I need advise please?

Question

My ex bf and I no longer speak. There were some things he was not truthful about that made this relationship end. He actually ended it. He had a child with a one night stand before we met, I helped him come to terms with it and he left me to be with the mother of the child. We were together for almost 2yrs. There relationship lasted 3 months. I helped him thru soooo much and at the time always repsected one another. We are in our late 20's and educated. This girl he had a child with is uneducated, does not work, and her only concern is getting him to fall in love with her, so she will be well taken care of. I have tried to talk to him several times about what happened, but he will not return my calls. Do you think he is ashamed that this all happened? I wonder if he regrets what he did...I never got that closure. We really cared for one another and things seemed to be getting better. I am the one that insisted he meet his child and get to know her. But everything fell apart

I guess what I am asking is....will I ever hear from him again? Its been sometime and nothing. And he is aware of the hurt he caused me. I don't want to get back with him, but I miss him. Regardless of whats happened. What should I do?

Answer 1

I hate to sound harsh but move on because he has... atleast physically. Mentally I'm sure he still loves and/or cares about you. If it makes you feel any better, this thing with him and her most likely wont last because he's in it because of the baby. As far as all the other stuff like her being uneducated and no job (which is another reason why he'll most likely leave if that's important to him), all that doesn't matter because the situation is what it is. I know it hurts now but don't let it hurt you years from now. Get what you deserve which is someone who cares enough about you to not leave you hanging. But then again maybe this is his way of doing what he thinks is best for you by not being around.

Answer 2

Sounds to me that he's moved (or is moving) on so I doubt he'll be calling. I'm not sure what you mean by educated and uneducated, to me educated means a college degree but none the less, educated people fall in love with uneducated people all the time and have for decades and made it work, especially if the man is the one that's educated. I'd suggest backing off and leaving him alone and let whatever happens happen. There's nothing you can do to change things and you may never get closure.

Answer 3

Forget him and get on with life!!! Remember he ended it the first time and he wasn't truthful. Is this what you want again?? If you put up with all that and then take him back, then he'll probably thinks he can get you back anytime and that right now it's more important to be with his child and the child's mother. Because of the way he left you will give him reason to apologize when or if he contacts you again!! Time to move on you deserve better!! Best Wishes

Answer 4

I know how your feeling. Its always been so hard to choose between reality and your own feeling. Nevertheless you choose which option it will still give you a scar of knowledge of what he had done in the past.

You already saw how he reacted to you, its obvious that he trying to fix the problem by raising the child and took care the mother. You cant do anything to this situation so I suggest you keep moving on and get over it. Its hard but not impossible.

I know its not impossible since I myself once had a marriage before and now I'm divorced.

Answer 5

ooh hard one.... He probably thinks he has to do right by his mistakes. On the other hand, he's to be commended for taking care of his responsibility. I know that hurts you, and you're the one that he should be with, but all I can say is give it time. Maybe he needs this little time to see if thats the life he wants. To say that he at least tried to make a life for his child. If it doesn't work out, then he'll probably come to his sense, and realize that it's with you that he belongs.

I know, this doesn't help much, but be strong. It'll work it out one way or another.

Answer 6

You did the right thing in getting him to acknowledge his child. Unfortunately, getting a one night stand pregnant happens and changes lives forever. He will need to pay child support and will need to deal with this woman he didn't know for the rest of his life. Don't call him again. Maybe he is trying to see if things will work out with her. Sadly, she is uneducated and doesn't work so he will have challenges there, too. This is what happens with irresponsible behavior. Go find yourself another boyfriend. One that respects you. You deserve it. Don't wait around for him to call you when things fall apart with her. Then you will need to deal with her, too.

Answer 7

I had a friend in this same situation.

He's probably going to end up running back to you behind her back so just be careful. And don't get brought into the drama because that's all it's going to cause.

If he does call you, he's calling you behind her back and is going to tell you how much he misses you and all that lying sack of crap.

He's a grown *** man and can make his own decisions. Just go on with your life. I'm sure you can find someone else who is alot better.

Answer 8

Get busy by working out, get a second job, read self help books, or anything that will keep your mind off of him. I have been there before and come to find out my ex had the baby tested and the baby wasn't even his - but he left me for her to "take care of his child." He had the best of intentions but oh well I was afforded my life back. Keep in touch with him (meaning calls once a YEAR) and get busy restablishing your life!

Answer 9

He may feel bad about what he has done to you. Maybe he has just moved on. In any event, it is best that you go on with your life. He is obviously not interested in contact with you right now. Believe me, you are more understanding than most women would be. It is ashamed that he doesn't realize what a good person you are. It is truly his loss, whether he realizes it or not.

Take care, and find yourself a partner that will appreciate you.

Answer 10

Oh, how painful to be left hanging and wondering. I have been in a similar situation and I find the best thing to do is to let it go an move on with your life. Someday he may want to talk to you but pressing him for answers or what ever wont get him to want to talk to you.