Why do people go out of their way to make others feel bad about themselves?

Answer 1

You can put that down to what is simply called malice - it is the stance taken by a malevolent person in that their pleasure is in seeing another hurt.




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Answer 2

First of all Kathy, your daugher-in-law isn't "mean," she's a Borderline Personality, or some type of sociopath without a conscience, and a very toxic one at that. I'm sorry she has torn your family asunder. I hope she doesn't hurt your son or pass her pathology down to your grandchildren either genetically or environmentally.

I think people who are "mean" are insecure, while simultaneously having delusions that they are "more powerful" and "better" than that person. It's a form of Meglomania, that obsession with one's own power, particularly on the lives of others.

"Meaness" seems to be also a pre-emptive strike against competition, as well. If you sting and injure everyone
who may be better or smarter than you, they're more likely to keep a distance, etc.

The best practitioners of "mean" flourished in a residential treatment facility I used to work for in Virginia. I took the job right out of college, and was warned that it was "skirt run."
During those 10 years as an admissions administrator, nothing could have prepared me for the shenanigans and down right mysanthropism that I experienced there.

Vicious, gossiping, marginalizing mavens actually helped me understand that some human beings are inherently evil. Forget Hitler! The hell with Stalin! Let's just go to the Monday Admissions Review Committee meeting! Even now, a whole lifetime later, I still feel ill and angry when I met one in the grocery story or on the street.

The thing that is interesting is that the vast majority of these people either committed "Social suicide" to the point that people would say they were "crazy-steer clear," or their mysanthropism would finally cost them their career via reprimands, dismissals, and lawsuits, etc.

Answer 3

It is because the people who put others down feel insecure about themselves. By pointing out others faults they try to make theirs seem smaller. What they end up doing is feeling worse about themselves in the end.

Answer 4

Because they feel bad about themselves! If only people could learn to deal with their problems without bringing others down.

Answer 5

Because they are insecure themselves, and like to play with other peoples feelings. They like to feel as though they are controlling others. I am not a person that likes to cause trouble, but I know of ones that does. I have a daughter in law that started causing problems right after she married my son. I tried to include her in the family and do things with her, and she just criticized me and nothing I said or did was as good as her. She also was very cold to my daughter, and that hurt us as well. Finally she made my son choose her or us. For his kids sake, he chose her over us. We are not allowed to see our grand kids that are hers and my sons either. She had two husbands before my son, and two other sons by them! She was cheating on her second husband with my son! I'm through with the whole situation. I don't like to fight or cause problems. I told her what I thought one day two years ago after I had my fill, and that's been pretty much the end of everything. I think its better just not to deal with people that try to make our lives miserable, so they are happy.

Answer 6

Jealousy and insecurity. I talk about this on posts quite often, and it's the second time this morning I'm posting a similar debate. People find out I model and suddenly there are rumours of me sleeping around, getting 5 cosmetic procedures on my face (I have implants and will readily admit that to anyone, but that's all) and being a shallow person. I volunteer for two places while working three jobs as well as contribute a high percentage of my income to reputable charities, yet I am seen as being a stupid slutty bimbo because photographers take pictures of me. That's it, that's all there is to it folks. A photographer contacts me because he thinks I am aesthetically pretty enough to photograph, and I go there and do my job just like I do any other job, just like you go to work and do your job, and I leave and go home and make dinner and roll around on the front yard in the dirt playing with my dog, just like any other person. When I go out though, I do dress myself up and make sure I'm presentable everyday, that's my own choice. People go out of their way often to tell me about how degrading modelling is, and pageants, and that I'm conforming to society by getting implants. By the way, I got them because I like big boobs I think they are womanly, my partner doesn't overly like them but I got them for ME and he supported my decision and stood by me like always. I used to care a lot about making sure people knew I was a good person, and now I guess I'm pretty relaxed about it. I'm not defiant in an "in your face" kind of way, I just really don't have time to listen to negativity in my life. Star for this question, cheers!

Answer 7

Usually because they are insecure about who they are and want to bring other people down to their perceived level of themselves. People that are usually secure don't need to make others feel bad.

Answer 8

For me it's generally when that person feels hurt by something I did, whether intentional or not, and wants to repay the favor. I'll never be able to relate with that mindset. Some people never grow up, man.

Answer 9

I believe it is because the spirit in that person... knows the other is of a different level.... so they feel afraid of that person....but they wont admit that at all. [The observer makes the abservee feel ashamed of themselves] Ha Ha Ha.

Answer 10

Do they???????????? Or perhaps you should modify your assertion to read *some people* rather than the generalization of *people*. I have been in the people business for my entire carreer. I can think of no premise onto which I could ascribe * people * in any circumstance except generalization. Generalization is obfuscation.


Cecil Wingo