Husband says he wont "do" dirty diapers?

Question

ok were expecting our first in less than a month. from day one my hubby says the dirty diapers are "my job"
he is a amazing man and will be a amazing father but for some reason it really hurts my feeling that he is so agains changing a poopy diaper. i mean its his own child! i know its silly and insignificant but i just hoped he would love doing every little thing, even poopy diapers! Do any of you ladies have husbands this way? is it a normal thing for a guy to feel this way? will it fade? and if he doesnt get over it should i be offended or just understand that some people dont like poop...even if its their own childs?

Answer 1

My husband said the same thing when i was pregnant...but now he changes diapers on a daily basis.

I think most men won't do it bc they don't know how or are just freaked out about it...but my hubby loves any time he can spend bonding with our child.

Give him time. Wait until the baby is born...he'll change.

Answer 2

First of all I had the same problem with my husband and my feelings were hurt too. Try to remember that you are very hormonal and you are probably a little more sensitive than normal.

Second, like I said I had the same problem with my husband and I felt the same way. My son is 4 month old now and I can't count how many poopy diapers my husband has changed!!!!! =) My brother in law said the same thing he has had over a year of changing dirty diapers and the same goes for my husbands cousin. I think it is in their nature to say that before the child is born.

As far as if he doesn't get over it....well you need to see how much it affects you before you decide what you want to do! First and foremost you should talk to your husband about the way you are feeling. You said he is an amazing man so talk to him..he is your partner...I'm sure everything will be fine.
Congratulations and Good Luck!

Answer 3

Your husband will be suprised what he will do for his child once it is born. No one knows how much their lives drastically change until they have a child. Nothing in this world will be greater then holding this little baby in your arms. Be patient because he is a first time father. Once you see your husband hold his baby your view of what he does and what he doesn't do will change. You will then know how much he loves his child and the things that he does for his child will be so special. Something as simple as him not wanting to change diapers will no longer seem important. Concentrate on what your husband is willing to do for the baby and most of all tell him how great of a father he is. Your going through the emotions now and having a baby is a big step. Pray for a happy and healthy baby and worry about the diapers later. SMILE Soon you might be fighting over who gets to give the baby a bath, change the clothes and yes change the diapers. Congratulations!!!

Answer 4

I did not have this problem with my husband and our kids, however I have had to give several friends, both male and female advise about this issue. Raising a child together must be a 50/50 job or someone will begin feeling overwhelmed and resentful; usually that doesnt make for a happy relationship. Simply explain to your husband that his resistance is bothering you. There are things you both would rather not do when the baby arrives. No one LIKES to change dirty diapers, wake up every two hours for feedings, nor be spit-up on. As for the diapers being "your job", yes it is your job, but it is also his. If he remains resistant, find ways to force him to change the diapers. Leave him alone with the baby while you have an important errand to run around the time your baby usually soils its diaper. If no one is around he will have to do it. You can also simply ask him to change the baby, or ask him to help you change the baby. Once he has been daddy for awhile he will be de-sensitized and wont argue anymore. Should he remain in this stage dont sweat it too much as long as he is helping out with everything else. It could be worse, a good friend of mine came to stay with us when her baby was about 6weeks while their house was unlivable thanks to hurricane katrina. One night at dinner she held the baby while he ate because the baby was being fussy. After he finished eating he got up from the table and went into their bedroom. She called him back out asking him to take the baby so she could eat, to which he replied he couldnt take the baby because he cant hold her and the playstation controler at the same time and turned to walk back into the room. I took the baby from her and took her to her father and firmly put her in his lap. "I guess you'll just not be able to play your game then" I said and went back to eating. There were several times I had to coach and console her about getting him to do more, but it all comes down to being firm and giving your husband your best "dont mess with me" look.

Answer 5

That is what my husband said. Our baby is now 8 months old and my husband has to do dirty diapers when I am at work...he got over it, I'm not saying he did a great job but at least he gets our baby "mostly" clean! :)
I don't know a guy that WANTS to change a poopy diaper-most are forced to.
Good Luck and Congrats on the baby!

Answer 6

Congratulations on your second child and your husbands first. Why do I say second? Because your husband is your first. He's nothing but a big baby. Demanding who should and shouldn't do or have what.

I'd tell him that either he changes the diapers or the baby won't get changed at all because you get sick when changing a messy diaper. What's he going to do? Let you get sick, if that really were the case? It shows me how much he thinks of you and your child.

I'm a father of two grown kids that I changed messy diapers for both. Once, my son decided to "paint" his crib brown, if you know what I mean. I cleaned it up, did I like it? no, but I did it anyway.

Now that I'm older and so is my wife, she now is incapacitated and I now have to change her diaper whether it be wet or messy. I do it because I love her just like I did it for the kids because I love them. It shouldn't be anybody's "job" to change diapers, it should be done out of love and for not other reason.

Congratulations on your new child.

Good luck.

Answer 7

well he had no problem with helping you make the baby, so he is going to need to step up and be a man and change a poopie diaper. what is he going to do if you are gone for a few hours and the baby has a dirty diaper,,,,,hummm, is he just going to let the baby sit there and get severe diaper rash. i know my husband doesn't enjoy changing poopie diapers and nether do i, but it must be done and if i were you i wouldn't stand for it. plus what does he do when he poops, does he call you for help or does he do it him self. i think he just want to be lazy and get out of diaper duty. and if you are breast feeding most new babies have a bm with each feeding so who do you think will be stuck with diaper duty if he wont do the poopie ones.

Answer 8

At first he might say that (the thought is very disgusting) but eventually he will come around. I mean, as a man, you'd be surprised what you'd do or put up with when its your own flesh and blood. I know I've changed over 100 poopy diapers and been pooped on, he'll probably get over it.

Answer 9

If he doesn't come around within the first 6 weeks, I'd be amazed! If he really doesn't deal well with the doody, you could work out something with him: tell him that you'll be happy to do the dirty diapers, as long as he takes the vomit. (The returns on this are great when they start school & catch their first tummy bug!) If there is something else that bothers you more, pick that instead. My husband doesn't do vomit, that's fine. My dad gave us our baths when we were babies because my mom was scared she'd drop us under the water or something. 31 years later, all is well, I didn't drown, and I have a great relationship with both my parents. (By the way, I take my baby in the tub with me and hold him on my lap Indian-style so he doesn't go under the water!)

Answer 10

My husband said the very same thing and I actually cried over it. In the hospital he was in awe of watching me change that very first poopy diaper. Then we we got home and I was finally able to get some rest the baby needed to be changed and he did it. My son is now 2 1/2 and he still changes poopy diapers and it isn't fun but he knows that if you don't change them our son will get a rash and if I have to stop doing what ever it is that I am doing it will take a lot longer for me to be able to pay him the attention that he needs. What you need to do is ask him how long he would like to sit in poo and then just hope he cares for his child more than he cares for himself. I have heard my husband gag over some of the prizes our little one has had on his bottom but that bottom being rash free is more important than a couple of minutes of discomfort to him.
I think you will be just fine!