me and my mom had a discussion and she said that if she could do it all over again, she would have never gotten married. Do a lot of people feel this way? It seems like it is more of a burden then this romantic ending everyone makes it seems. If you are married, do you regret getting married and why? If you are not, do you think you want to get married. Having this conversation is making me think twice about committing my life to someone and regretting it later!
2007-05-27 16:56:16 · 30 answers · asked by from_me_to_you 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been married 3 times and will soon have my 4th. I guess the closest I have come to regretting having married was to my 2nd wife...what I thought was a marriage made in Heaven turned out to be made in Hell.
In todays societies the average marriage lasts from 5 to 7 years in North America from stats I heard just a week ago. The reason being families are not close knit like they once were. You no longer have the 2nd and 3rd and sometimes 4th generations of a family living in the same town or home. This results in a breakdown of the marriage. I did not say this is in every marriage lasting only 5 to 7 years...it is the average.
Although I am about to have wife #4 we are not marrying...we are only living together for as long as it lasts. Would I like for it to last until death do us part? Sure, but not sure that will happen. I am being realistic about it not romantic.
Good luck in your decision. Just go in with your eyes wide open and enjoy those 5 to 7 years to their fullest.
2007-05-27 17:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by pinelake302 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I love my husband with all my heart. And, if I hadn't married him, I would have never had my two beautiful sons. Don't decide not to get married just because some people regret it. There may be things that you don't know. You need to have good communication and respect for each other in a marriage (in any relationship, really). A lot of people just don't talk to each other. This is where a lot of the problems arise. By then, they have drifted so far from each other, they don't think there is a marriage worth saving. My grandparents (on both sides) have been married for 50+ years. I seriously doubt they would say they regret getting married, either. Sure, things go wrong sometimes. But when you are married, you will always have that one special person to help you through the tough times. And of course they will always be there in the good times as well. I know marriage is not for all, but I love my married life and would not change anything.
2007-05-27 17:12:30 · answer #2 · answered by Katie R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not every marriage is made in heaven. When you are going through a rough patch, sometimes you wish you had never married. Sometimes one person has to take a "back seat "
for the good of the family. People who marry young before they have had a chance to see what they really wanted out of life, may regret it more than someone who had a chance to have a career first. Kids change everything. I have 3. I cannot imagine what my life would have been like without each one of them. It's not perfect, and I've made mistakes--
not cheating, but things I wish I could go back and do differently now that I have more life experience. Even if you stay single forever, you will have regrets. Catch your mom on a good day; see if she has a different opinion! Good Luck!
2007-05-27 17:05:19 · answer #3 · answered by M S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think things were different for our parents. My mom says the same thing. I think back then people were expected to marry the ones that they dated or thought were a good match. They settled sometimes for building a life and a family; not looking for the real deal. Even after my parents got divorced, my mom re-married to someone just because it was what she was supposed to do. She loves my step-dad, but she never got to meet the love of her life. It's almost like she acquired another child, not a partner.
I'm 26 and going on three years married. I absolutely love it and would not trade it for the world. The way I differ from my mom is that I dated more and lived with a few boyfriends before I got married. Everyone has a "list" of qualities that they look for in a mate. The way I see it, when I met my husband, the list disappeared. He is everything and anything that I could have wished for. I know my mom has never had anything like I have now.
I'm not saying married life is a breeze, but when it's with the right person, it's pretty darn close. My hubby and I mutually respect each other. We treat each other like equals, yet allowing for each other's strengths and weaknesses. We don't fight, actually never had a fight. Now don't get me wrong, we may have a disagreement, but never once has it turned into yelling and screaming or saying something that hurts the other person.
My husband is my best friend; he is my family. I just wish I would have met him sooner.
2007-05-27 17:15:25 · answer #4 · answered by Kathy H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends... if u r married to the wrong person then YES u will regret it but u will never really know ahead of time if the person u r marrying is the rite person or not.. just try to get to know the person as well as u can.. because tust me u will regret it.. if u love a person but u dont feel like u have that much in common.. Love alone should not be the reason for a marriage because once u r married and after a few years have passed by.. that love is somewhere in the back seat because u will have other problems like trying to get along with each other.. so yes if u dont get along and u dont have an undertanding with ur spouse and not co - operation then u will definitly regret getting married..
2007-05-27 17:15:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, even though my husband and I are going through a rough time and might possibly get divorced. I got married fairly young (21) and definitely did not understand the effort involved in making a marriage work, nor did I really have time to find out who I was before I was 1/2 of a couple. I wouldn't be who I am today or have my two beautiful children had I not gotten married.
2007-05-27 17:20:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't regret getting married to the right one. I never had a boyfriend before because I'm a snob. Now that I'm here in Australia, the best decision I ever made. My hubby is kind & generous to my family. I think its just pure luck that I'm in this situation, I heard some other marriages are not good & ended in divorce mostly because of some bitter disagreement. Of course we have some quarrels sometimes but at the end we settled it out..
2007-05-27 17:06:47 · answer #7 · answered by shines56 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a good thing if it is with the right person, however if it is with the wrong person then you have problems and you will regret getting married. Make sure it is with the right person. Make sure you know the person and his background before you connect. I regret getting married because my x husband was a wife beater. I did not check his back ground, I was so in love at the time, His dad beat his mom and he thought that was the normal thing to do. So that is what he did.
2007-05-27 17:05:53 · answer #8 · answered by grouki 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't regret getting married. I wish some things had been different when I got married. I was pregnant when we got married (we had been together for 5 years and were planning our wedding, though). But, we didn't have a chance to enjoy being married before we had twins to take care of. That really put a strain on our relationship. I was so focused on learning to be a good mother that I forgot I needed to learn how to be a good wife too.
2007-05-27 17:13:09 · answer #9 · answered by ncgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i don't regret it but the thing to realize is that life is not a fairytale and to be able to live happily ever after is some thing that both people have to want and be willing to work on it takes commitment and the willingness to put your partners needs before your own and if your partners feels the same way about you, you have a marriage that works it's not always easy but it is worth it.i don't think your mother was trying to discourage you from getting married but i do think she was trying to give you benefit of her experience and knowledge so that you didn't end up yrs from now feeling like she does i mean after all think about this if she hadn't made the chooses she did you wouldn't be here and i really don't think she regrets having you.and well if your afraid of taking chances now because you might regret them later i think you might have a really boring life which is worse regretting a life of experience or waking up one day and realizing that you spent your whole being to afraid to do anything and now its to late.
2007-05-27 22:18:05 · answer #10 · answered by windwalker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋