How can i reduce the teasing my teenage son faces?

Question

Hey i have a 14 year old son. He is a freshman in high school. He has delayed puberty which runs in our family and his doctor says he will develop normally. The problem is his peers constantly tease him... he gets teased about his high voice and short height, and lack of body hair. it really makes him feel bad. After PE they change in the locker rooms and guys make really mean comments about his small penis. They single him out and it really bothers him.
How can i help him with this issue?

Answer 1

I was teased in the locker room the same way, to which I responded that "it only made sense that I was behind in puberty". To this they, of course, asked "Why?". I responded "Because it takes longer to grow a large penis than a small one." End of discussion. A great way to stop the penis comments is to simply ask "how do you know how big my penis is? This implies that they were looking, which implies that they are gay, which is a death label to a guy of the type that would make these kind of comments. My point in this is that if he approaches it with acknowledgment and a sense of humor, the fun will be out of it for the other guys, and it will be done.
Be careful not to fight his battles for him, though. He needs to learn to stand up for himself, and be confident in himself, no matter what others may say. Welcome to the real world, a little early, I guess!
Best of luck. You may e-mail me with more questions if you would like.

Answer 2

Find him a strong adult mentor. Maybe he could ask one of his teachers that he likes, or possibly, if you're single you could get him into Big Brothers/Big Sisters program. If the bullying is going too far though, and the other boys are getting way too out of hand you can always make an anonymous call to the principal and mention that there needs to be some sensitivity training or something done. There is no law that says you have to identify yourself to the principal just say something along the lines that you are a concerned parent who's heard about some serious bullying activities that are making some of the less endowed boys in the school uncomfortable.

Remind your son that when he does develop that those boys will be sorry, because I bet he'll have a great personality and he'll go much further in life than many of them. He just needs to hold his head high and I'd say get him some counseling or at least a weight bag to hang in the garage or somewhere safe so that he can blow off steam. Encourage him to start blowing off steam in healthy ways (exercise, a hobby like music or art) and he'll get through this and also have a rocking body in the process. That would be a great gift and his self confidence would be boosted as well. Good luck.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

My son was also bullied, not for the same reasons your son was, but bullied none-the-less... I put both of my sons in tae kwon do. These classes helped in many ways. First, I did a lot of research and interviewed quite a few instructors before I picked the class i wanted for them. The instructor that I chose was very strong, very intelligent, and used and taught the kids good common sense. He made sure the kids knew that fighting should be used as a last resort, they should try to talk themselves out of a situation first. If they must fight, make it a one punch fight and end it, in turn he taught them how to fight so they could take an opponent out in one punch. My sons both have had to use the one-punch technique a few times in life, only when they have been hit first... but they are able to handle themselves and have very good self control. They also feel good because I no longer have to fight their battles, they are perfectly capable of doing it themselves.

Find some sort of martial arts program that will instill confidence and self-esteem in your son. Most likely he will be hitting puberty soon and this will be a non-issue, but there's never anything wrong with them having common sense when it comes to being bullied or tough situations and knowing when to fight and when not to.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I know as parents it is hard to see your child hurt in any way. I am sad to say that high school can be a tough place for a teen to try and find his/her place. Talk to your son. Make sure that you keep an open line of communication with him. Then I would call the school. Request a conference with the principal or assistant principal and the coach. Let them know the situation and see if they have any advice for you.

Answer 6

I am in high school right now. the best option is to get your sons confidence up. Also you dont want to intervene because if you intervene he will get picked on not only for not hitting puberty but also because you intervened. So do something that builds you sons confidence and get him not to worry what they think. Also even though you might not like this tell your son to ask them next time why theyre looking at his genitals and that will get them to stop with the bullying

Answer 7

You stepping in will not help. High school kids are going to tease EVERYONE. Have him focus on getting good grades and being a good person. In the end, people will like him. He will get plenty of girlfriends by being a nice guy who is fun and easy to get along with. If you baby him and try to change things, then he will just get picked on more.

Answer 8

It is hard when your son has hurt feelings. There may not be much you can do about it if it is just teasing (although that is very hurtful). However if this gets worse and he is victimized, I would go to the school and DEMAND that he be removed from that class. Mentioning his penis size is sexual harassment and the school has to do something about that.

Answer 9

see if he can't take a p.e. class in a couple of years when he is more developed....the school should not have a problem with this....i agree that children do get teased and they must learn to stand their ground, but not over things like this....a freshman has enough to deal with

Answer 10

Make sure your son knows that he is better than those people who are doing this to him. Help him do/ find things that rais his self esteem, like buying new trendy clothes or shoes... getting a new hair cut... Keep his confidance up.... Hey you could always tell him size dosen't matter... Because it really dosent anymore. Most people are about looks... Make sure that he also knows that although they are "picking" on him, they are actually "picking" on themselves because they are insecure. He has no reason to be insecure about himself... He needs to be proud of who he is, not what people want him to be.