Okay, women out there who've chosen to definitely never have kids: why are we made to feel horrible about our decisions? having the title of "woman" is not synonymous with "childbreeder"...so when people hear us say we don't ever want kids or plan to have kids...we get criticized, judged, attacked...WHY?!?!
i mean, no disrespect to mothers out there (god knows i adore my mom), but it's a life choice i've made for myself. isn't it more responsible and respectable to admit that you are not capable or willing or just plain DO NOT WANT KIDS!!!
please, girls, shed some light on why then do i feel a bit bad myself, all those haters have really put a toll on my mindset (but they haven't changed it, lol).
and also...r there men out there who can be completely happy with a woman who chooses never to marry or have kids? i mean, a long-term, committed relationship and a bunch of dogs will fill those "voids" for me....but r there men out there who respect that and also agree with it?
2007-05-27 05:40:08 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's your choice. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I know it's hard to be judged but don't let it get to you.
2007-05-27 05:43:24 · answer #1 · answered by the Boss 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I made the decision not to have kids but I have yet to encounter hostility when declaring my opinion. ..well unless I phrase it crudely like "I hate kids!" which I've been guilty of once or twice. My family has always been very supportive. The worst reaction I get is someone with kids laughing off my stance and saying how I will change my mind. Frankly I find that rather insulting. I think if women with kids are hostile toward women without children, it's because they feel that by choosing not to have children you are disparaging the importance of their role as mothers.
My husband completely supports my decision and always has. So it is definitely possible to have a long term successful relationship with someone who doesn't want children either, just be up front about your decision when meeting prospective men.
2007-05-27 05:55:29 · answer #2 · answered by Elizabeth N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason why you get attacked is the majority does not understand the choice. Those of us who want children look to the future when we are older. We look to have family when we are aged and need aide. There is nothing wrong with the decision not to have children. One of my friends decided at 20 she never wanted children because she didn't want to give up her independence. She said I am too selfish to be a mother. If more people would sit and think about this before they start having sex this country would have less unwanted children in it. I respect a person who admits they could not handle the responsibility. I respect the honesty of my friend with herself. She is a caring person and loves children. She knows she would resent a child taking away a lot of her freedom while they are real young. I have 3 sons. I am glad I have them. I don't resent them nor do I miss my singleness. Don't let anyone bug you about your choice. You made a mature decision.
2007-05-27 05:48:30 · answer #3 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am very happy to be a father, but I have no problem with people who choose to not be a parent. Parenthood is a long, hard, frustrating, expensive road, and it's not for everyone. I often see people who I think should have never had kids. And I know some who have tried desperately, and deserved kids, but never did.
This is a very personal decision, and you should make it carefully. If you're happy with your choice, nobody else should have the right to second-guess you. And if someone persists in asking you why you don't have kids, stare at them with a wild-eyed glare, and say you didn't want to risk passing on your family's history of homicidal insanity.
2007-05-27 05:47:26 · answer #4 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you have to do whats right for you, and you shouldn't feel bad for thinking about what is in your best interest now or in the future, just because you're a woman doesn't mean you have to have kids to be fulfilled or to fill a void because of what society says is the right thing to do after you hit a certain age, having children is a life changing decision and some people are ready and want it and others dont, but you shouldnt be condemned for not wanting them you have to do what is best for you and don't worry about what other people think....
2007-05-27 16:43:04 · answer #5 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The people who "attack" you about your life choice are probably either jealous or "funny-mental-ist" and do not have a thinking mind of their own.
Having a child, or more, today is very expensive in: money, time, body condition, spirit of living and emotional. The child(ren) see this strain and stress and they could be damaged throughout their lives.
Keep on thinking the way you are it is your life. If I had a long-term and committed/compatible relationship, and her not wanting children, I would get married in a second. I already have the bunch of dogs.
2007-05-27 05:50:51 · answer #6 · answered by Natural Medicine Man 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Based on old beliefs, it's an idea that is going to take a while to get rid of. It's 2007 and still some people believe that all women are meant to do is stay home, not work, cook, clean, and have babies. This horridly wrong. People are ignorant, plain and simple. Children aren't the fun and games society makes them out to be. And yes, there are men who don't mind. I know someone that told their future wife on their first date that he never wanted children. It's fine. You're an independent woman who is more than welcome to her freedom. Take everyone elses opinion, and just throw them in the trash.
2007-05-27 05:45:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
YES you are so right. I have made the choice to have kids later in life when im ready nd all that jazz but if you dont feel like you could take care of a child as well as you know and would want it is the most responsible thing to make that choice! cause we all see too many irresponsible parents out there.
2007-05-27 05:43:28 · answer #8 · answered by erin44213 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
'Childbearer' is probably a gentler term....hee,hee. Being a mom was never on my list either....it dosen't define womanhood. You don't have to have children to have a full and complete life. It may sound funny, but I know that babysitting up to 8-10 kids by myself when I was 14 was a big factor in my decision. I'm 57 and have never regretted my decision.....hubby has two great boys and he's never considered me less of a woman for not having any.
2007-05-27 05:58:07 · answer #9 · answered by putzer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a loving mom of two who applauds n respects women who choose not 2 have kids. Be yourself. It's not like we're having an underpopulation crisis. There is a real prejudice against women for choosing not 2 have kids, but my aunt has 11 and people think that's ok?!
2007-05-27 05:51:12 · answer #10 · answered by Jynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not feel bad about yourself in anyway, hon. We are all different, and judging someone on their decision is just like racism. It's nothing they can judge. I am just a preteen, but I have already decided that I don't want to have kids, but rather I want to adopt. Some people are like, "why?" But think of all the other advantages in your decision, like you'll never have to worry about stretch marks and your body will always have a pretty nice figure, compared to the others who have decided to have 15 kids.
2007-05-27 05:45:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋