My husband embarrasses me! Bad manners?

Question

We attended a dinner last week. Everyone at the table waited to start eating until the last person was served. Not my husband! He dug right in. When I said (quietly, so as not to embarrass him), "Everyone is waiting, you should too", he replied, "I'm hungry!" Mind you, I was there receiving an award and he made me look really bad in front of my colleagues. He keeps doing this (even though he is fifty years old, for God's sake) and I don't know how much I can handle. If I try to talk to him about it, his attitude is, "I can do what I want! I don't care what others think!" I'm about ready to leave him.

Am I being unfair?

Answer 1

hahaha sounds a lot like me, we're just being guys. He's 50 years old now, I think at that age you would have less things to worry about such as how the public looks at you. He's enjoying life and doesn't give a $ h i t what the rest of the world thinks. If you're so embarrssed about your husband then don't invite him to your events, I'm sure he would be glad to stay at home.

Answer 2

Isn't it interesting how all the women that answer say he is in the wrong and needs to learn manners.
GOD FORBID what people with think!!!
What a joke.
If a man is hungry, he eats, if other people don't like it, too bad.
Typical woman trying to train a man to be an obidient little pet. Guys don't care what other people think, and if the man is 50 years old, why is it you think you can change the way he is?
So what if other people (women) don't like his manners? What do they have to do with his life on a day to day basis that he should care?
You were at a dinner, isn't the object of a dinner to eat?
Maybe you should leave him, and go find yourself a timid, meek, weak, little man that does what you tell him and sits around worrying about proper manners and what others will think of him.
Do him a favor, and leave him, so he doesn't have to go to anymore BS dinners or other events that "embarrass" you so much.

Answer 3

That's the reason you are willing to walk out on a marriage? Please, come on now. Surely this is not new behavior for him. After being married for awhile we tend to forget why we married a person in the first place and focus mostly on what we don't like about that person, becoming more resentful and angry at times. If he had burped out loud or made some other ridiculous thing it would have been different. You are your own person and not responsible for your husband. If anyone was thinking poorly of him, it has nothing to do with you. And he doesn't mind. Neither should you. Don't nag him about it and point out the great things about him, he might then come around and do things differently just to please you. I bet there were others at this function who wished they could have started eating and prob. admired his actions. Granted, it's not the best of manners in such a situation but it's not the end of the world either.

Answer 4

My father, also in his fifties, behaves the same way and humiliates my mom on a regular basis. If it's any comfort to you, he's the one that looks like an *ss, not you. I think it's time to tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to start showing you some respect. He may not care what other people think, but he at least needs to care what *you* think, you're his wife! Tell him if he continues to act like a child, you'll be attending these functions alone from now on. If the ultimatums don't motivate him to shape up, yes, leave him.

Answer 5

I'm sure it's aggravating but I guess I couldn't leave a person over that. I must admit that it gave me a little laugh because guys are really a pain in the *** sometimes.
I think I'd be very serious.. I'd sit him down and I'd tell him that you need to talk to him. I'd explain to him that you would not want to embarass him or disrespect him in any way in front of others and you expect the same. Tell him you love him and ask him if he'd give you the consideration that you are asking for. Then simply give him a chance.

Answer 6

If at this age he doesn't know good manners I doubt if you will change that. He should have learned that at a early age. If he has always been this way why does it bother you now? I would let him know how upset I was and that at his age it is uncalled for that type of behavior. If he insists on it, don't take him with you anymore. Make excuse why he couldn't come, but if I loved him I don't know if I would make a drastic move as leaving him. No, your not being unfair.

Answer 7

Take a deep breath. Prepare a phenomenal meal. Invite family. Dont say a word, and film the dining experience (for posterity like for thanksgiving or so)....then play the tape for him and see if he notices the horrendous eating and correct himself after the shame. As for the cussing, get $100 bills from the bank. Every time you hear him cuss, pull money out of the jar and go shopping. In a while, he will realize he has a problem. Both are indirect methods but should be effective. Good luck.

Answer 8

He sounds a selfish man.Maybe leave him home next time tell him that he embarrasses you. You must of known what he was like when you married him. I think your colleagues would be able to see what he was like the way he spoke to you. Be careful because if your colleagues may leave you off the invitation list if you husband is to rude.

Answer 9

If he is this self centered at something such as a dinner, I'd guess the guy was pretty much of the attitude that "It's all about him". Probably he's pretty selfish and even controling in other aspects of his life as well............ And it is doubtful that his crudity is anything your are ever going to change. It was his upbringing.... thank his mother for that.

But whether or not you think this is a divorce item is up to you.... next time, just don't ask the guy to go.... problem solved.

Answer 10

Your not being unfair but something tells me there is more to the relationship. If he has no manners just leave him at home next time. You really want to leave over him having no manners? Has it gotten worse over the years?