My wife has a medical conditon that has made sex virtuallyimpossible for about 3 years. While she is taking steps to resolve this, I have recently come to the realization it will be years before this condition is resolved to the point where she is healthy enough to have sex. Unfortunatley most contact hurts her, so she can't even really cuddle or otherwise be intimate. I am a young (31) year old man, and while I do still love her this extended time without sex or intimacy is really wearing on our relationship. Yes I read the other issues that are posted, but most seemed to approach the problem from a standpoint of finding out what is wrong and fixing it.
We have a very good idea what is wrong, and it will eventually be fixed (I hope) by a surgery we are waiting for the insurance to approve. If this does not happen I really don't know what to do to support her and still feel like we have a relationship. Any Suggestions?
2007-05-27 01:34:42 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, if you are truly committed to your wife and living up to your vows, then you will need to be strong and stick with her through this. while it sometimes does not seem like it, sex is not everything but is important. talk about it. perhaps there are other ways to get pleasure with her help.
2007-05-27 02:58:53 · answer #1 · answered by Mon-chu' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it can. It might be harder, but it can survive. There is so much more to the marriage than just the physical. The knowledge that the lack of sex isn't because of lack of desire or love, but because of a medical problem, makes it more acceptable. And the issue can and will be resolved very shortly. If possible, try to exchange physical/emotional love in a way that doesn't hurt, this also helps. And look forward to the day when you can get it back together, that event will be explosive !!!
2007-05-27 02:50:08 · answer #2 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A marriage can survive without sex. It certainly makes it harder, and adds a lot of extra tension. But unless your entire relationship was based on sex the other aspects of your marriage should remain intact. And if your marriage was based completely on sex you probably never should have married.
Good luck and just remember you love her when you get frustrated.
2007-05-27 01:41:01 · answer #3 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think an understanding is in order. I just dont think that its realistic to think a relationship can survive long term without sex. Since this is your situation, I would suggest sitting down with her and discussing it out fully because two heads are better than one on something like this.
2007-05-27 01:39:55 · answer #4 · answered by boomerang3que 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is more than sex if it was just that we would be just like animals mating and then moving off with the herd.
You are supposed to find other things from religious faith, hobbies, books, politics, the list is endless to do and talk about. Your supposed to be a team and you need to find other ways of expressing your love and devotion. If you cannot figure this out together then you might want to go to counseling.
2007-05-27 01:40:01 · answer #5 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
When you guys married, you married for better of for worse. I wonder how your wife would react if you were in her shoes. My suggestion is make things playful. Strip for her to watch or pleasure yourself in front of her. I know its not sex, but trust me, she's feeling it also. I hope you guys find out what to do and that your surgery gets approved. Good luck man :(
2007-05-27 01:43:30 · answer #6 · answered by 1anOnly 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
What about foreplay? Would she mind taking care of you? Maybe you can ask her to take care of you. I know its not sex but its something. Also there are sex toys out there for men. Pumps, faux holes, etc...Those are always an option. You made vows...dont break them to her, stick by her. Sending you peace and love.
2007-05-27 01:39:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
well yes ur relationship can servive wothout sex because you guys are in love right then whats more important is that you love each other right so if u love her a bit more then it will work
2007-05-27 01:50:17 · answer #8 · answered by Bambie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she loves you and you love her, then the answer is yes. Does that mean she cannot touch you? if she can with her hands or lips... there maybe some temporary solutions until she has the surgery... I hope the best for you.
2007-05-27 01:41:11 · answer #9 · answered by rudy c 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
did you make vows when you married? if you did, you need to stick with them...in sickness and in health...
i feel really bad for you, but, you should do whatever you would want her to do if the roles were reversed
good luck
2007-05-27 05:34:22 · answer #10 · answered by uranus2mars 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋