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32 answers

His wife should be first. Children grow up and live their own lives. Make their own family's. A spouse is the center and cornerstone of your life. If you base your life solely on the children, when they leave the nest, you have nothing left. But, you can love your whole family as much as you want. God did not have us take vows with our children because it is natural to love and cherish them. Get it?

2007-05-26 05:21:44 · answer #1 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 3 0

Your wife should always come first, no matter what. People will say your kids, but think about it, if you are constantly putting your kids first, whats left for you and your wife. My husband and I just went through an affair on his part and we are now recovering from it. He had the affair, becaues we both put everything before each other and at the end of the day, there was no time or energy for us. He felt neglected and sought out attention. I felt neglected, too, and actually considered an affair myself, but I had already cheated once and promised myself I would never do it again. We both learned alot from this and have learned that we both need to put each other front and center and everything after that cuz if you dont have a happy marriage, then how is the rest of your life supposed to be happy?

2007-05-26 05:54:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

that's a hard question,depends on the situation at the time. this is like asking you who should come first the husband,children,stepchildren.
You don't say what the situation is... for instance,is the wife on drugs,does she abuse the children, or
Is the relationship as a wife wonderful r the children great?
Depending on how old the children r too.
If the children are 18 and older the wife comes first if the children are younger than 18 they come first.

2007-05-26 09:06:55 · answer #3 · answered by itsme 3 · 0 1

If you're trying to force him to neglect his children from previous marriages (whether his or steps to him), then you are going to drive him away from you.

Perhaps if you'd given more details about what, exactly, makes you ask, we could help.

It's wrong to try to push him into pretending those children are not a part of his life.

It's wrong to assume that people's priorities are tidy lists of first, second, third.

One's spouse and all one's children should be equal priorities in one's life.

If you thought that your having his children would make him forget about those other kids, you were wrong.

I applaud him for it. If they still need him in their lives, he's a good man for not abandoning them completely.

2007-05-26 08:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 1 0

His wife should be priority, thats true........but his biological children should be number one. He/she needs to embrace tightly the stepchildren., include them.......if a man or woman marrys one 'with children' they each need to embrace those kids on all levels.
With that said.....it is very difficult to find a balance in a blended family but it can be done....with an open and loving and giving heart.
In my own personal life my two children deal with a stepmother who could care less about thier needs and thier father is indifferent to it all. But when it comes to thier 3ry old son....he is king. Just relating here what I hear from my kids as they spend time at thier dad and stepmoms home.
What goes around, comes around........when my children are adults.......I doubt seriously if they will find 'time' for thier dad, given the way he ignores thier well being in his own home.

2007-05-26 05:32:26 · answer #5 · answered by Janet 5 · 0 1

His wife first then all the children. Doesn't matter if they were from previous marriages. It's still his children.

2007-05-26 05:23:25 · answer #6 · answered by Amy L 5 · 2 0

as a married woman i personally feel the order should be God first. everyone and everything else will fall in place. If you chose to put your wife first make sure shes a good woman. then your children will be taken care of and don't need to be a 2nd. but if she is sorry your children will suffer. however you should never have to take a back seat to anyone outside of your immediate family which is the husband, wife, and all children his hers and theirs.

2007-05-26 07:19:18 · answer #7 · answered by ebona1 2 · 0 1

Who should, and who does changes over time. Sometimes it is a 'what' that is first.

Dictating to him how he should feel will no more work than him dictating to you. Just accept each other for the difference and be happy.

2007-05-26 05:38:08 · answer #8 · answered by ~Casper~ 4 · 0 0

Well, when you married a man who been previous marry he mostly will put them first,but if he has children. Then they come first, then you, and his ex- wife comes last. He stepchildren come first.

2007-05-26 05:46:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

When you have children the whole game is changed. Even if both biological parents are together...the dynamic of their relationship changes. It is ALL about the child (and it should be) EVERYTHING comes secondary. That is one of the challenges in having a relationship with someone with kids....you have to understand that the children have to come first. If you equate that to love then YES you need to be OK with playing second in love too.

2016-03-13 00:04:27 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 1 0

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