I really love my husband and he treats me and out two children well. We have been married 12 yrs and lived together for 3 before that. He is not very educated but is smart and did well with his job. We have gotten older now and his job has peaked and he doesn't seem to want to get any education so he can enhance his life. He is 38yrs. I just don't understand his lack of ambition. Or is it just me. I can do well for us but I have so many responsiblities I am exhausted. We have a wonderful family. How should I approach this? How should I feel?
2007-05-26 11:58:51 · 6 answers · asked by formy p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should be greatful for what you have and not need more from him that what he provides.
2007-05-26 12:05:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has a fear. At his work is very comfortable. He feels needed and knows exactly what is expected of him. He also has a fear. You knew he was not educated when you married him. There is a reason why he did not finish his education. Some people do not do well in a classroom or believe they will not do well. From his point of view, life at work maybe hard or he has reached the high point for his level of education or lack there of. However, why rock the boat? Who knows what would happen if he tried? He could fail? Or he could Succeed? Some actually have a fear of Success. This hard for me to handle because I am very driven however, I see it in other people, and some don't know how to handle extra responsibility. You married a man that made limitations for himself. No one can change him but him.
Be patient and love him for who and what he is. You can ask him to take on extra things around the house if you have to work more hours to make the money he is not. Money is the root to most divorces. I hope this does not happen to your family. Try to look at the bright side and ask your husband to do things that are in his compfort zone. Depending on what he does for a living maybe he could do side jobs under the table. Both of you need to sit down and look at things from the others point of view without blaming and without temper. The tow of you as adults need to think of ways to make both of your lives easier. Brain storm write ideas down as they pop in your heads. After writing everythig down then add and take away from the list.
2007-05-26 12:19:03 · answer #2 · answered by flateach33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do. Except ask him what he would like to be doing job wise in the next 5 years? Then tell him how your feeling right now & what you would like to see in the next 5 years. Sometimes we just grow away from each other. I know you love him but, Remember To Thy Ownself Be True.If your not you will never be happy. Men just get so comfortable that they don't have a clue to what's going on around them. Hope this helps.
Hugs
You can e-mail me anytime you want !!!!!!!!! STAR
sit down with him & aks him what he
2007-05-26 12:14:17 · answer #3 · answered by texasstar1974 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a good feeling to have. It was one of the main reasons my first marriage ended. She was actually more educated than I but as our careers grew and we became older I passed her and I stayed young and she did not. The love and intimacy staring to slow down and it just died!
Hope yours turns out better!!
2007-05-26 13:30:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you happy? Is he happy?
Sometimes ambition is like keeping up with the Jones or trying to impress someone other than yourself.
If you answered yes to the above questions...why mess with something that works?
Best wishes
2007-05-26 12:03:59 · answer #5 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
education isn't the only way to enhance one's life. not everyone is into the schooling thing. you said he isn't very educated to begin with. why would he want to go to school now? he can grow emotionaly without going to school. let him find his path.
2007-05-26 12:23:52 · answer #6 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋