I fount out why they called it heart brake because that is what it feels like.I actually felt my heart braking if you no what i mean and i think you do.I got so bad all i wanted to do was stay in the house and not talk to anyone and when the phone would ring i would get mad because i didn't feel like putting up with every bodies bull ****.All you can do is take one day at a time until one day you realize that it isn't that bad .I'm so sorry to hear what your wife did to you,she will get hers then you can sit back and which her suffer like you have.I won't tell you it will all work out in the end because sometimes it doesn't but we learn to deal with it.

Answer 9

As a former VA nurse you need to request a referral from your primary health provider at the Va to Mental Health for a consult. Not because I believe you are suicidal but because in 3 years and at a very young age you have seen and been through more than any normal human being can imagine. Having been injured makes the stress even more. Face it, you are not the young man who went over there. You are forever changed like bam, overnight. You need to talk to other men and women who were over there too. You may need medication for depression or anxiety. My goodness who would not be depressed with everything you have been through. I believe you have developed PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) which can occur after a tragic event or illness. I would say you have had both. Please make that appointment soon. God Bless you.

Answer 10

First thing you need to do is go to your minister and get some serious counseling to help you get all your emotions together and keep yourself on the right track. Your being injured is complicating alot of things so you need to sit down and make a plan of action.

You are wanting to get everything under control at once and that is one reason you are so overwhelmed by everything so make up a list of things you want to do and prioritize them by importance. Then list each thing on it's own paper and use that to write down ideas on how to solve that particular problem. Don't try to work on everything at once, just the top two if you can limit it to that.

I have disabilities from post polio problems so I understand how depressed one can get when they are trying to overcome health problems and dealing with other problems at the same time. Check out the link below so you understand many of your emotions and how best to deal with them and let your minister help you through these bad times until you can get things under control again.

And, if you are drinking with your friends or family or by yourself, it's best to give up all drinking right now because that will only add to your problems and you won't be able to work on your problems with a clear head. Remember, your daughter needs you :) :)

And thanks for your service to our country. I, for one, really appreciate all you have sacrificed to help keep us free and safe. You are a blessing in so many ways. Now prove to your daughter what a great father you are :)

Good luck and God bless. Will be keeping you in prayer. You are going to be ok ~ just keep believing that :)