5 weeks ago i got a phone late at night from my partners ex telling me he had called to her house and told her he loved and missed her. we had been togther for 7yrs and have a fab 5 yr old son. we broke up for a year after he came onto my best friend one night when we were all out togther. we both met and dated someone else but realised we still loved each other. we got back together, i forgave him and we had been blissfully happy ever since and never looked back. so this phone call was like a punch in the guts. he admitted being there, said he was high on ecstasy and would have said those things to a lamp post as he was in such a state. i have been devastated ever since and am getting very depressed. he has phoned me constantly, crying and begging me not to let this mistake ruin our family. but last night i asked him to call in for a chat, but he had already made plans with a mate and didnt want to let him down! so off he went and got pissed again. am i crazy for still wanting him?
2007-05-27 09:29:10 · 13 answers · asked by j c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you need to tell the man that he needs to clean up his act if he is to continue seing you & his child
2007-05-27 09:34:31 · answer #1 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The man needs an in house residential rehab and continued AA meetings before I would let him back into the family.
And you need to go to Al-anon meetings (the sister 12 Step program for the friends and families of addicts) there will be Al-anon in your town. You need to disentangle yourself from the codependency you are in. Al-anon or a similar 12 step program will do that FOR YOU, not so he gets well. You are a part of the problem too. Personal experience tells me these things.
2007-05-27 09:42:42 · answer #2 · answered by thisbrit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
your involved with a drug user
who cheats on you
you do not want to own up to the fact
and you made a mistake.. a HUGE mistake
so what if you have a fab son, that is not reason enough to stay with him
your fab son deserved a better father and break in life than the yo yo of a iffy relationship
grow up and move on
2007-05-27 09:39:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i DON'T THIN K YOU ARE CRAZY. i Think you were blindsided because you thought everything was ok.
I think doing drugs would bother me as much, if not more, than talking to an old flame.
I think you need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk and try to see where you both stand.
Your son deserves you two trying to hash this out.
2007-05-27 09:35:11 · answer #4 · answered by Rhiannon 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He sounds very immature... and irresponsible to be out on drugs when he has a wife and child at home!
I recommend that you both go to marital counseling.
2007-05-27 11:09:39 · answer #5 · answered by Twizzle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you are, for many reasons... the drugs, the fact that he came onto your best friend, and you took him back... and that you asked him to chat and he blew you off, he can't be to concerned with trying to win you back. Move on, to someone who will appreciate you.
2007-05-27 09:37:57 · answer #6 · answered by emtb9 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You aren't crazy. You're in love. But it seems to me this relationship is WAY destructive. Get away from him is my advice. Cease all contact and move on. It will hurt like hell but the sooner you do...the sooner you can start to heal.
Good luck
2007-05-27 09:33:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Put your foot down and tell him that you can be a family again if he will lay down the drugs...seriously...you don't need that with a five year old son.
2007-05-27 09:37:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
not crazy just in love, but being in love with someone does not give him permission to cheat or hurt you.
Ask him if he is committed enough to you to get help for himself, you and the relationship, his answer will let you know if he is one to hang on to or one to let go.
And if he says he wants to get help make sure he follows through.
2007-05-27 09:42:23 · answer #9 · answered by Sherrie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will all ways love him, but let it go stop getting burned.
2007-05-27 13:58:37 · answer #10 · answered by PENNY M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋