Like I have a 19 year old mentally ill son who quit school and works sometimes for his cousin. But my husband always tells me I have to do something about him. I tell him all the time that he needs to go out and fill out job applications. I even bring them home for him. I told my older son that he had to move out and 3 days later my husband wanted to know if he had found anything yet and what was taking so long. I am starting to think that I will never live up to this man's expectations. That everytime I will accomplish something that he will just be demanding something else. Anyone else deal with this? What advice do you have?
2007-05-27 11:45:50 · 13 answers · asked by Damian S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The next time you see him naked, laugh at his member.
2007-05-27 11:49:04 · answer #1 · answered by Joe Rockhead 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Your son needs to learn about responsibility. He has to learn how to do all that stuff for himself. Talk to his Doctor about it.
Your husband needs to learn that a marriage is a partnership of souls. If he isn't happy with what you are doing, he should be prepared to discuss his ideas and then help you accomplish them (providing you agree with his ideas). Partners help each other, that's how we get through the rough days and how we get to share in the good days.
2007-05-27 11:57:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but your husband is a jerk, he is trying to get you to put him before your children! Your children's needs come first, and if your son has mental problems, he needs his mother's love and support, even if his 19, don't let this man bully you or your children, he is the kind , who will find fault no matter what you do, so just do what is right for you and your sons, you have my sympathy.
2007-05-27 11:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by Kimberly H 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop trying to please him right now. He loves to give orders huh? it makes him feel big to be the 'supervisor' but this is clearly getting on your nerves. He is throwing his weight around but in a physcological way. My husband does that to an extent. Our son just turned 22 and is high functioning autistic, he drives, works. If I proudly tell him something our son did today, he raises his expectations. Tell your husband to handle it himself if it bothers him so much.
2007-05-27 12:07:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I see here is completely opposite of your question. I actually see a father pushing his fatherly to sons responsibilities off on you to do them for him. He is their father right? So its duty to find out the things hes asking of you. Those boys sooner or later are going to look at him as a whimp and afrid to deal with them himself. Those boys need their father whether they like it or not or if he does or doesnt. Tell him that hes their father so go an deal with them like a man. Tell him youre tired of doing his dirty work and being the blame person here. Good luck
2007-05-27 11:56:11 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There is a point, children need to grow up and stop depending on their parents. However, when you have a child with hand caps that isn't true. They have to depend on someone. I say help your hand capped child out as much as possible and if hubby says otherwise, tell him to hit the road.
2007-05-27 11:55:24 · answer #6 · answered by Aumatra 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to take care of it himself if he wants it done faster. The more you nurture and be the caretaker, the more they take advantage of you. Let him give it a shot for a while. Go on a vacation for a week or so and see how they do.
2007-05-27 11:49:31 · answer #7 · answered by nasar5@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you let him be a jerk far too long, You and your son need to put him in his place or show him the door. This is no way to live.
2007-05-27 13:32:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you are trying everything thing you can and that even told him to move and ask him if he has any better suggestions if not to leave u alone.
2007-05-27 11:51:20 · answer #9 · answered by TXgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats bulls#$% if he calls himself your husband then he would be happy to help you and your son if he is so woried then why in the hell isnt he helping!!!!!!!! listen sweetie dont worry about meeting a mans expectations because MOST of them never meet OURS,hes a dog that puts you down to make him feel like a man!! tell him this isnt the color purple!!! stand up 4 your self and be strong!!!
2007-05-27 11:56:34 · answer #10 · answered by ??? 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
yeah...you need to be a strong, confident woman, and stand up for what you know is right for you and your children. If he doesnt respect your children, you need to do whatever it is that's needs to be done in order for you all to be happy....even if that means putting them before him
2007-05-27 11:49:50 · answer #11 · answered by kristina43 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋