my husband is a right nasty piece of work,he drinks constantly today he went to work came home at 11 went straight to bed was suppose to go do my shopping instead got & said f you & your shopping & went to the pub,he doesnt bother the 2 kids.pinned me against a wall toddler went crazy he then just walked out & drove to the pub should i put lock on door & leave him out,the flat belongs to me
2007-05-27 01:17:11 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you should start planning an exit from this poison marriage right now. do not let him know. start saving money and have a plan of where, when and how. you must get away from this guy.
2007-05-27 03:21:39 · answer #1 · answered by Mon-chu' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you say, he is simply trying to bully you to get exactly what he wants. There has to be give and take in all relationships but you have tried to compromise in several ways and he is not even prepared to meet you half way. It sounds like you have your head screwed on while he is still needing to grow up a bit. You're trying to do what's best for your family's future by working hard and getting your own home/ financial security. I agree you should not go back to Oz if you hated it that much-you will only end up miserable and it sounds like you made your feelings clear about this from the very start of your relationship. I'm inclined to think that your idea of moving into your own place for a while is a good one. It doesn't have to be a permanent break and he'd still be able to see his children but it may be enough for him to realise just how serious you are about what you want. When he realises you are prepared to be independent and cope without him he'll maybe also realise that his threats of leaving you at any second don't hold as much weight as he thinks. This may be tough, especially financially, but at least you won't feel so trapped by his behaviour. Stay strong and good luck!
2016-03-13 00:22:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give this man an ultimatum, stop drinking, go to AA, get counselling, or You will divorce Him, Mental cruelty is just as bad as if He beat You, if not worse. He will probably not change on His own, don't wait until You just can't stand the sight of Him, because then it will be too late to save Your marriage.
EDIT; Pretty much all of the people that have answers for Your question are on the same page, except for the one with the pentagram (figures), it does this old mans heart good to see that many people, still care about others, and are worried for Your safety. Good luck to You in the future.
2007-05-27 01:29:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you already know your answer. This is not going to improve suddenly. I don't think locking him out will work too well though. It's still his residence and he'll certainly feel entitled to enter his own home. I think you'd be better off to move yourself out. That way, when it happens he can't just kick in the door and beat you up for locking him out.
I wish you well.
2007-05-27 01:22:55 · answer #4 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would but I would call police first. You and the children do not need to put up with the abuse. I to lived with an alcoholic and it was a life of hell. I got out. My kids saw a lot of things they shouldn't of. Mental Abuse which he is doing to the kids and you is not acceptable in this day and age.
2007-05-27 01:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by landkm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You MUST protect yourself and your children from a man like this.
He is not respecting you and cherishing you. All of his drinking and the times he is drunk is the time he should be around working with you to make a marriage work. He is not there for you or your children. Make him leave.
Even if he never physically does anything with your children they will be emotionally traumatized.
2007-05-27 05:00:18 · answer #6 · answered by Twizzle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2007-05-27 01:21:37 · answer #7 · answered by timcote7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing to do is call the police. You or your kids don't deserve a life like this. If you put locks on the door he will probably break the door down. Next thing, he will probably hurt you or the kids.
2007-05-27 01:29:54 · answer #8 · answered by Joe S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You certainly dont have to put up with that sort of treatment,
put his clothes in a bin sack outside your door lock the doors
and let the police know what you have done good luck,
2007-05-27 01:23:47 · answer #9 · answered by mickjack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should he is an alcoholic and he needs to get some help dont just let this slide he is phisically and mentally bringing you down dont let this happen to you and your family stand up and show him you mean bussiness tell him to get help you owe this to your children. Dont let him return until his problem is resolved. GOOD LUCK
2007-05-27 01:26:16 · answer #10 · answered by John T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋