I am new to this site. I have seen alot of young kids having sex, asking alot of sex questions. Oral sex, anal sex ect... This scares the crap out of me. I have a 13 year old son. I am a single mom, I do talk to him alot, I do feel we have a good relationship. But any advice you can give in having a serious conversation with him. I want to be one of those moms that he can come to me with anything, I have told him that. But I know that there will be things he wont tell me, I just dont want him having sex at 13 14 15 16. Man that really scares me.
2007-05-26 11:54:38 · 11 answers · asked by the_kikione 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Talking is your very best weapon during the teen years. That being said, boys keep it simple....they dont give up much information and work out a lot of agression, emotion and feelings physically....for my son, who is 22, it was basketball or sometimes chopping/hauling wood. He and his friends told me plenty over the years, including parties where ecstacy and other things were going on. The trick is to always be the mom and make it clear that the big five (safety, education, shelter, food, rest(orhealth) are your business. I made mine give me details for freedom. I would joke before he left "no girls, no smoking, no drinking, no fun, no freedom". But it kept the communication open. Give him some other opts besides mom for answers about sex, girls, etc. I recommended some male friends I trusted, but also suggested his physician and one relative. I was honest without giving him info he didn't need---meaning I admitted that I wont always have the answers but that I will help h im find them. I also made it clear that the more responsibility he wants, the more independence comes with a pricetag...that includes talking to me, acting responsibly and towing the line. It seemed to matter when I told him that at age 4 he was cute enough that he could do most anything and not upset me..but at 14...he has to meet me half way...and that eventually....this relationship would be as much his responsiblity as mine (unless he wants to live in my basement until he is 40). I also make sure I point out a few poor souls in TOPS parking lot who look like they still live with mom....it helps soften out the edges when he doesnt like your rules. Remember that when it is met with love and respect it will eventually make its way to his heart and y ou will both be fine. I also pray for my kids every day and I tell them I am praying for them. At 13, he gets to start picking his own fights. So be sure to ask before you go rushing in to solve anything....at school or otherwise. Last, dont be afraid to have a mom moment or two..... so you make a memory and an impression on them....my kids were just unsure enough to wonder if I really was crazy enough to show up on dates...I would say "I love the movies and I love popcorn" lol Trust your instincts. Trust your kids. If you are asking these questions, you are on the right track. God Bless.
2007-05-26 15:10:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, not that many really really young kids have had sex. Less than 25% of 15 year olds have had sex, and the percent gets lower the younger the kids. No, they usually don't think it's cool, they just don't know any better. Parents and schools are too embarrassed or whatever to talk to kids about sex, or else they just say, "Don't have sex!", so kids don't realize that there is such a thing as protection or how easy it is to get pregnant or get a disease.
2016-05-18 05:32:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
About the questions on Y!A, they are either just questions from silly teens or they are questions that they are too afraid to ask somebody they know. Your son will have sex when he is ready, you can't stop him. Even though it is so wrong to have sex in your teen years, he will do what he wants to do or what he feels that he has to do. He will either do the smart thing by saying "not me, not now" or not do the smart thing. It's up to him. You can try talking with him about it, but don't pressure him to tell you things that he doesn't want to say as it will completely destroy your good relationship.
2007-05-26 13:45:45 · answer #3 · answered by *~*RaChAel*~* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day ask him about the girl he likes. Then, while you guys are talking about her ask him if he has ever thought about sex. He will most likely say yes, then explain to him the dangers in it. He will most likely understand. Then tell him that he can talk to you about it, and if he has any questions he can ask you.
And I have seen a lot of sex questions also on this site. I am only 14, but I understand that kids shouldn't have sex. And I don't understand why kids do. It might because of bad parents, and parents who don't explain the dangers to their kids. I, myself got the sex talk quite a lot growing up, because one of my family members became pregnant at 16.
Okay, I'll shut up now.
2007-05-26 12:05:23 · answer #4 · answered by Lizzy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't had the talk with your son do it now. Even though they cover this in school, it is up to you to make sure all those basics are covered correctly. It is amazing what they kids think.
I bought my son a basic sex ed. book, had him read it, and then sat down and discussed it with him. From time to time, we would continue the conversation like when he started dating, when he started dating one girl seriously, and again when he turned 18 but his gf was 17. You just need to let him know that no matter what he asks you, you are willing to sit and talk things over with him.
2007-05-26 14:53:59 · answer #5 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the sad truth is that you can't really stop your kids from doing what they may want to do or already may be doing... since you guys already have a pretty good relationship just pull him aside..let him know what it was like when you were at that stage..not graphically..you'll scare him..but how the teens acted and so on..tell him about the "one" pregnant girl at school. let him know that just because he thinks he won't get a disease doesn't mean he won't get one...and if he thinks that he is mature enough to have sex to come talk to you about it and that you'd be willing to give him condoms...that way you know if he is having sex...and if he is..he's safe!...but we all konw that you hope he isn't and that its not on his mind...but sex is always on young boys' minds... good luck!
2007-05-26 12:45:54 · answer #6 · answered by gabby' 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Theres no mom you can go to everything with.
Just be glad he's a guy and probably wont have to take responsiblity for a child he makes. As for the girl, she shouldnt have even done sh*t
2007-05-26 13:28:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day ask him about the girl he likes. Then, while you guys are talking about her ask him if he has ever thought about sex. He will most likely say yes, then explain to him the dangers in it. He will most likely understand. Then tell him that he can talk to you about it, and if he has any questions he can ask you.
And I have seen a lot of sex questions also on this site. I am only 14, but I understand that kids shouldn't have sex. And I don't understand why kids do. It might because of bad parents, and parents who don't explain the dangers to their kids. I, myself got the sex talk quite a lot growing up, because one of my family members became pregnant at 16.
Okay, I'll shut up now.
2007-05-26 12:26:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
HELLO,
THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS SUBJECT FOR YOU. THE SEX-TALK MUST TAKE PLACE NOW.IF YOU ARE NOT CONFIDENT OF THIS HAVE A TRUSTED MALE FRIEND OR RELATIVE DO IT. AT 13 HE HAS TO RECEIVE THE UNDERSTANDING NOW BEFORE HE DOES SOMETHING FOOLHARDY AND CAUSES HIMSELF AND OTHERS NEEDLESS PAIN.
2007-05-26 13:38:14 · answer #9 · answered by Dr. Albert, DDS, (USA) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was a kid once...so just bring it up but make it fun...you know joke around but let him know that some things are serious
2007-05-26 14:59:37 · answer #10 · answered by rashest_hippo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋