What is SO great about marriage?

Question

It seems more like a trap to me. I mean if I happen to be seduced then my husband would probably want a divorce. I can see that happening, as I am not good with temptations (especially those sexual in nature). And the thought of children frightens me. I really don't think I'd make a good mother. How do you people put up with children?

Answer 1

I am not married, but I can tell you this... You DO NOT have to conform to what society wants you to be. If you don't want to do something, then don't do it. It's neither wrong or right, you'll just be doing what makes you happy. Marriage is something women have been conditioned want for hundreds of years, centuries, etc. But, if you are young, the idea might change after a while. Just depends on the person.

Answer 2

There's nothing great about it other than if you take it seriously, then you and your partner have vowed to be together for life, and plan it accordingly. That's not easy you know. There's a LOT of bumps along the road,and there's times where you have to change and adapt and compromise...and children can be a blessing as well as a curse at times...and you are right to assume that not all women are cut out to be mothers. You really should not have a child if you are unprepared because a child is the ultimate sacrifice of your life! You will never live a day without worrying about them...they will drain you of all your energy, money and youth, but they will love you unconditionally as you will them. But unless you are willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of marriage and children don't do it. It will just end poorly. We need only to look around to see how many unloved and uncared for messed up kids exist in the world. It shouldn't be that way.

Most marriages end in divorce because people marry for the wrong reasons and just don't have the staying power.

Life is too tough these days. To go into things blindly you will regret it deeply.

Answer 3

I agree with what you are saying to a degree. I have always been apposed to involving 2 teams of lawyers and the government in my love affairs (i.e.: marriage).

But, when you look at the big picture like I have been lately you may have a different view to what marriage could mean to you. I'm looking at my future and it's not looking too good. I am the youngest of 3 children. My father died 2 years ago and my mother acts like she's on her way out any day now. I'm 7 years younger than my brother and 10 years younger than my sister. My 2 nieces and I know each other but, I'm not sure how much I will be able to count on them, as I grow older. I am not married and I am disabled.

I'm starting to wonder if there will be anyone other than the government (and we all know what a lousy job that they can do) to take care of me in my old age. Will I end up being the weird old man in room 437 that no one visits or what?

Answer 4

Well, I thought the same thing you are thinking. I came to the conclusion that just because everyone else has children, doesn't mean I have to. I have never once had the urge to give birth to a child. I used to think something was wrong with me. Everyone told me it was because I was married to the wrong man. I was married to the wrong man indeed and I got a divorce (for many, many reasons). Now I'm married to the man of my dreams and I still don't have the urge to have a baby. It is my conlusion that we are not all meant to be parents. Isn't it great we have a choice in the matter?

Answer 5

1. Men live 10 years longer when married, women live about 4 years longer.
2. The CDC has found that married people have fewer health problems.
3. Married people are more likely than singles or chabiting couples to be satisfied with their sex life, and have sex more frequently.
4. Marriage leads to more financial stability. Couples who are cohabiting are far more likely to slip into poverty.
5. Married couples increase their assets by about 7% per year. Singles and cohabitors do not.
6. The act of getting married significantly increases people's happiness. 40% of married people describe themselves as "satisfied with life" or "very happy". 24% of cohabiting people, 15% of seperated people, and 18% of divorcees were satisfied with life or very happy. This study specifically was done with the same couples over time, proving that it isn't just that happier people are getting married - couples who *stay* married are happier than those who choose to divorce, even controlling for stress in the marriage or marital problems.

7. Marriage benefits children in a multitude of ways. ... Less high school drop out rate, less likely to live in poverty, less likely to engage in criminal activities, and the list goes on from there.

8. The BIGGEST reason - marriage benefits all of society. Married people are legally obligated to care for one another financially, and care for any children born to the couple. The savings from having a built-in safety net are astronomical. For example, many divorced or never-married parents are more heavily reliant on social programs such as welfare or food stamps. It is simply more expensive to run two households instead of one, so the money has to come from somewhere, and it comes from YOUR, the taxpayer's, pocket.

All in all, marriage is great for both the couple and society at large. If you are concerned that you might "happen to be seduced", however, do us all a favor and spend some time on your own before settling down. Trust me, I will *not* be "getting seduced" anytime soon, and it has nothing to do with luck.

Answer 6

I so relate to your concerns, especially about children. I've never been a baby lover or child lover, even with my own nieces and nephews. But with my own children, I adore them!

By being an active father (changing diapers, getting up with them at night, playing with them and disciplining them) I have developed a bond with my two children I would not trade for anything. Being a father is the BEST job I have ever had!! And for years I did not want to marry or have children!

In the marriage, having trust in each other makes for a strong relationship. Personally, I prefer the strong sense of security from only making love to my wife than playing the field. It is better for the children, for my wife and for me!

I realize I have only answered you based on my own life experience, but my opinions were so close to yours!!

And you may choose not to marry or have kids; and that may be the best course for you in your life! Good luck!!

Answer 7

It's very over rated that's for sure!!! I tried it once ... lost all of my identity ended up just a slave to the house, no smiles... no hi how are you? Lost so much when I finally divorced (including half of my father's house -as he died in the middle of our pending divorce; shares etc). My advice is don't do it! I never will again.
Now I am a graduate of fine art painting, I have taught; won awards; been on TV; been in discussion and debate panels and stayed in many countries across the world. When I was married he wouldn't even allow my work to adorn our walls! Of all the things I have lost he is the one I am happy about!!! Miss him? Like a kick up the butt!

Answer 8

"And the thought of children frightens me."

You can stop right there. Don't get married, and don't get into a serious relationship with a man.

I don't think I've met any man who would want to have a long term relationship with a woman who didn't want children.

Don't get me wrong- you can do what you want, but it's just not normal. Think about it- a social organism (#1) that doesn't want to increase its genetic fitness (#2)?

Wacky-dacky, that's all I can say.

Answer 9

I feel the same way. If I were to get married at this point, I'd lose everything I have. I never saw marriage as the answer for me. It's really one of those things that's not for everybody...same goes for having children.

Answer 10

Marriage and kids are only good if it works for that person. For you, perhaps not so great. For me, it's what defines me. I love being a mom and a wife. There's ups and downs, just like in any relationship, so we have to work hard at it but, for us, the journey is worth it.