Pregnancy is not a joke!?

Question

How can I resolve this situation peacefully?

My boyfriend of 8 years comes from a rich family, and never had a real job in his life.
Now I am pregnant and I think if I had a little support from him, I could make it. He has one year of college left, because he is taking his time! I want him to finish school, but he can get at least a part time job.
My boyfriend thinks I am joking and he is dragging me to Planned Parenthood.
I am working full-time and I promised him to work as long as I physically can. I do not even ask him to marry me!
His reasons are typical: You are ruining my life, my father did not have a job until he was 30, my parents don't want me to have a job, you are selfish...

I understand him, I am scared too, but somehow getting an abortion, because my partner is lazy seems ridiculous to me!

Thanks, I am glad a lot of people think like I do. Going to court will be my last resort.

The funniest thing that he was a great boyfriend until this happened! People do and say strange things when their comfort zone is threatened!
Hope he comes around!

Answer 1

I would say do what you want. My sons father was the same way. He was 20 and a freshman in college when I got pregnant and I was a junior in highschool. He told me to have an abortion, he even went to far as to tell me if I had the baby he would never tell his family it was his. He also had never had a job in his life and he wasnt passing his classes anyway. I went ahead and had my son but first I called his mother myself and told her I was pregnant. She let him know what he was going to do. I worked several jobs and finished highschool and eventually his father stepped up. He wasnt around when my son was born, saw him once at 7 weeks when I flew my son accross the country and then insisted he was going back to school to play football. He eventuallly ended up dropping out of college and we actually moved into our own place shortly after my sons first birthday. My sons now 2 1/2 and I'm pregnant again. We still live together and he works full time, he fits all of his work hours into 3 days every week and stays home with our son most of the rest of he week. I handle all of the finances so the bills get paid etc and he's still a little immature in some areas but he's a lot better. So they can change.

Answer 2

Darling' you are in a spot but do not fool yourself. The life of your child is in your hands only. You obviously do not want to end the life of your child... so don't. Leave the child's father. Work as long as you physically can. Then go to The Department of Human Services to get the support he owes you. I have been there done that and can tell you I love my son. He is 15 years old now and NOT ONCE have I regretted my decision. If you choose your boyfriends way you will live with guilt and regret for a choice he made you make. Good luck. I'll pray for you and your child.

Answer 3

Abortion definity isn't the right choice. If he won't get his act together, leave him. Because honestly, he won't make a good dad or a good boyfiend if he is so selfish. Sue him for child support and give that baby all your love. You deserve better. You mentioned what a hard worker you are etc. and that makes me think you will never be very happy with a lazy man. Relationships are based on mutual respect and you won't be able to respect someone like that.

Answer 4

Don't let anyone push you into making a decision you are not comfortable with. You are the one who is going to have to deal with whatever choice you make for the rest of your life. If this pregnancy is something you want and can handle you should continue with it. If you you don't want to have an abortion but don't feel like you can raise a child there is always adoption. Abortion is always an option but don't get one simply because your boyfriend is lazy. It is possible to raise a child on your own. If you choose to have this baby on your own he wil still have responsibilities to the child even if it is just financial. It takes two to tango and I doubt you got yourself pregnant. Good luck and remember to think whatever decision you make through carefully. You will live with your choice for the rest of your life.

Answer 5

Dont get an abortion just because he doesnt want to get a job.. He needs to grow up and start taking responability... It sounds to me like he is the one being selfish not you. As for his parents not wanting him to get a job that is the stupidist thing I have ever heard of in my life.. Unless they plan on supporting him his whole life he has to get a job.. Take him with you to the first ultrasound if you have not had one yet, and have him watch the screen. Maybe if he sees his child he will realize that it is time to grow up, and be responsible... I wish you Best of Luck.. If you have to do it on your own so be it.. This is your miracle and nobody has a right to take it from you....

Answer 6

It sounds like you are doing everything you can, but he is too immature to be responsible about this.
If you want this child, don't even consider an abortion - lots of women have successfully raised children as a single parent & with the support of friends & family, you can too.
It's obvious that he's not planning on growing up any time soon, even in the face of fatherhood. You'll probably have to rely on your family for help if that is an option, & later go for child support.
Seeing his reaction to this, I hope you're not planning on continuing your relationship with him. Any man who would not support his child or child-to-be is not worthy of your companionship.
Keep your head up, there are lots of resources out there to help you make it on your own.
I wish you & your child all the best.

Answer 7

are you serious? what do you mean you understand him? he is an *** and an idiot and selfish. did you really spend 8 years with a guy that will not even consider your opinion when he obviously made a choice to do everything required to get you pregnant? have the baby and MAKE his rich family pay! do not abort that child for him. do not let him near that baby. his reasons are insulting. i can't imagine what your self-esteem is like if you actually listen to that s**t! if you are to be a mother, you need to realize that you need to be a good role model and NEVER let anyone treat your child like that! good luck!

Answer 8

Your partner isn't supporting you at all. It sounds as if this is just a major inconvenience in his life. I would leave him and try to collect child support. At this point though, if he doesn't work you won't get any.

Don't get an abortion just because of him. He sounds like a selfish pig.

Answer 9

He has no legal or moral right to ask you to have an abortion. Nor can he MAKE you do it. He does indeed sound selfish and EXTREMELY immature. Pregnancy IS no joke you are absolutely correct in that. You need to make preparations to care for this baby alone and do what you need legally to get the support he owes HIS child. If nothing else, just in case!

Answer 10

From your description, he sounds a little immature to be fathering a child. In his defense, you don't get to change someone else's dreams, college aspirations, or lifestyle because it suits your new plan. That has to be his own decision. If your proding doesn't help, then your only recourse is to sue him for child support. The judge will determine how much he needs to provide. It is then up to him to decide how he is going to provide the funds.