I have never wanted him to leave his wife for me as the arrangement suits me as it is. If it wasn't me he was seeing it would be somebody else. My dilema is that I love this guy alot but I also know that one day it has to end, should I make the break now or carry on until one of is forced to. Either way it is going to hurt like hell...
2007-05-27 08:43:23 · 60 answers · asked by kat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes because the relationship is going nowhere.....and if it suited you just fine you would have not asked this question. Five years is a very long time to be with someone and i realize that breaking off with him will not be easy. You have so many emotions and feelings involved here. I don't know why he hasn't divorced his wife? But honestly you know that he needs to and would be the right thing for him to do. I know that people will always say go see a counselor but truthfully you are going to have to. You are going to have to go somewhere to handle all of your feelings and somebody would be more qualified to answer all of them than the people on here. If this man is choosing to stay in his marriage and never come to you...then I believe that you must let him go. If you are free after pulling yourself together than the possibility is there for you to find someone that can give you all the things that you deserve. I will not judge your reasons for being involved with this man I only know that sometimes things just happen to two people. It will be your choice about what you want to do with this relationship and I know that things will be hard on him to..But you also know that going on this way is hurting you both. It takes a lot of energy for someone married to hide it and pull it off for five long years and I know that you understand what I mean. I would talk with someone so that when you do you may find peace with your desicion. Best wishes sweetie.
2007-05-27 09:06:46 · answer #1 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly. Don't worry so much what everyone here thinks. They are all very judgmental and have no idea what is really going on with your arrangement with the married man. People always seem to want to hold this higher moral ground and then when faced with similar situations they aren't so moral any longer. The fact is eventually it may end or maybe not. That decision is between the two of you and no one else. As long as you are not limiting your options by strictly seeing him only, you will probably find someone else and end the arrangement. Granted it will hurt for a while, but you probably knew that when you first started seeing him.
2007-05-27 09:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by kungfufighter2002 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How does the saying go, make a break have a kitkat. Well this guy is obviously having his katkit and eating it.
He's married and been seeing you for 5 years. What does that tell you. It tells me that he is enjoying the extra sex he is gettting. But you say the arrangement suits you. Is this because you don't want a relationship but still want some attention. It sounds to me as though you want more and if that's so then you are going to have to move on, if not then leave things as they are.
2007-05-27 11:04:25 · answer #3 · answered by martin m 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he wasn't seeing you he would be seeing someone else. Oh how many times have I heard in one form or another as an excuse to carry on doing something and not take responsibility for your actions. In the end its up to you what you do. Just remember every choice you make, the results of your actions down the line have to be accepted. What if he did leave his wife and come to you, then if he started seeing someone else, would you still think your quote was acceptable.
2007-05-27 09:04:34 · answer #4 · answered by tempest 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So ...Im reading all the home wrecker comments directed at this lady and Im wondering, ....have you not ever been hit on by a married man? Ok, well..have you ever been hit on by your high school sweetheart that is relentless in the phone calls, visits, he cannot live without you, the phone calls double, the visits double, the money doubles ( YES THEY INSIST) ...he tells you all the things you want to hear, helps you do all the things he should be helping his wife do .....every situation is different, every man and woman are different and different circumstances bring you together sometimes but walking away is NOT as easy as all of you make it sound.. walk a mile in someones shoes before you slang your advice ...KARMA just might bring you a dose
2015-11-11 14:18:12 · answer #5 · answered by Vicki Cook 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shame on you. Do you like being the 'other woman'?
Now that the damage is done, you can break it off now and get a man that will only be interested in you.
I'm sure it's easy to like married men, but they ARE off limits.
You would not like to be the wife in that situation, so don't do it to others.
Besides, if you end it now, it'll hurt less than if it goes on for 10 years and you break up then.
2007-05-27 09:03:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe how easily you say this, where are your morals. Find your own man, not someone else's. After 5 years it would not matter if you wanted him to leave his wife, I would say if he was going to do it he would have done it by now. He has his cake and eat it too, he is losing nothing. Don't you ever want your own man and a family? I hope you think real hard about what you are doing and how wrong it is.
2007-05-27 13:09:31 · answer #7 · answered by tannerlady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this relationship appears to be okay to u as it may be that your afraid of commitment, or u have convinced yourself that your happy with the situation because deep down you know he won't leave his wife for u. Has he got children have u thought of the effect it would have on them and his wife if the affair was found out. apart from that i think the guys an arsehole and deserves to be found out. If it wasn't u it be somebody else! do u really want to be the other woman and how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
2007-05-27 10:01:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think sooner rather than later if your just prolonging the inevitable!!
5 years is a long time and it will be hard and will hurt but I think by asking the question you've already made up your mind and want reassurance.
Everything will be OK, time is a healer and I'm sure you'll find love and happiness soon enough - just don't go looking for it!!
All the best xx
2007-05-27 08:51:38 · answer #9 · answered by Gail 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you have to read this but..
YOU SHOULD BREAK IT OFF WITH HIM. And even though I'm only a teenager, I know better. Never get involved with a married man no matter how attracted you are to him. Its just going to backfire at you in the end. And, did you ever think about the family that you are breaking up? What about the kids? They will grow up without at father and you will be responsible for that. How will you be able to live with yourslef??
2007-05-27 08:52:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋