should a 5 year old see her dad, a murderer that was sentenced for 17.5 years for murdering his aunt?

Question

the five year was only 2 at the time he was sentenced,but lately she has been asking why he is in their,and she had watched numourous times when she was younger this man hit her mother. when he killed his aunt he brutely beat her stompted on her head and strangled her,broke her wrist,broke a wooden chest over her head,broke her ribs tried to stab a kitchen knife in her ribs, and then went back to the kitchen to get another knife and went back and sliced her throat over and over again. And all this started because she called him a fake

I NOW HAVE A QUESTION FOR ALL PEOPLE WHO ALREADY ANSWERED. HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN TO AN ADULT THAT THINKS THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT AND WHOM HAPPENS TO BE THE FATHER OF THE MURDERER AND THE ONLY BROTHER OF THE VICTIM THAT IT IS OF THE MOTHERS BEST JUDGEMENT, THAT HER DAUGHTERS EMOTIONAL WELLBEING IS OF CONCERN AND THAT HE NEEDS TO JUST QUIT ASKING IF HE CAN TAKE HER TO SEE HIM. PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO GET THROUGH TO A PERSON OF THAT IS SO DAME STUBBORN????????????

Answer 1

I would think definitely not. Tell her he is in there because of his behavior, that he broke laws. If she wants to see him, tell her that she will be free to do that, if she chooses, when she is a grown up. But that it is important for children to spend all their time with adults who behave properly, so that the children can feel safe and grow up to be happy, and good citizens themselves. Say this with compassion for her father's suffering, not judgment, simply be matter-of-fact. And stick to it until her eighteenth birthday, don't give in a day early.

Please do not give her the details of the murder until she is of age. In fact, you needn't tell her he is in for murder at all, until then (I would stick to "he broke laws or a law"). If she wants to go visit him, she should know what he did, and how, before she goes to see him, but not until she is of age. Literally 18.

Answer 2

No way, she is too young. She cannot comprehend that. Her brain is just beginning to develop. Taking her to the prison to see her dad can seriously damage her. Wait until she is close to 18, but now is way too young. She cannot comprehend what her father did or death or how big of a crime this and how vile. Do not do it.

She should be starting school and concentrating on her school. Not on how violently her dad killed his aunt. And you do not even know how her father really is? It is only been 2 to 3 years since he commited the crime. He is still extremely dangerous. Kids are extremely impressonable.

You should not tell her on the exact details of what her father did, but do not lie to her. Get a psychologist to help you find a kid freindly way to explain why her dad is not here and why he is in prison?

What her father did damaged her. You do not want to do that. It is way too early; you really need to consult a psychologist. This is really dangerous. You have to be the great role model because this kid has no one, but you. Kids remember tramatic events such as seeing her dad abuse her mother.

Her brain is just beginning to develop language. She does not know the law or have a full vocabulary yet or do multiples. Kids who grow up in a negative enviornment, such as where she is coming from, effects them tremendously. Your number one piority should be keeping her in a safe and a healthy enviornment.This is her shaping years.

You are doing great by being able to have an open conversation going in your household, that makes a good parent. The child is able to come to you for anything and talk to you about anything. But this wait until she is at least 16 or 15 to even begin to open up about this.

Answer 3

With the vivid and disturbing description you gave of the murder, it sounds to me like you are answering your own questions as to whether or not the little girl should see this man.
This is a five year old girl... I don't think she is old enough to understand, so you need to protect her IMHO. You may want to hold off on having her visit him, and get a therapist/child counselor involved in helping to explain things. Then perhaps you can work with the court/prison system once she gets older to have supervised visits, or wait unti lshe can make up her own mind.

Answer 4

This is an awfull horror story. I'm sorry if it was one of your rellatives that was murdered.
Just tell her she can't see daddy till shes older,because he did a very bad thing and is in jail.
But, that you will tell her more when shes older and if then she wants to make contact, then you will help her.
It's odd how we can remember things from when we are very small, I myself can remember back to age 3, I'm now 45.
I think as she gets older she will start having some memories about her father, and that day.
You are going to need to be there to help her work this out.
Maybe she won't want to see him then, then again, she just might so she can spit in his face.

Answer 5

OH MY GOD.isnt the answer obvious to you for christs sake NO not ever why put the child through mental trauma are you kidding me .your better off telling her the prick is dead and burried simple.;

Answer 6

you should not allow her to see him as a child as she get
to be an older child or adult then if she choose to see him
then that her choice but for now he sound very violent.

Answer 7

I think it would be best to let the child try to forget they even have a dad.

Answer 8

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO LET HER WRITE A LETTER TO HIM AND MAYBE WHEN SHE GETS OLDER LET HER SEE HIM BUT FOR NOW LEAVE IT ALONE!!

Answer 9

NO!!!!! I'D EVEN SAY HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!