We have been together for almost three and a half years, and have in the past had an ok sex life. We are both still madly in love and often kiss and touch eachother. Neather of us have changed, and I'm slim and attractive. He even tells me that I am attractive and sexy all the time. We are both college students in our early twenties, so have a lot of stress, but not much more than what we had a couple of years ago. He says that he regularly "helps himself," so I know that he is capable. I know that he is not cheating on me, so my question is: How do I get him to have more sex with me, take inisitive sometimes, and be more in the mood? I really try hard to put him in the mood, but nothing seems to work. I feel like I am always initiating any kind of sex or foreplay, and I am almost always turned down, or not taken seriously. I want to give up with this whole sex thing, but it is seriously bothering me. We only have sex about once a month. Can anyone help?
2007-05-26 17:44:58 · 10 answers · asked by Miss frustrated 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He needs to stop "helping himself". Why go through all the time and energy to actually share the intimacy with someone when he can just take care of HIS OWN needs in such a quick and efficient manner?
Many men (and probably women, too) actually prefer masturbation over normal sexual release. I don't know why. But, I know that counseling is usually required for them to change this.
Maybe you could "help" yourself, with him watching. It might turn him on enough to make him realize that sex isn't supposed to be a game of solitaire.
2007-05-26 17:52:02 · answer #1 · answered by frankiquilts 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take it from a guy - once we get the goods, we become less attracted to the girl because we've been there before. Especially when you're young and in college.
Don't take it personally - it's just how males are genetically programmed: The more women you mate with, the more likely you will have more offspring, which is the whole point of mating. From a biological perspective, that is.
From a realistic perspective, you've got to try to tap into his wild side, and perhaps explore yours as well. Find out the "freaky" things that turn him on, and see if you're willing to explore new things yourself. That's the best way to keep sex "new" and exciting for both people.
Good luck!
2007-05-27 00:54:18 · answer #2 · answered by Wannabe Med Student 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well if your pretty, and willing, and trying to get him in the mood thats a tough one. Most guys dont need much more than that. I know that after you have been in a relationship for a while the need for sex does diminish somewhat. Is there something new that you can try with him, so it's not the 'regular' that you two get up to. does he have any fantasies that you can help fullfill? stress can be a really killer, but once a month seems a little odd. Try talking to him directly about it and see what transpires.
Nate
2007-05-27 00:53:43 · answer #3 · answered by nate.w 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, that sucks...my boyfriend and I are also in our early twenties and we have been together over 4 years but our sex life is just as awesome, if not better, than the day we first made love. Sex is an important factor in a relationship and he needs to satisfy you...maybe ask him not to relieve himself anymore that way he is super horny when he sees you and he won't be able to keep his hands off of you!
2007-05-27 01:00:57 · answer #4 · answered by Isabella's Mommy Expecting #2 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is something wrong with this guy. Loose him now and find a real man that takes care of business. A hard man is good to find! One suggestion is to buy some sweet sexy little
bedtime outfit. Shave yourself up down there and put on your outfit and attack him. Go down on him and then climb on top and ride him like a cowgirl until you both are happy. Good luck!
2007-05-27 00:54:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i'd talk to him about it some ppl disagree but i think sex is a very important factor in a relationship and it shouldnt be taken lightly :) if he doesnt change and leaving him isnt an option then i suggest investing in a toy and maybe using it in front of him and maybe he will get the picture he should want to satisfy you...good luck
2007-05-27 00:49:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe if you toy with him about the idea of a threesome. Anything that's just crazy, something you would never ever do with anybody else. You could get him drunk and have your way with him.
In all seriousness, maybe he's going through some "stuff" and is probably a little bit confused right now.
2007-05-27 00:53:18 · answer #7 · answered by tubasrule_07 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Spice things up a little (at a time). Don't initiate it Just flat out tell him you wanna do it. Toys are fun and they do bring alot of excitement into a relationship.
2007-05-27 01:04:34 · answer #8 · answered by raspberrysmell 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
just tell him lets have sex, i can't believe a guy doesn't want to have sex with his girl even though his girl wants to, you should see what's wrong with him cause you're now young but when you guys start a family you won't get to have sex as much so i would suggest you tell him that now is the best time.
2007-05-27 01:03:11 · answer #9 · answered by Logan 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you really are a sl*t
2007-05-27 00:50:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋