I am in love with a man whose 13 years older than me. Its funny cos i feel very strong sexual connection between us, but at the same time i see him as my dad and protector..someone older and wiser, and it turns me on. However this man is still married.. ive known him for 3 years, and at his time he has separated from his wife and is going through his divorce. I dont see myself as homewrecker because he was no longer in love with her and said they grew apart in their marriage. His got 3 kids and their custody. Do you think i should wait for him.. i know he secretly wishes so even when he says he cant expect that. He doesnt really want to spend quality time together yet, before his ready... does it makes sense and what should i do in this situation? I know for sure i dont want to lose him.
2007-05-27 10:30:54 · 20 answers · asked by Kittykat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Im 25.. and i have tryed not to see him and feel for him..but its very hard as i believe we would be great together and i like his children too.
2007-05-27 10:33:39 · update #1
um i think you should stay with him as long as he is geting divorced but i think you guys shouldnt tell the kids about you two until the hole thing cools off alittle =D hope i helped
2007-05-27 10:39:00 · answer #1 · answered by Kayline 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stay away from a married man HONEY...... This man does not want to spend Quality time w/ you ... Whats up w/ that? Is that the love you want? If he secretly wished that wouldn't he show you this ? HELLLLLLLLLOOOOOOO..... If you love him ...go slow b/c he is coming out of a long relationship w/ 3 kids.... R u ready for that? hummmm . Do you know how to be a MOM? HUMMMMMMMM Look at this closely and sort out your feelings as to what your future is w/ this man . u have a tough decision b/c he will need a strong woman to help him w/ the 3 kids . R you up for that? Your relationship will need to be the two of you 1st w/ the kids strapped to both of your belts . This will require patience and time . The benefits will pay off in the end if u do it right. Don't rush it but make sure its what he wants and you make sure U r ready for this......U cannot expect him to be ready right away for the relationship ...thats if he even wants one.... Good LUCK .. you r gonna need it.....
2007-05-27 17:47:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You had better take a cold shower and cool it! If he messes with you in any way shape form or fashion he might lose custody of the three children. You may not be a homewrecker but it certainly sounds like you have been doing everything in your power to break them up. If you get your wish and land him with the three children, it may be the saddest day of your life. Becoming an instant mother to three children is not exactly like The Brady Bunch.
2007-05-27 17:37:53 · answer #3 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wait. If hes going through some things then he needs time. Crowding him or rushing him wont make him feel closer to you. You definitely need to wait on the whole divorce thing too. If he has made it clear that he's not going back then wait for it all to be over.
In the meantime, try to be the source of his relaxation. When all that stuff is weighing on him and he needs a breather, you want to be who he thinks of. So just be supportive, find out the things he likes (sports, favorite food, favorite drink) and let him know that he can come over and watch a game... or that you'll make something for him to eat... etc. Just be there for him and be a comfort. When all that stuff is over, and he's ready youre gonna be one whos been there for him.
2007-05-27 17:37:21 · answer #4 · answered by frankee_77 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that you are in love with him and you think things will work out then wait till his divorce is over. If you feel lust for him then go out to the bar and have a little fun ( but be safe). With lust it will fade faster then you think then he might just be a good friend going through a ruff time. If you are 25 and he is 38 or so. Just wait and take your time. If he is the one you REALLY want to be with then wait till you BOTH are is a place emotionally that is a good place to start. Time will only tell.
2007-05-27 17:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by crasyladygirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is still married an he is not going to get divorced from his wife.He know that you are young and that he can tell you anything that he thinks that you might want to hear.He knows that you will believe any and everything that comes out of his mouth.His kids must be too young to even know what is going on .If in fact he is bringing them around you.Don't be surprised when he has to find a baby sitter so that he & the mrs. can go out and He have you to babysit. Sugar don't be no fool for anybody use the sense that god gave you Find someone in your age group.Cause you are going to get seriously HURT.You are in a DANGEROUS ZONE.
2007-05-28 11:53:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a definite problem. You want to be with this man and not seem like a homewrecker by taking him from is wife. I say wait for him. If he says they have grown apart and are getting a divorce, wait for him. Give it some time.
2007-05-27 17:37:57 · answer #7 · answered by godrugal2002 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to wait first of all for his divorce to finalize. He is still legally married. I wouldn't exactly call you a homewrecker either if they were already seperated when you all began to be interested in each other but give him time. And his children will need time before he begins dating also. Just wait don't mess with a married man it's extremely triffling and whorish!
2007-05-27 17:37:19 · answer #8 · answered by itzbinka07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh dear. Do not do anything with this man until his divorce is final!!! If he told you he is separated, that's just a "code word" for "I'd like to sleep with you a few times before I go back to my wife". You are going to be the one to get hurt. And he told you he was no longer in love with her and that they grew apart--I bet she'd be surprised to hear that.
2007-05-27 17:36:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly? i think you should call it a day. when he say's he can't expect you to wait, i think that probably means he has no intention of getting into a serious relationship yet. can't blame him really. he's just getting out of one. another thing is the fact that you look at him as a father figure. no man wants that. i think he's trying to let you down easy though he should be man enough to just say it. sorry.
2007-05-27 17:37:24 · answer #10 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After 3 years he hasn't gotten a divorce? He probably never will.
2007-05-27 17:35:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋