I wrote it, what do you think???
Sparkle
The magic stirred in me
The day our eyes met
My heart jumped for joy
With every word you said
I loved the way
Your eyes sparkled
Every time you heard me laugh
You said the sun seemed
To shine a little brighter
You really made me smile
And helped me keep my
Life in check
You love everything I do
But my song was unfinished
Like the way my heart
Felt, after you left
But the day you came back
Is the day you made
MY eyes sparkle
If you left me to
Go find yourself
I’d still find myself
Staring at your picture
And imagining
Your sparkling eyes
2007-05-27 12:49:40 · 25 answers · asked by ♥TruBlu_13♥ 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
It doesn't sound that good to me. On the other hand if a girl wrote that to me, my heart would skip a beat and I'd faint from the sheer magnificence of... ok it's pretty good...
2007-05-27 12:54:08 · answer #1 · answered by Tony H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
deep. Wow. I think it's really good! You should send it in to a contest or something! or just keep it for yourself, or give it to your sparkly-eyed partner. Whatever you choose to do with it, I bet the receiver will love it.
Great POEM!
2007-05-27 19:54:16 · answer #2 · answered by juliEmAnia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your poem is sweet, but you could probably make it better.... you don't want to be too mopey about your man finding himself... instead be empowering, engage in your own life and interests!!!! you could harness some real talent within if you iron out some of the creases!
good luck!!
2007-05-27 20:10:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good but you used eyes and sparkle too much
2007-05-27 19:53:09 · answer #4 · answered by Izzy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's lovely. I'd send it to someone I cared about also.
Keep writing ON!
2007-05-27 19:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by Mele Kai 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very sweet and how true of new love and the thrills it brings.
2007-05-27 19:55:05 · answer #6 · answered by allsmiles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I love it! That was really good! Keep Posting!
2007-05-28 20:29:01 · answer #7 · answered by cookiedough 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ughh It is good.. but i kinda agree with the other person it is kinda boring..sry
2007-05-27 19:52:59 · answer #8 · answered by jenny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its amazing, but if i were you make a couple things ryhme its beautiful though, are you a poet? if you aren't you should seriously consider it.
2007-05-27 19:53:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice and has a great story to it, but if you can make it rhyme, it would be even better!
2007-05-27 19:52:41 · answer #10 · answered by Sting Rock 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋