what sort of household tasks would you say is expected of guests? My 2 daughters, husband and I spent a month with my sister-in law and her 15 year old son recently (not by choice, our house was being rebuilt). In that time she worked 9-5 so we would clear the breakfast dishes, hoover the house every other day, clear her dog's poop up, entertain her son in the afternoons, cook dinner, clear up after dinner and tried our best to keep our things clear. She had a huge problem with us as though we didn't do enough for her. I know this sounds pedantic, but in your opinion, would you expect a house guest to do more involved things - she wanted us to do some painting for her and we refused - we had a toddler on the loose which would hamper that and also were job hunting at the time and in and out all day? Were we being selfish?
2007-05-27 01:20:21 · 14 answers · asked by Nikita 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We did contribute financially, we bought the groceries every week.
2007-05-27 12:01:06 · update #1
I do feel guilty over that painting. I think if it had been asked (instead of demanded and our bedroom doors removed before we even got there) we would have been happy to have someone mind our toddler one afternoon and help her out. Guess its possibly just down to a personality clash and misunderstanding there.
2007-05-27 23:17:11 · update #2
When a guest is in my home they are a guest, I don't expect them to do anything. No way were you being selfish at all. It's always nice to help out if your staying at someones house but you shouldn't become their maid!!!!!!
2007-05-27 01:24:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
ABSOLUTELY not!
I think you were the perfect guests. I've had visitors over who, in addition to inviting themselves over, still expected us to carry them financially, and didn't do a a damn thing to help around the house! And after they left, hardly herad anything from them, whereas befor eit had been sms and calls without end... I think it's normal though, if you are living in such conditions for a longer period of time to get under each other's feet a bit. But if you did all those thinsg for her, I don'T see why she had a problem. Could it be that she was expecting a financial contribution for staying in her home for so long? Was this even discussed? I find this topic seems to cause the most friction.
2007-05-27 02:35:24 · answer #2 · answered by Snake Eyes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you basically did everything already. You took care of all the daily chores really, so why should you be responsible for painting this woman's house? Now, if you wanted to go back and help with the painting after you're all settled in your own home that would be up to you. But you should not feel unnecessarily obliged to this woman. To me it sounds like she was trying to take advantage of the situation and get some extra work out of you. Besides, if you were cooking dinner and cleaning up after every day, she probably had lots of extra time to paint if she really wanted to.
2007-05-27 01:28:34 · answer #3 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Too right.
Can you come to my place? I,ll have you.
I think you contributed enough !!
I can understand your toddler thing,and yes he would need a lot of supervision,so it was a very fair refusal.
I would think i,d be feeling guilty you just doing what you did,so no don't feel guilty about it.
If your still worried about it ask if you were too much trouble for her,and see what her reaction is.
Hope your house is rebuilt quick! U,ll need it soon.
2007-05-29 07:03:16 · answer #4 · answered by david c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like the perfect house guest to me. Any guests I have had have treated my house like a hotel, not even lifting a plate to take to dishwasher. You did more than your fair share of household chores. It must have been really nice coming home to a meal every night. It sounds like she was just trying to point out to you that she had done you a huge favour and that you still owed her. She probably resented that you got to spend more time in her house than you did. Walk away with head held high, she did do you a favour and you appreciated it. Its never easy staying with or having someone staying in your home.
2007-05-27 02:21:28 · answer #5 · answered by goobygum 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are pedantic at all ... I think you are ingrates. Your sis-in-law works 9-5, sounds like she's a single-mom, has all of you underfoot, is saving you the cost of a motel for the time your house was being built, etc. Depending on what the paint job was . .. I think you could have worked it in.
2007-05-27 06:09:05 · answer #6 · answered by Skully 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I cannot believe you did as much as you did! I don't even do that much when I stay with the in-laws! lol! But seriously, you did more than enough and I think she took the mickey by expecting you do to her painting as well! Lazy so and so, she should be grateful you were so nice whilst living with her.
2007-05-27 07:18:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
during our married life, for one reason or another we have had my brother in laws living with us for months at a time. the truth is, that whilst, we tried to make them welcome, and they tried to be good guests, we did not want them there and they did not want to be there. they were infringing upon our personal space and despite our best efforts they could sense it. i say this because i am of the opinion that it wouldn't matter what you did, and it wouldn't matter how much your sister in law wants to make you welcome, it just doesn't work. don't take it personally, its just one of those things
2007-05-28 19:44:02 · answer #8 · answered by fat momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She was looking for a free painter.
What you did was fine, don't worry about it. In laws can be a pain in the ***, sometimes no matter what you do, it will never be enough.
2007-05-27 01:55:10 · answer #9 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This family puts up two adults and two kids for a month!!!!!!!!
But when they ask for a bit of painting to be done it's too much trouble?????
Sounds a bit selfish to me......sorry but you did ask.
.
2007-05-27 02:29:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋