What can I do about free time...?

Question

I understand that when you get married you don't get that much FREE time, BUT you are still your own individual person and you need some time to yourself every onec and a while! Well me and my husband have been together for 4 years and mrried one of those. I am 21 and he is 24, we spend all of our time together except for work which is about 9 hours Monday through Friday! We have only been apart one time, and that was about 3 years ago for 2 days! Everytime he wants to do something, he always ask me if i want to go, which I usually do, because I love being with him, BUT if I choose not to go one time, he will not go. I ask him why he doesn't ever want to go without me, he says he doesn't know. I think we spend too much time togethere therefore we fight over small things alot, so how do I get him to do some things with out me and feel okay about it?

When I tell him to go out with friend seven if it to their houses and I don't want to go, he won't just because I won't! So I know he wnats to go, but if I don't want to then it gets turned around on me like I couldn't go because you didn't type of thing!

I Understand we don't need to be joined at the hip, that is why I am asking for help!!!!!! I have tried to get him to go to friends hosues, I mean he won't even go to his damn parents hosue without me!

Answer 1

Encourage & reassure him! I too am married for 6 mos, Im 33 & I soo enjoy my free time, treasure it really. He has just gotten into the habit of always asking you, which truly is great, just look him in the eye and smile and say oooh you go ahead I'm going to (eat a little ice cream and watch a dvd).......I can't wait to hear all about it, bathe him with attention upon his return. When he eventually quesitons you about it just again reassure him, remind him it is healthy, and tell him how you enjoyed your mint chocolate chip but that it gave you a chance to miss him............Best o Luck! ((been there))

Answer 2

Honey, when you get a good answer to this PLEASEEEEEEE let me know. I am going thru the exact same thing and me and my hubby are 41 years old. We have been married for almost 3 years but have known each other almost 6 years. We met on the Internet and I fell in love with him almost instantly. We talked for almost 3 years, via messenger, phone and email. Then on Sept 20, 2004 he flew from Scotland, UK to Texas, US and on Sept. 29, 2004 we were married. We also have an 18 month old daughter. He is an awesome husband and daddy..........but OMG he doesn't understand, sometimes I need my OWN space!! He says I have plenty of time without him while I am at work, which is same as you about 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. He won't listen when I try to explain its not the same as needing some me time, away from him AND work.
We fight over some of the worst "LITTLE" things and I agree with your analysis on that one too.

Good Luck with this one!

Answer 3

You and your husband sound almost exactly like me and my husband. We have also been together 4 years and I am 21 (but he is 27.) I understand how you feel. My husband used to work in an office, but now he works at home. When he first started, I just felt like we were always together, and we got no time alone anymore. Why don't you and your husband make some couple friends? My husband and I have one couple who we always hang out with. I usually hang out with the wife, and he hangs out with the husband. This way you guys are together, but not together, so you are both comfortable. If you both have a similar interest, like reading, then maybe you can join a book club and get to know more married people around your age.

Good luck!

Answer 4

hey dont feel like you are the only one with this kind of problem. im only 19, my girlfriend is 17, and it'll be 5 years august 1st. we lived together for about a year and a half. i used to let her go with her friends on the weekends to do whatever she wanted while i sat home grounded most of the time..when i moved out at 18 she came with me, and we sat in the house all the time...till people started coming over drinkin and chillin and stuff..then she slowly migrated out of the house into other peoples houses, to where she was gone 3/4 of the day. now she has a job and i still sit home wondering wether to go out like she has done, chill with my friends, maybe make a few moves and get this relationship its purple ribbon, cuz damn its been one heck of a show!!!
the best thing i can tell you to do is to hang out with friends..get him to understand that you guys NEED other people in your life. thats what made your grandfather and grandmother stay together for like 50 years...they had no friends

Answer 5

Join a gym, book club, or cooking class so you can get some alone time. My husband is the same, and I focus on doing things on my own so that I get a break from him. Don't push him to go out without you because he may end up liking it too much.

Answer 6

You both have to find things that you do on your own. Being together 24/7 leads to cabin fever and who knows what else. I work on daughters vehicles in evenings and would not expect my wife to be laying a puddle of grease busting her knucles. She does geneological research as a hobby and doesn't expect me to get paper cuts with her. We all need a little space of our own to keep our sanity. You don't need to be joined at the hip.

Answer 7

Ask a friend of his to ask him to go out on an outing for just men only (not bars). Maybe that will get him going and see how much fun he can have with other people, besides you.

Answer 8

free talk or have sex