Embarrassing problem my best friend is more beautiful than me and I feel sad?

Question

we are now 21, when we were in high school (17 yrs old) I was very pretty and attractive.. She was too. Then I moved away for a few years when we met again she was gorgeous I was still pretty then I moved away and I came back last vacation she was much more attractive than me...


I love this girl she is like my sister and I don't wish her to be less attractive or anything.. the thing is I lost weigh so now my face is thin, pale and she already has bigger eyes..mine are so small... she has more attractive features, her smile is feminine, I smile like a dumb shy kid

I am not ugly I am beautiful too. When I'm alone or with other girls I get so many guys but whenever she's with me they just ignore me or talk to me as a second choice if she doesn't feel like it. Even my mom when she saw our pictures, said "she's prettier than you honestly"... "but you're pretty too"

Oh my GOD I just hate myslef for envying her I love her and I want the best for her I don't wanna compete with her..

thanks I feel much better

Answer 1

well tht wasnt v nice of ur mom to say tht. i think ur placing too much emphasis on looks. becoz there r lots of ppl who arent beautiful at all (i'm one for example). and guys paying attention to you shoudnt be the source of your self-esteem because that will wear out for you and your friend as you get older. remember beauty is only skin deep. if it helps think of it like this, inside every human being, no matter how beautiful, is a skeleton, the symbol of death and ghastliness in horror stories. so next time you look at her just x-ray her. inside she's a skeleton. it's a weird way but it might work. it's from ancient indian mythology....when this guy keeps lusting after this girl, someone shows him that she's just a skeleton inside. anyways, hope my weird n wonderful ways can help u.

Answer 2

Beauty can be a curse. I've never been particularly attractive and I thank GOD for it every day. Beautiful people have problems that I just can't deal with. Most of their problems come from chasing each other around, and trying to hold onto their beauty after age starts to set in. Beauty is expensive and time consuming, and robs you of some of the best times of your life if you let it. Then there is inner beauty, which you really should be trying to cultivate in the first place. Inner Beauty comes from maturity, grace, joy, and inner peace, and it helps you to enjoy each day, and comfort those poor souls that have to duel against their mirros each day.

I'll tell you a secret. Now that I am a much older person, the fact that I haven't messed with my face and hair a lot, mean that I am aging quite well. My wife and friends all say that I look a lot better now than I ever did when I was young. If you have a friend who was given the heavy responsibility of being beautiful, you can't really feel bad for her. It isn't going to last very long, and it isn't going to help her live longer, be happier, or add much quality to her life. It is really going to give her problems that you don't really want. I wrote a couple of songs that you can find on soundclick.com. I pasted the URL below in case you want to hear them. You can even download them for free if you want to. They might help you to feel better or gain some perspective about this.

Answer 3

I totally get what you're saying. One of my good friend has everything going for her...from the good looks and the brain. I know am not ugly because I've been scouted for modeling number of times and had a 3.4 gpa in school. But she gets the most attention, she's much prettier, and smarter (there's no denying that). Everything I ever wanted she's accomplished or accomplishing. For example: I wanted to learn piano, she's an accomplished quartet. I wanted to get a college degree, she's in med school. I'm a 3.4 gpa she has 4.0. but I also have to remember that she has a great support system... she didn't have to work to survive, her parents provides for her so she could concentrate on her schooling whereas I'm on my own and have medical condition so I'm limited of what I can do for myself... I'm my own support system. She's gorgeous but that also comes from a great gene... her mom was a former Miss Wisconsin.
So, the way I deal with it... I just try to keep an open mind and think about the great person she is-- it helps me overlook my own flaw and appreciate her great qualities and good looks. Hope that helps

Answer 4

Yes, it's always enviable when someone is prettier than you are. That's the situation with my sister and I. And yah, she's the prettier one! I'm pretty good myself, but my sister is in the beautiful category. But you know, I've never resented her luck in getting the better genes, looks-wise. I just marvel at her beauty and all I can do, really, is just make myself the best I can be. But because of your age, 21, you're in the looks-are-everything stage. I'm twice your age and I admit to having the same focus at your age. I thought that looks were almost more important than oxygen! The fussing, the primping, the preening. When you finally come to know yourself better, and this takes time and experience, you'll come to realize how stupid and ridiculous, this focus on exterior beauty really is! The magazines, the movies, the model ideals, are all so what life is NOT about! Yes, it's better to be prettier than uglier, but there is a point at which you've got to stop the preoccupation with "pretty". We are truly NOT just our physical bodies! We do have a heart and a soul, which is truly what gives you quality of life and love, not just your looks!
Women are so misled by this appearance thing. We've got to start to see past that. A lot of the hype is created by others wanting to make money for themselves! How much money have I spent on clothes and makeup over the years? Someone else is laughing all the way to the bank!

Let me tell you, you've got a very distorted view on feeling lesser because of your friend's beauty. Looks are so not everything! Yes, make the most of your appearance, but then, accept your limit and be content you're not worse off! Look at some others that are not pretty to look at, at all! Have you heard the saying, "There'll always be someone better than you but there'll always be someone so much worse off than you!"? And here's another one, "I met a man one day who had gorgeous shoes! But the following day , I met a man who had no feet!" So be thankful for all that you do have! We all have our gifts and talents. We are each unique individuals. Really, no two people are exactly alike! So why do we compare ourselves to others? You truly can't! Unique is unique! There's no one exactly like you! And looks are often no indication of what lies beneath either! Haven't you met good-looking people that are just awful as human beings? Either so snotty or so full of themselves that they're annoying to be around? Yes, it would be great if we were all beautiful and handsome. But life is so beyond just that. Start focusing in on your inner self and start to ponder about what it's all about. Physical beauty always fades, doesn't it? So I wouldn't advise you to put all of your eggs into that basket! Your self is so rich, so vast, so miraculous, that my gosh, start seeing past the exterior packaging of everything and everyone! There's so much more! Pick up Rhonda Byrne's, "The Secret" for starters! Start the journey to discovering the depth of your nature, which is so beyond looks, that I can't emphasize that enough! Get out of your "teen" mentality of "looks are everything". The nature of your being is everything! And at your age, I wish I knew then, what I know now! Looks are so not it!

Answer 5

if you start comparing yourself to other people, you're always gonna come up as worse sometime or another. If I compare myself to brad pitt or george clooney, I am pretty likely to come off as worse. If I then compare myself to my neighbour, I may be in with a chance. You're still pretty, but what does it matter if you're not the prettiest? You can still get a nice guy, have a nice life with a job that doesn't rely on your looks. Besides, once you find someone you love (which could be soon) you won't need to look the best anymore. Obviously, maintenance is still important to maintain your guy, but you won't need to be the prettiest to reel in any guys.

Answer 6

She is your friend and be happy that she is beautiful. Probably she may think like you that You are beautiful and she is not as beautiful like you. Beauty is a relative term. Otherwise everybody in the world will be queuing in front of either a man or a girl thinking they are the most beautiful and handsome people in the world.
Others will not be able to marry at all.Do not worry. You are also equally beautiful.

Answer 7

I think that since you are concentrating too much on your best friend you feel that she is much better than you but in reality that s not how it goes, relax you are overeacting, if you want do something for yourself that will make you feel better, both of you, go out, do makeovers on each other, and maybe you'll feel better but you are just having a temporary low self esteem

Answer 8

No two people are alike.
Everyone is beautiful. Beauty is inside not on the outside.
It is your personality that really truly defines beauty.
How do you j
know these guys really think she is pretty? They could be telling her this, and using her for whatever they can get from her.Your mother may need to realize looks are not everything.

Answer 9

It normal to be little jealous. I once ask my mom how deal with jealous person, to me you go up them, ask them why or how come there jealous, my mom say jealous people are usually insecure so don't usually go up them because there to embarrassed to talk about it, so just find out what kind of character they are.
I think you’re different, you admit you envy your friend and want to something about it. You spoke out and it takes courage, and you told yourself that you’re beautiful. I recommend try not blame yourself and maybe work on your self-esteem and tell your best friend, since you know her, I think she might understand. So might easier to let go.

Answer 10

In the end your face will fall to pieces.

She will fade away and so will you.

Look like you want, feel like you want. Get someone who thinks you are prettier who treats you good and in the end, it won't matter who is prettier than you.

You will have it all.