is it too late please help? have i lost control?

Question

my fiance and i are currently living with my parents we are remodling our home my mom i love her so much but she steps in every time i go to discipline my kids i cant get them to go to bed by themselves because she always goes and lays down with them she yells and swears at them all the time but when i raise my voice she accuses me of being a bad mom my kids are becoming smartmouths they dont want to do chores around the house because she says they are too little they are 8,6,&4 years old we will be moving in approx. a month and a half i have been living there for 2 and 1/2 years my future hubby just moved in in march he sees it am i going to be too late to take control

Answer 1

Its never to late. They are still at a very young age, and one more month after 21/2 years is not going to do anymore damage than has already been done. When you get into your new home sit down with the entire family let everyone know what is expected of them and what they can expect from you and your new hubby. Stick to the rules, be respectful but firm, don't be afraid to be their mom and not their friend. Have routines and always follow through with whatever you say. "If you do that one more time" 20x's never helped anyone. I know it will be hard but it wil work. I went through this with my daughter when I decided to go back to work. One day I realize my little girl was being raised by everyone but me, teachers, father, grandparents, and sitters. My daughter was horrible to be around. Everyone bribed her to do things and let her get away with murder. I felt like I didn't even recognize my own child. I got lucky and was able to return to being a housewife and though I woulds never fix her, but I did. She is a whole new girl, respectful, polite, and lovely. She is still a little jokester, but the way little girls are supposed to be. Good luck. Just remember consistency, consistency, consistency.

Answer 2

No, it's not too late. Just hang in there for the next month and a half, you're almost there!

As soon as you move in to your new home, you and your fiance should make your expectations of the children clear. Have a family meeting or something. Agree there will be no profanity in the house and let everyone know in advance what the consequences will be (make sure the grown ups don't use it either!).

Here's a great program for kids and chores: http://www.myrewardboard.com/index.html. It's a $20 download and I've recommended it to clients and their kids love it!

Have optimism. Use positive language. It's never too late (well, maybe when they're in their mid to late teens, but there are things you can do even then). You sound like a good daughter and a good mom!

Answer 3

To be blunt and to the point. You need to tell your mom to butt out because they are your children.. And no your not a bad mom. It seems to me like your doing the best you can to provide for your family. If its that much of an issue rent an apartment to get out the the situation. It's going to be hard but kids can adjust. Good luck, I had the same situation a few years ago so i can see where your comming from.

Answer 4

Once you and your family moves out of your parent's home, you need to retrain your children to behave the way you want them to. It isn't going to change over night but, that is what you will have to do.

Answer 5

you need to take control of your kids, they are still young so you can still do this,

Answer 6

move out!!!! that it

Answer 7

u havent lost control u should just reward them greatly wen they do good things. duh!!