I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years already. I fell very much in love with her. We were planning to get married next summer but she called me and told me it's over. It left me very scarred. I thought she was the one. It hurts so bad. Why does love hurt? Will i ever find true love?
2007-05-26 04:42:43 · 22 answers · asked by Thomas L. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Im so sorry for you... We are in just about the same position... He told me it was over Monday (On our anniversary)....
I wish it didnt hurt so bad....
Life is too short to let the good ones fall through your fingertips
=-( I feel your pain...
2007-05-26 04:46:44 · answer #1 · answered by irreplaceably_rare 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Healing a Broken Heart
There's no question that breakups can be painful, and that it's difficult to trust and love again. But there are ways to get past the pain. Here is some of Dr. Phil's advice for healing the heartbreak.
In time, it is absolutely vital to put the pain behind you and move forward with your life and love. Otherwise, you are giving away your power to the people who hurt you.
Sometimes the relationship you need to rescue is the one with yourself. Moving past a breakup is about you, not your ex.
Don't start thinking about being friends right away — if ever. You have to be your own friend first.
Grief is a process to go through, not a destination in which to wallow. In a process, you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and each little step is part of your healing.
Define your real intentions. Are you trying to move past the breakup, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? You won't move on until you've accepted that the relationship is over.
Be careful about the language you use. When you use catastrophic terms like "nightmare," "terrible," and "horrible," you're bound to spend time dwelling on the negative. Focus on what you can do.
Sometimes you can't get over being hurt until you know you've been heard. Give yourself permission to express your anger and sadness.
Don't embarrass yourself or put yourself in a situation where you'll look back and feel humiliated. Driving past your ex's house, making dozens of phone calls or e-mailing non-stop is no way to let go of the past or come out with your head high.
Learn to trust again. Whenever you get involved in a relationship, you know there's a risk. Don't let a bad experience keep you from living your life to the fullest. You can go through life suspicious, or loving and laughing.
2007-05-26 04:46:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will never find true love by wallowing in self-pity. We men tend to just stick with what we got but women----they'll fire your butt at the first instance of doubt. Get over her, cuz she's surely over you, dude! Theres puh-lenty of females out here that are just dying to be in a monogomous relationship like you evidently are used to. Sometimes the love just doesn't last for both parties and unfortunately it happened to you. There are way too many babes out here for you to be sitting at home with the curtains drawn and the lights out watching Sleepless in Seattle. Do something for yourself that'll make you feel better. Get a new hairdo, change your appearanc a little or something. Whatever you do, don't mope around thinking about HER, dude! Play the field or become a player while you're single, you might like it---if ya got any game. And by the way, make sure the next chick is hotter than the last one. The ex always hates that.
2007-05-26 05:37:18 · answer #3 · answered by www.askaman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand what you are going thru. You are devestated. I've been there. In time, I realized that when the person broke my heart, they were obviously not the one for me. My soul mate I mean. The pain you are feeling will go away,though I know you are thinking this isn't possible, it is!! :) And it will get better. Your heart will mend, and soon you will find the right woman for you. Don't be afraid to love again. Part f dating is finding that one you wanna spend the rest of your life with. Don't be scared to meet new people, and try new things. What you need is a girl who loves you enuff to stick around, and be by your side. Dont be afraid to look for a new fish in that sea! You will be fine, you seem like a nice guy. Plenty out there:)
2007-05-26 04:50:37 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love does hurt and right now it probably feels as if finding the heart and soul kind of love is a million miles away. You had a long term commitment and I am sure what ever qualities your last girl found in you some lucky woman will find in you too. Hurting is our grieving process. It last a little while but it wont last forever. :) I sincerely hope you find the girl who deserves all of your love and who can appreciate the man you are. Good luck :)
2007-05-26 04:50:00 · answer #5 · answered by s_and_j_hatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been hurt by several men,but I'm not sure any of it was "love" or even "true love". It's hard,I know. I am extremely bitter by all of my run ins w/ men. I'm depressed and alone myself. I just try to stay focused on my daughter,she IS the best thing in my life. Maybe if you don't have children you could buy a pet, It's not the same but it can definitely you busy!
2007-05-26 04:48:48 · answer #6 · answered by Constance C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Takes time to get over hurts. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't want you. Start dating again. Find someone who does want to be with you. There are no garantees in the love department and any relationship may not work. Just remember that when you find someone else. Talk to them a lot, find out what their values are, what their interests are, what they want for the future. Tell them your values, interests and what you want for the future. Then the best thing to do is marry them if you find some one that's right.
2007-05-26 04:54:13 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thomas, I'm sorry for your loss. Maybe she got tired of waiting,but it's better to break up now than after a couple kids. Save your love for someone who will marry you and have your children. A marriage relationship is the hardest successful "business" you will every have if you work hard enough at it!
Go for a long walk in the sunshine every day and thank God for each and every blessing He has given you. He'll help you through this hard time. Read the book of St. John to know Him better and His promises.
2007-05-26 04:51:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW !!!... have I been there.. did she give any reasons as to why?? 6 yrs of an relatioship and it suddenly abrupts !! was there any warning signs you may have missed.. ... like spending less time with you , little patience , un-explained where-abouts , no interest in "You" at All... see where Im going with this one ??.. until you get final answers from her I would suggest not seeking another relationship.. she could have gotten ** cold-feet** ya know ... or... the worst ... someone else.. good-luck
2007-05-26 04:57:17 · answer #9 · answered by sassy-baby'girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know how old you are, but i am 27 and i truly believe there is someone for every one. maybe it wasn't her. i have been in relations. that went from 6mths.-10 yrs and every time at some pt. i said this is the one. but like the saying says about fish in the sea, there are way to many people in the world to not have someone for everyone. i think it is just being around the people that make you happy and seizing the moments. don't be sad dude, think of it this way you are waisting time the real one is waiting. go get her
2007-05-26 04:51:03 · answer #10 · answered by Team Hall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it really over, or are you two just in the mist of an argument. give her a few days and then call her, helll go pay her a visit. You do not just throw away 6 years. Unless, unless you did something really stupid and it made her realize she would be making a mistake to make you a permanent fixture in her life.
2007-05-26 04:47:37 · answer #11 · answered by 2Cute2B4Got 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋