Why would a 4 year old child say she hates herself & wants to die?

Question

She talks about death alot, every time she hears a siren she said someone died & always wants to know how & why people die. She takes crying fits saying she doesnt want me or other family members to die. In the last month or so she started saying she hates herself & she's stupied. Yesterday she said she wished she was dead I am very worried.

She talks about death alot, every time she hears a siren she said someone died & always wants to know how & why people die. She takes crying fits saying she doesnt want me or other family members to die. In the last month or so she started saying she hates herself & she's stupied. Yesterday she said she wished she was dead I am very worried.
Noone has died recently close to her & no noone that I know of (unless it was kids at school) has said anything but positive things to her noone tells her she is stupied or that we want her to die. We always tell her how pretty & smart she is. She watches alot of cartoons & Disney movies. She has limited access to internet (only to play kids games). I have talked to her about all this & she said she was talking about when she got old she wished she die. She cant tell my why she thinks she is stupied just that noone told her she was she just thinks so.

Thanks to everyone who had ligitamite advise. I have talked to a therapist that said it is normal for children go through this. Thay are usually not so young but not to worry & just answer her questions truthfully which I have & now she has completely dropped the issue. She doesnt cry saying she doesnt want anyone in her family to die anymore or talk about death at all. I am thankfull though to all the help I got on here with it being Memorial Day weekend & having to wait so long to talk to a professional I didnt know what else to do but research the subject & ask for advice.

Answer 1

you should consider some psychological help. your daughter is apparently going through something. she may be depressed and yes kids this early do get depressed, she may be showing signs of anxiety or some other mental issue that only a phychologist can diagnose. i don't want to scare you but as you have read some will assume its mental abuse on your or your husband and some one could call cps and report y'all and have a investigation done and possible lead to her being put in foster care if she doesn't get the help she needs, i am sure love your daughter and this is probably anxiety w/depression and with proper help will be able to learn how to deal with these feelings and if someone does call and report this you will have documentation of this being a mental issue not a abuse issue. i hope you get her help and gets better soon, my prayers are with her.

Answer 2

Children this age start to get a real reality of the death concept. Does she go to a daycare or a preschool? Someone there may have lost someone or she's met another child who has lost a parent or relative. She also could be having nightmares about it or night terrors. The thing is if you think this is more than you can get to the bottom of definitely get her into a counselor of some sort.

She has recently experienced something somewhere is isn't able to articulate to you what has happened. She needs help getting her head wrapped around it.

Answer 3

Well has someone close to her recently died? Have you explained the life cycle to her? Is someone in her life telling her she is stupid and such? Television could be a major influence involved. You should be very worried about this. She is 4!! How could she even understand what all this means? I would say that some professional help is needed for her to get to the bottom of this. There is obviously something stuck in her head that is causing this.

Answer 4

If I were you, I'd talk about it with her. Not too directly, of course. It might have nothing to do with death but rather about hating herself for some reason. As far as I can remember my psychological studies, children don't fully understand the irreversibility of death until they are about 8 years old. So my guess is it's not really about death. Has something happened at school? Has she got friends? Does she feel lonely in the children's community she's in eg. in nursery school? Has she got any problems at school? (It sounds very much like a fitting in with the group and/or anxiety about the future problem to me, but of course I don't know.) One of my friends said when she was six and was about to start school that she was going to kill herself - just because she was scared of starting school.

And if it is really about death, you should talk to her about death. You should explain everything she wants to know. Try to doi it in a way that SHE asks you questions.

It's easier for a child to talk things over with her mum than with a professional, I think, so this is what I would do first. I would even to talk the nursery teachers. And if that doesn't help, I'd try counselling.

Answer 5

I'm glad you got the answer you were looking for. My son went through the same thing at that age. It's a little upsetting but never fear it is only a stage. Be as honest as you can and she will forget all about it. My son wanted to know what Heaven looked like so I told him it was whatever he wanted it to be. He drew this beautiful picture of rainbows and animals and of course all his toy cars. That to him was Heaven. I said that was wonderful and it really hasn't been brought up since. Keep your chin up the teenage years are just around the corner and this is just a prelude of what is to come. :-)

Answer 6

I would seek counseling immediately. Has she lost someone or a pet recently? It seems that she is preoccupied with death and might need some help to come to terms with it. That's a lot for a four year old to digest. Some people never come to terms with death, best of luck to you and your little girl.

Answer 7

Take her for counseling now. If it is nothing, be relieved. If it is something, then get her help. Has someone she knows died recently? Family? Friends? How much TV does she watch? She is crying out for help. Give it to her.

Answer 8

Get the child some help, please. She has a very clear understanding of death and the repercussions of death. The youngest person to (knowingly) commit suicide was a 2 year old. Don't think that she won't do it. Don't let that baby become a statistic.

Answer 9

How much access to television and internet does she have? Is this ever a topical household conversation? Death, I mean? Where might she have gotten these ideas from?

Answer 10

this should not be taken lightly. if she isn't seeing a phsycologist, she needs to. she's already thinking about death and she's four, you guys need to sit and talk with her so she can tell why she feels this way. watch her carefully and give good supervision, before she does something harmful.