I am a straight male and he is always touching me in a playful jokingly manner. He has a girlfriend but he once mentioned that although he is dating her, I still mean alot to him. He didnt mention this in a way thats suggesting that she takes up time spent with me but in a more sexual manner. He often tries to lay his hand in my lap or reach across a table and touches my hand. I have joked about liking him but only as a joke and now I think he has taken things a little too far. I am not comfortable about this. I'm not sure how to discuss this with him. If he is really gay, that is fine with me I dont have a problem with that. But I want to know what I can do about this situation. Please help me
2007-05-26 06:17:20 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
There was also one time that he claimed something was wrong with his penis and asked if he could look at mine to verify. I found this to be very disturbing. I'm not sure if he was telling the truth or lying so he could look at me.
2007-05-26 06:19:48 · update #1
Another thing I forgot to mention is that I go to the gym often with this guy. He is very serious about his workouts and I know for a fact that working out raises your hormone levels. When he touches me I often shrug away and he laughs and blaims it on his elevated level of hormones in his body. Could this be relevant?
2007-05-26 08:00:52 · update #2
The best you can do is be accepting of him. If he's got a crush on you, it happens, he didn't choose it.
Encourage him towards being open with you. Tell him that if he is gay, you'll be just as accepting of him. But make sure you say you're straight, and staying that way, just as he's gay, and won't change.
2007-05-26 06:21:31 · answer #1 · answered by Ryan 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to sit down and have an open and honest conversation with your friend. There is more to his feelings than friendship towards you. Most straight males don't do those types of things with their straight friends,he is crossing a fine line there. Just accept him for who he is and tell him if he is gay its just fine. Some people may think he is gay already, and if he comes out they may be even better friends because he is honest with everyone at last.
2007-05-26 06:33:22 · answer #2 · answered by Nathan P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you just need to tell your friend that you are a straight male, and although you are both friends, you wish to remain JUST THAT: FRIENDS. There's nothing wrong with having a friend that's homosexual. Just tell him that you are feeling very uncomfortable about the touching and joking now that you think he is taking it too far. If he is a true friend, gay or not, he will understand and back off.
2007-05-26 06:26:27 · answer #3 · answered by Shady 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are really his friend, just talk straight to him. It doesn't have to be a huge heavy talk or a negative confrontation, but you might say this is all making you uncomfotable and you value your friendship too much to have such discomfort there. What you said is powerful: that if he is gay, you have no problem with it. He may need to hear it, but you may also need at this time to make sure he is getting your signal that you are not interested in him sexually, and furthermore, that you are straight.
2007-05-26 06:23:11 · answer #4 · answered by CarlisleGirl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a problem with the question. Why do you care if he is gay or straight? You have no intentions of doing anything with him, so why do you care? If he were gay, do you plan on dropping him from your A-list of friends? If so, if I were he, straight Or gay, I would drop you like a hot potato. Good luck and peace.
2007-05-26 06:37:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know how you feel. Tell him how the stuff bothers you with some of the stuff he is doing and ask him if he is gay or bi in a discreet way and tell him tha it won't bother you if he just stops making passes at you
2007-05-26 06:34:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try having sex with him and make it really bad sex. lol Maybe then he would leave you alone......lol Sorry just kidding. Be honest with him and ask him to be honest with you and not to deny anything that is really going on. If you really want to keep this friend then you have to be gentle cause in effect you are rejecting him and most people dont handle that too well.
2007-05-26 06:39:41 · answer #7 · answered by Patrick S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if he's gay or not. This behavior is inappropriate and you should tell him so. Just explain how you're uncomfortable with his invading your personal space. A real friend will understand and respect this. Just say 'hey man, could you back off? Its freaking me out when you do that". or something to that effect.
good luck
2007-05-26 06:24:41 · answer #8 · answered by Frootbat31 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Or the different decision is to assert "NO, no action picture! i imagine your gay!" or "certain, i am going to flow on a gay date with you thats what you adult men, ideal?!?". in basic terms flow to the action picture and stop over analysing for God's sake.
2016-11-27 20:47:59 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pick a quite time where you are alone together and just tell him these things bother you and would he please don't do them any more.
Tell him that you like/love him as a friend and that is all it ever will be between you.
2007-05-26 06:22:39 · answer #10 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋