Loneliness is so hard to take
My eyes keep on shining
My smile is so fake
Friends that call are none
To be alone
Is to be only one
No where to go
Nothing to do
To be alone is to be without you
The statement is made
The question is why
To be without you
Makes me want to cry
Without you, my life is not complete
Peace at last
I'll close my eyes and go to sleep
2007-05-26 02:32:11 · 7 answers · asked by flawless1212 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I wrote this poem a few years ago. I write just for the fun of it. I like my poems to rhyme too
2007-05-26 02:43:39 · update #1
oh very nice :)
2007-05-26 05:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by foxylady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should rewrite it, it's perfect I hear you and I don't think you wrote this one for fun I think you let something go your didn't want to just like most of us do. The last stanza makes complete sense. You don't have to remember or think about it when your asleep... I've been here more than once. Your an great poet don't change a thing it was very heart touching and alive... I like the rhythm I like my poems to rhym too...
2007-05-26 09:54:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is so far one of the best i have read on this site!!!
it rhymed in all the right places and made perfect since it let the reader now what was ging on and how you were feeling (even if you werent really feeling that way)!!!
you should take a creative writing class if you like writing soooo much!!!
it was good!!!
xoxo
2007-05-26 10:17:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i really like it! seriously! you should try to publish that!!!!!!!!!it is kinda sad but cool in all! i really like it!!! The last stanza is kinda shakey you should reword it! but i do like it! good luck with this poem! is it for school or are you trying to get a career!
2007-05-26 09:41:13 · answer #4 · answered by hsgirll 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really - it just sounds like you are whining, and the last part just doesn't keep with the rest of it.
2007-05-26 09:38:48 · answer #5 · answered by Paul L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice job! Makes me think of my mom she may be getting a divorce from my dad.
2007-05-29 06:31:20 · answer #6 · answered by Sh00ting_St@r! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....this poem is really heart touching. Well done
2007-05-26 09:42:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋