married guys - help me out?

Question

just out of curiousity, why did you marry? help me understand why any guy in their right mind would want to get married.

this is from a single guy, who really enjoys his freedom and is puzzled as to why guys would want to enslave themselves.

serious answers only please.

thanks alot

Answer 1

I've been married for 20 years, never divorced. I am well educated and enjoy life very much. I didn't get married until I was 29. Here's my thinking. First, you are coming off as very immature. I don't think you understand what marriage is about, but that might not be your fault. Maybe your own parents did not have a good marriage? For me, marriage is a way to share my life with someone I love. My wife and I have faced life together for 20+ years, helping each other when the other is down. When her parents died, I was there for her. When I was sick in bed, she nursed me. We plan nice vacations together and enjoy the places we go. We take turns caring for our children so the burden isn't too great on either of us. We get great satisfaction watching our children as they grow up to become responsible adults with good morals and judgement. We face life together, side by side. Together, we are stronger than we would be by ourselves. Time seems to be flying by quickly because our lives are so fulfilling. We aren't "enslaved," we are committed to each other. Our lives seem rich and full. I suspect if I was alone my life would seem empty and without purpose. I have a great deal of freedom to do most of what I want, but I also feel like I have the freedom to love and be loved by another person. This is my choice. I pity you if you don't understand what I'm talking about. Maybe you just need to grow up a little? It gets very old hopping from bed to bed. It's an empty, shallow, unfulfilling way of life. You love no one and no one really loves you. How sad. Life is SO much more satisfying when you share it with someone you love.


Kent in SD

Answer 2

I didn't process what gay was when I was little. When I saw it, I didn't think anything less of it. I just saw a boy and a boy holding hands or a girl and a girl holding hands or kissing or hugging and thought that they were friends. I also used to think that if a guy and a girl held hands, at ANY age, I thought they were a mommy and a daddy automatically, too. I also thought all cats were girls and all dogs were boys, LOL... When you're young, you see something or hear something and for the longest time, you register that to be true. Doesn't matter what it is, it's just the innocence and ignorance that only a child can possess and it happens to all of us, as you can see from my admission. It's not that you're an oddball, this was just how you thought things were like how I thought things were. Different, but the same. Being gay and talking about it was never taboo in my home. My parents were open about it, though my father does not agree with homosexuality, he was never crass or rude about it. He said sometimes, a man loves another man and a woman loves another woman the way a mommy and daddy do. He never said it was WRONG or horrible. My mother said the same thing. It was always just no big deal in our home.

Answer 3

I am not a man I am indeed a woman. I am definately partial to the name Tom. First and foremost a woman must be ok in their own skin. If you marry the right one that truly loves you don't get me wrong in any relationship we will always experience the bumps in the road as we continue through our journey together, Purely suggestional if you would sometime not always think women are out to enslave men. After being in a relationship and then leaving it I learned alot on what love truly without a doubt is to me,its work!!!!! A relationship built together a strong foundation based from the start of a friendship and never losing it. Compassion, passion, support, compremize, care and definately share, Faith, Belief, Trust, Honesty communication, forgiveness, and the most important of all, with a closed mouth to listen to the one we love until they are completely finished talking. Then the passion!!!!! sex will be a whole lot more than just ok mighty fine!!!! The romance will come natural the sad sorrowful times together hand in hand in each others arms and sometimes wipeing away one anothers tears, The fun fun fun did I mention FUN!!! times, we wouldn't want to ever give up one single memory. the space that we sometimes give to one another to be who we are. The real happiness that will come from within. A balance Peace of heart Peace of mind. At the end of the day we give thanks and praise to the one. So tell me Tom am I a dreamer? and are you dreaming with me by now? Of course this is only coming from the heart of one born2damromantic just me Nan

Answer 4

Okay so seriously, after you get old and gray, and you're entire family has either deceased or gone off and gotten married themselves, who is going to take care of you? How do you plan to spend your time after your peak time is up? You might be a "hit" now, but you might not be at the bingo hall. One reason people get married because they have this unconditional love for each other. They don't care about all the bullshit that goes along with dating, and they just like settling down and spending every night with their love. A man is no way being enslaved by getting married. You'll understand all of this when you meet that right girl. I know my husband is in the army and he never once thought about getting married. We met and 7 months later we were married.

Answer 5

From a guy that wants to get married I can say that yes having a different woman (and that is a big part of this) all the time is fun but it gets old. Having to go out and chase after them and keep them from finding out your talking to several of them at the same time. Worrying about STD's. Lord help ya if you get one pregnant. With marriage the sex is much better when you truly are in love with someone believe me. You don't have to go looking for it your wife is right there at home. She can be your best friend as well as lover. It all depends on how you work it. Some guys I know are owned by their wives and some won't stand for their women trying to control every aspect of their life. I believe marriage is what you make of it.

Answer 6

There is an old saying for us architects ..... "if you want to run your own business marry someone wealthy and practice until their money runs out" .... lol.

Obviously I am joking because we are both still as poor as church mice.

Anyway.. the point is.. far from being enslaved.... we live in a stasis of mutual co-operation.. except for when we argue .... but even that is more about following a ritual than anything else, after 20 + years. We do make a team and what little inadequacies I may have, my partner makes up for in spades.

Answer 7

Married for 3 years and loving every minute of it. I married because I love and in love with my wife. I wanted a future with her and because she was a woman that was loving, caring ambitious, respectful and treated me like a man, I didn't want her to get away (they can be hard to come around). I also wanted someone I can grow old with and have children with also and that is why I chose my wife and got married. I knew I wanted children someday and I did not want to have them by different women. Please note that a man (or woman) is not "enslaving" themselves if they get married. You have it all wrong. If you enjoy your freedom, then marriage is not for you and that's o.k. But don't knock those of us that enjoy the marriage lifestyle. I too thought that marriage will be hard for me but once I found my wife and as I begin to mature, I saw things and life differently. I got married when I was 30 and I am glad I waited that long because I figured I am more settled and more mature.

Answer 8

Dear uncommitted,

Being married is challenging at times, but what is life about? Is life about taking the easiest road and just having a lot of fun? Is it just about enjoying ourselves and doing only what we want? I just got through taking care of an old man. He was 88 years old and he finally died. He had a wife and three children, but his wife died before he did and he remarried, eventually marrying my mom. Two of his sons died before he did and his other son couldn't take care of him. All of his other relatives lived far away and they weren't very many at that. If he wouldn't have married my mom, he would have ended up in a rest home to die a lonely death. This man had cerebral palsy. He could have easily stayed unmarried his whole life. But he didn't let his disability stop him from having a wife.

My point is, do you want children to help you share your life with and help you, or do you want to be looking for someone to share some time with for the rest of your life. Think about it.

Answer 9

I've been married for 23 years and I highly recommend it. To me marriage is a commitment for eternity with a best friend and partner. We've had difficult times, but we've also had great times. I love my wife very much and I believe the love increases over time.

It takes a great deal of effort to make a marriage work, but the greatest happiness you will ever feel will be within this relationship.

Children are wonderful as well. We have 2 boys and 4 girls and they bring me a great deal of joy. It's wonderful to see them grow and develop.

Answer 10

I am glad you asked that question ...I am on my 2nd marriage...I been married now for 24 years to a wonderful woman who keeps me in check...my first marriage I was young...I wanted everything my way..I had looks money and style...my first marriage lasted 5 years...I knew after my divorce that i would never do that again...but I was turning 30
and Women were noticing me..not messing with me but...messing with me..I woulda been perfectly happy single..however..my wife didnt see it that way...i guess if you wanna be single thats your business...I like feeling my wifes butt rubbing against my back at night...I hate sleeping alone...every now and then she wants to get jiggity...aint nothing like being able to trust someone with money...life...sex...children....I guess you just have to be there to see for yourself!