my wife is meeting old friends and new acquaitances on the internet. when i confront her about it she asks me

Question

why am i going through her stuff. their conversations include trying to meet up and things of that nature. the kicker is i think she wants to sleep with a woman, maybe just to see how it is. i am at a lost on what to do. i need some help or guidance on what to do. by the way we have not been married a year, but we have been together for 6 years.

Answer 1

Well first of all, you shouldn't be going through her stuff. I am sure that if the shoe was on the other foot, you would be quite upset at the invasion of YOUR privacy.

Secondly, it is never okay for any marriage partner to go outside of the marriage for sexual stimulation. This includes porn of ALL types, and sexual contact of all degrees, no matter what sexual mix there is. A marriage is supposed to be an agreement between TWO people. If she is not satisfied with that, then the marriage is destined to fail.

I would suggest telling her that her behaviour is upsetting you greatly, and that you feel it threatens your marriage. Tell her that you think you both need to see a marriage counsellor to resolve these issues. If she agrees, then make sure she goes. If she doesn't, then go alone. YOU still need to have these issues resolved in your own mind.

Good luck. And remember, if the marriage is doomed to fail, it is much better to let go of it willingly, then to force years more out of a relationship and to carry that emotional baggage farther into the future.

Answer 2

Well answering from a woman's perspective, there has to be a reason that you were "going through her things" which would indicate to me that you really don't trust her, or something has happened in which that trust was violated.

If you think she wants to sleep with a woman chances are she probably does.

i know some may not agree, but i would drop her like ghost and keep it moving. If she has theses tendencies now, do you think she will change?? NO

It will only become more complicated once children are involved.

My husband and I had an agreement when we got married 8 yrs ago (been together for 12 )that if we ever thought the other was doing something that was questionable or found someone else, we would leave the relationship no ifs, ands or butts

it has worked for us and I think you should start a relationship on the same grounds. There are too many truly faithful women out there who would not put you through this.

Seek out marriage counseling if possible, but if you do decide to forgive her you must NEVER mention it again

Six years is a long time to walk away from someone but do you think it will be any easier at 10 or 15 with kids??

Sometimes God will give you signs, but we have to take heed and not overlook stuff.

Just my two cents

Answer 3

There's nothing wrong with keeping in touch with people or making new friends, but she shouldn't need to hide it from you if that's all she's doing. If she's not cheating on you I'd bet it won't be long before she does. You should talk to her and tell her in no uncertain terms that while you don't mind her having friends online, you aren't comfortable with the secrecy and plans to meet up. Ask her if she's curious about being with a woman - if she says yes, try to respect her sexual fantasies but make it clear that if she acts on them you will consider it adultery and the marriage will be on the line. Hopefully she'll realize that you have a right to put your foot down and try to behave more respectfully in the future.

Answer 4

Make sure you're not reading between any lines and you have clear facts before you accuse her. You mention that "you think she wants to sleep with a woman" how do you know? Is it because she hugs her too tight or she spends too much time with her on the phone? These could be a refelction of your own insecurity....like I said don't assume anything, make sure you know the facts.

Are you insecure about her having friends...if you hold on too tight because your own fears you may lose her.

You two should sit and establish bounderies and see where each other stands as far as friendships with other people.

Answer 5

Well, she doesn't seem marriage material. She hasn't done all of the crazy things she's wanted to do. She's married and still wanting to meet up with people and sleep with a woman! i suggest you talk to her soon and throw around the words counseling and divorce. You may have gotten involved with a woman who wasn't ready. TALK, TALK and TALK! If she asks why tell her it is because you are married to her so it's your right!

Answer 6

Tell your wife that the only reason that you are looking through her stuff is because you love her a lot. She might not want to sleep with a women any more after that.

Answer 7

I would just drop it. I think your date is quite messed up. She wants to sleep with a woman just to see how it is?!?!? Lame excuse. If she's with YOU, she should respect YOU. Ask yourself: Is she treating me with respect?

She needs to straighten out her life and priorities. Talk to her about what she thinks is most important. Being happy with you? Or trying to find a woman to try and sleep with?

Answer 8

Tell her to answer the question.Also tell her if she didnt act suspiciously you wouldnt be going thru her stuff.Theres trust then theres a misuse of that trust and keeping stuff like this secret is abusing that trust.

Answer 9

If she is trying to sleep with a woman and you can also try to revenge her by sleep with a man.

Answer 10

she is hiding something.
you have a problem.
need to commuicate with her.
try counseling.
tell her it is upsetting you.
go away to gether on a vacation with no computers.
if she doesn't want to, you need to have a serious
heart to heart. your relationship is in trouble.
go to her. tell her how you feel.
listen to her. often women turn to others when their needs aren't being met by spouse