How do you explain this??

Question

I have been taking a handful of tylenol pills and allergy pills
soon as I go to bed and yes,
I have been doing this for nearly half the year yes half of
this year?
I am a 51 year old woman and in the morning I have prescribed
medications that I have to take up to 9 or 10
different medications
just one of my medications at bedtime along with a handful
of allergy medication and tylenol pills
Yet every morning here I am time and time again
and not making this up, I really do this all of the time hoping
I never will wake up, yet I am here time and time again
and yes nearly half this year I have been doing this

I did this back in 2006?
Am I the walking Wonder Woman or something Super Woman
and am I the only person in the whole world who can do
this and I must be the only person
who does this and never dies

Answer 1

if you do it often your body has maybe built a tolerance for it
and its ridiculous that you hurt your body that way.

Answer 2

Jessica,
Long time no hear. Please don't delete this. You may not realize it, but tylenol will not killl you right away, but it will destroy your liver over time. I would urge you to stop taking any acetometephine products, and really you need to see a mental health professional.

You are exhibiting signs of severe depression, you need counseling and prayer. LOTS OF PRAYER. Jessica do you realize that you have been fearfully and wonderfully made? Do you know that the word of God tells us that God thinks about us. HE REALLY DOSE!!! God thinks about you. I don't know what meds you take in the am, you could have a reaction, you could be suffering from a sleep disorder, you should tell your doctor about this problem that you have just as you told the Y A/A community, and let him help you.

You once told me you believe in God, that you accept Christ? If that is so I urge you to do what Peter tells us, "to cast your cares upon Him, because He care for you" Tell your doctor, and tell God. I can assure God will help, and so will your doctor. To think of youself as a "wonder woman" because you are still alive after abusing yourself with substances is called being "Manic".

Jessica, I have been like this too, Jesus has changed me, my doctors have helped me, don't give in to a delusion, and continue to hurt yourself. You are more prescious to God than you can ever know.

Hope this helps, al 4 now B

Answer 3

perhaps god is trying to tell you it is not your time yet. You are only 51 why do you want to kill yourself? do you have anyone that loves you? because maybe their hopes and prayers are the only thing keeping you alive. Besides you don't really want to kill yourself, I've known people that killed themselves and they didn't announce it on yahoo they took all the pills they had in one night and wrote a letter trying to explain why they did it or to give some comfort to those they left behind. Just to let you know their words didn't help they eased no sorrow. they left and never came back, leaving me to think that if i just said i loved them one more time maybe just maybe the gun wouldn't have looked so friendly. In a world that's so full of life you are only alone as you want to be. I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. When you don't want to feel... death can seem like a dream. But, seeing death - really seeing it... makes dreaming about it ******* ridiculous.

Answer 4

This is a true story.
When I was 14 years old my mother met her soul mate and they fell in love.It was a match made in hell and was something I had never thought was possible
To make a long story short my new 'daddy' and I did not get along very well.I'd come home from School to find he'd cut up my panties into little tiny pieces and put them in potpourri dishes and displayed them around the house and he would bury my clothes
in the back yard,digging them back up and putting them back into my dressers.The two of them combined was a lethal combination and was extremly bazaar so as a result we fought alot especially since I didn't want to be my new daddy's girl friend.
One day I came home from School and found a box on the front door step with my name on it.I knocked on the door and didn't get an answer.I looked inside the box and in it was my clothes and a note from my mother telling me that if I wanted a place to live I was to go to this address.That she had made arrangements for me to live there because her and Gary had moved and I wasn't invited to go along with them.I knew where to go because I had been there before so I picked up the box and left to go to the address on the note.
Needless to say my mother had made other 'arrangements' for me when I showed up at the address on the note and when I arrived I was let in and immediatly beat within an inch of my life,raped and threatened that if I told anyone about it that they would call the police and have me arrested.
I was so traumatized and battered with brusises and burn marks from cigarrettes that I didn't know what to do and was afraid of being 'arrested' for that happening to me.So for an entire year I lived like that while trying to stay in School and getting raped on a daily basis living in a roach infested house with mouldy walls and people doing drugs and drinking and worse.
So I decided death was better than living and I took two prescription bottles of Codiene with a bottle of 'Night Train' and called it a night.
I awoke the next day with a head ache and sick to my stomach and realized that I hadn't died and the pills hadn't worked.
That happened to me a long time ago and if I had suceeded in killing myself my beautiful son would never have been born and my husband who'se life was saved because of my love would not be here either.
God had a plan for me and eventhough I went through hell God was always there with me to give me strength when I needed it the most.And now that I'm saved he's with me always,protecting me and guiding me in the right direction.
Your body is not yours to kill,it belongs to God and I realized that committing suicide is the most selfish and arrogant thing a person can do.
And no matter how hard it may seem to us there's always someone else out there who has it worse or has had it worse.
I don't know your situation or why you gave up on life but remember you were put here for a reason and Satan will try and do everything he can to you to keep you from discovering what that reason is.If you kill yourself Satan wins and you lose.
Instead of thinking ending it is the best thing to do think about how you can change things by asking God to come into your life and take over for you.He will make Satan leave you alone and take you places you've only dreamed about.He will guide you and love you and do everything for you.
All you have to do is stop struggling to do it yourself and by yourself and give him the steering wheel and let him do the driving instead.
If you want to learn about Gods great love and mercy I recommend reading "Classic Christianity" by Bob George.It will explain Grace and Mercy and exactly why each and every one of us was put here.
Good luck and I hope things turn out OK for you and remember that there is no one on this entire planet who is just like you.You are one of a kind like a priceless jewel or a beloved child of God.
Peace be with you.

Answer 5

why would you do all that hoping to die? You are probably immune to all those ingredients by now. So stop taking all that medicine unless you need it, The situation sounds like you need to tell your medical doctor about this

Answer 6

You need to seek therapy...you are clearly attempting suicide. I have no means to explain it, nor will I because I fear that if I or someone does, you will do as we say and will complete the as yet, uncompleted act.

Get help.

Answer 7

This is God's work in your life. It is not time for you to die. He has a purpose for your life and wants you to fulfill it.

Answer 8

sounds like you need to see a shrink

Answer 9

I like burritos.

Answer 10

ok, your story is saddening and it scares me. please do not kill yourself. you must have something to live for.