son from his1st marrage.but when i told him hes doing/saying everything to get me to "get rid of it".I'm so upset as he has told me he loves me(engaged) plus the fact he is the best,devoted father i have ever known.How can he think the sun rises and sets for his 1st child but could care so little for the one im caring?
2007-05-26 16:40:14 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Perhaps he never wanted more than 1 child. Perhaps he doesn't want another child to have to go through what the first one has gone through with parents breaking up (the divorce rate is higher the second time you know). Only he can explain his reasoning.
2007-05-26 16:48:48 · answer #1 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey,
First, congratulations - the saying is true - a baby changes everything. You are on your journey to a true miracle.
Next, about your fiancee - well, to be honest, he's probably in utter shock - he knows about the total change that you are about to go through - not just with the pregnancy - but the aftermath - while a having a baby is a beautiful experience, there are many days of poop stained clothes, spit up, long nights, big expenses, etc.
Also at this stage, he has not yet bonded with your baby - with time, this too will happen. Right now, the baby feels more like an idea than a reality. As time passes, and the baby moves and rolls when he can feel it, seeing it on the ultrasound, etc, the child will become real to him.
Then, after the baby is born and he holds him / her, he will begin to have all the experiences with your baby that caused him to bond to the other.
Just give him time and patience... love and understanding... this will pass and he will love that baby too.
Best of luck
Wildflower
2007-05-26 16:46:57 · answer #2 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is in shock. Give it a few days and let him come to you.. Having a baby really changes everything. In some cases it causes couple to have trouble in the begining, and then brings them closer together.. Dont push the pregnancy on him let him come to terms with it on his own. If you push you may end up pushing him away. If he still insist on you ending the pregnancy then end the relationship. You can be a single mother just ask all the single women out there. Best of Luck and Congratulations.....
2007-05-26 17:50:19 · answer #3 · answered by auntietawnie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably just freaked out at the moment. Maybe you two arent' financially stable or he's not exactly where he wants to be in life yet. He may just have a hard time supporting his existing child and is scared of how he will a second one. Just give him some time and he will be okay.
2007-05-26 16:45:18 · answer #4 · answered by kittyxxx123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to rethink the pregnancy AND the marriage - ESPECIALLY the marriage. Any "man" who behaves like this is no candidate for either fatherhood or marriage. Ditch the guy, and be glad you don't have to go through a divorce.
As to the pregnancy - only you and your doctor can make that decision. You know your strengths, weaknesses, and beliefs.
No matter what you decide, good luck.
2007-05-26 16:44:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is just in shock. Give him a few days. Then it might be time to re-think the relationship if you are happy about the baby.
2007-05-26 16:44:11 · answer #6 · answered by caey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he only wanted one child.Maybe that is it.Personally if a guy did that to me I would dump him so fast he wouldn't know what hit him.
2007-05-26 18:21:23 · answer #7 · answered by Ms.Danielle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him time let him know how it makes you he helped create it so he needs to be there and adore the one your carryin just like the other one that he has
2007-05-26 16:44:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him?
2007-05-26 16:49:24 · answer #9 · answered by SueWithTwo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋