How come women don't want a man with children but expect a man to accept a woman with children?

Question

I am a single father of 5 young children, 1 boy and 4 girls. I have full custofy of them and their mother sees them on her vacations from school (I'm paying for her schooling) My children are well behaved. i get compliments on them. There is a woman at my job who I have been seeing (Friends with benefits). She told me she really likes me but that she won't have a full relationship me because I have 5 children. She has 2 children and is struggling financially to get by. I own my home and earn over 90,000 per year. I left a $150,000 per year CFO job when my marriage broke up(I was working so many hours I didn't see my family) I told her, I would financially take care of her and her kids. She only has to live with me and help me with mine. 3 of my kids are in school. I can easily get another job that will pay me well over 150,000 per year, and with better hours. I know my kids need a woman in their lives. I'm not very nurturing. How do I find a woman who will accept a man with kids.

I've had some people respond that maybe she isn't in to me, or that I'm just looking for a housekeeper. My mother raise 6 boys and 1 girl by herself and taught us how to cook, clean, wash clothes, and braid hair, so I don't need a housekeeper. Also if she is not in to me then she should stop having sex with me. After reading everyone's answers, I've decided to stop dealing with her intimately. I thought I needed a woman to help me raise my daughters. As they get older my daughters may be a little less girlie and a little more tomboy, from just being with me, but they will be strong women. I thank everyone for your answers.

Answer 1

My advice is keep looking. My boyfriend has 3 children and he has custody of them. I have 2 and I have custody of mine as well. The fact is there are women out there that can and will love your children as her own, I am living proof of that.

Answer 2

Some woman don't want the drama of an ex-wife. Who will in one way or another be a small part of your life forever. Maybe just her two kids is to much for her to handle and she is afraid of what will happen when she has seven kids and a man to look after. Maybe she feels in a way that you would own her because you make more money then she does. Do you let other people get on to your kids. I know a few men that would not allow the new wife/mother figure to discipline their children. So the woman has no control over the kids. That would be a big issue for me. Taking care of children telling them mind and getting the "Your not my momma". Maybe she wants a marriage proposal instead of being a live-in.

Answer 3

Back when I was a single mom, and my son was small, yes I would. He so desperately craved that male attention. His father lived out of state and he rarely got to see his dad as a result. For awhile, he went to daycare where I taught preschool. It was heartbreaking to watch him try and "pick up" the dads that would drop off and pick up their children, and then be sad when he couldn't go home with him. I did finally find him a home based daycare that was run by a married couple. He loved going there. Granted it would depend on the type of men running the center. I certainly wouldn't choose one run by so called "manly men" that had no nurturing instinct at all, but I have none a few men in the child care field, and I'd be more than comfortable leaving my son with any of them, as those men that choose this sort of occupation, seem to be well equiped to handle a child's many needs, most importantly, their emotional ones.

Answer 4

Honestly, I would date a guy that had kids.. I love kids, and now a days, nearly everyone has at least one!!!! There are women out there that are willing to commit to a man with children, you just have to find the right one.. Maybe women are a little intimidated that you have 5 kids?? That's a lot to handle, even if they are well behaved!!!! But somewhere out there, there IS a woman that will accept you and your children.. Just wait and see!!

Answer 5

I can understand the woman's concerns. It sounds like your advertising for a live-in house keeper and not a life partner! It seems like you only want her in your life to make yours easier, and not considering her emotional needs, even though you say you'll look after her financially.
A woman wants more than that - she wants to feel needed for herself, and not just for the benefits you (and your kids) might get from the relationship. And you should be grateful she didn't jump at the chance, just for financial reasons. I would say that that is more likely to be the problem here. She wants to know that you love her for herself, and if not (you don't) then leave her alone.

Answer 6

it takes time too find someone. and trust me you do not need anyone right off to take care of your kids.she is looking at the responsibility of all the children that will be there. you told her what you will do for them.give her time. have her and the kids get together and have like a slumber party to see if every one can get along together. and after awhile let nature take its course. good luck. also tell her that is what blended families are about the good with the bad the sugar to make it sweet.

Answer 7

You need to drop her and find someone who is willing to have a relationship with you. There is a chance that she doesn't want a relationship because she's just not into you, but she's just using your kids as an excuse to spare your feelings. Either way, let her go. She has clearly stated that she's not interested in having a relationship with you, and you can't make her change her mind.

Answer 8

I think its easier to find a woman that will accept a man with kids than to find a man to accept a woman with kids. My husband married me and I had five kids already...we now have seven.

There MUST be a way. If she's the one to do it, you'll know.

Answer 9

I guess u just havent found the right person that will accept that.. me personally I have 4 kids.. and I would date a man with that many kids... i love kids.. and if you really love someone youll love their kids also

Answer 10

Which women have you been hanging with?!

IM me. I have 1 child, a good job, and would love to be with a NICE man.