I know that lots of people have to work on their reletionship at times, but how do you know when it's time to just accept that it'll never work?
2007-05-25 23:31:28 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A hard question to answer. When he never gives in and you are always the one who has to. When he doesn't care about your feelings it is a good sign that it is over. When the bad out weighs the good. When nothing you do seems good enough. When you are making yourself crazy trying to please him and it can't be done. Make a written list pro and con. You probably already know the answer. Don't live an unhappy life, life is just too short.
2007-05-25 23:39:15 · answer #1 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that there is ever a time that marriage and relationships are not going to take work, effort and energy.
However if yours is unhealthy and there is abuse beit emotional, verbal or sexual then it is time to get out.
Also if the trust, respect, honesty, caring and thoughtfulness are nonexistent it would also seem that it is over.
If you both have given all your heart and soul and have done everything that you can possibly think of to try and find out the root of problems it may be heartbreaking but sometimes there does come a time when it is best to let go and both of you can begin to heal.
Look back at what your relationship was when you first got together. There was a reason that you both had that special spark in your eyes for each other.
Can you try and find it again?
When you look at your wedding pictures and see the love glowing in your eyes are you ready to accept that it is gone?
If there are children involved then has every effort been made for the two of you to have time with each other alone?
Is there some underlying problem that one or the other of you needs to work on so that the relationship can get back on track? Have you (or your partner) worked on that?
If you can say that it is gone, you have done everything and there is nothing else that either of you can think of to do then perhaps it is truly over.
It is always tough to end a relationship but if you have given it your all then you both will be able to at least look back on it and know that you did everything you could but that there was just nothing there anymore.
Good Luck!
2007-05-25 23:47:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
One person trying to communicate and work on a relationship doesn't work. Theres no one catch-all answer to this but I'll give you my experience in this.
When the other person decides their decisions are all that matter anymore.
When the other person changes the rules every time you try to compromise and meet them half way, and you find they aren't meeting you half way, you are the one trying to change, you are the one bending to their ever changing demands.
When the other person has nothing but criticism and refuses to do their part in any way in day to day activities - be they household, or otherwise.
When the other person sees your interests and goals as threats. Further, when the other person perceives that anything you do that would be about personal growth (i.e. higher education, taking a class, joining a group with similar interests) as a threat.
When the other person undermines your friendships and tries to convince you that not only are your friends not good enough anymore, but you should accept their friends as your friends and not expect to have any of your own.
Along with this, the other person also thinks that every friend you possess has to be their friend too. But if they have friends you don't like, you just have to deal with it.
When the other person undermines your authority (with children, with other people and friends, with other family members.
When you can never do enough for the other person.
Gifts, gestures of love, intimacy...no matter what. They may appreciate it right then and there, but does it matter the next day? Do they reciprocate? Do they try to make you feel as important as you have tried to make them feel? Are they making those efforts - some, at all?
When the other person interferes with your work? Do they call, insist you take off just so you can do something for them? Do they call and start verbal fights, or criticise? Some things can wait. When at work, people ought to be allowed to meet their obligations without a lot of extra drama unless it truly is an emergency.
Sometimes, finding that it can no longer work is a growth process of its own. You have to look hard at things and make those decisions based on where you are, where you have been, and decide what you can and can not honestly handle or put up with.
2007-05-26 01:11:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's when life would be so much better without the other person and you feel that trying to get back on track is not worth it,that you would be happy moving on to pastures new and feel certain, that in time, everyone would be better off, if you both were not together.
It's hard because you still love that person but are no longer in love with them, they become like a cosy sock no reason to stay, I think.
This has happened to me and took an Affair to make me realise all of this,it was a bit harsh and the whole off both our family's have been affected, as we were all very close but we are all starting to heal and life looks good,so, if this is how you feel, go with it, nobody breaks up a Marriage because of a whim.
2007-05-26 00:01:03 · answer #4 · answered by live life 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes two people to make a relationship work. If you are the only one trying to make your marriage happy, then the minute you realise you are the only one doing all the work and your spouse couldnt give a shiit, is the time you have to accept that the marriage is doomed. Maybe when you come to that realisation your spouse may just sit up and take notice and realise if he/she wants to keep you, then they will have to try to work on the marriage too.
2007-05-26 00:35:31 · answer #5 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a very difficult question to answer. I have seen both sides of the coin:
people who hoped and prayed and never got what they wanted, maybe because they did not accept that it was perhaps God' s will for them not to have this relationship [I am not speaking about marriage here]
2] people who gave up just when something good was about to happen and lost their loved ones forever ecause they juped on the next boat [maybe got married to someone else]
how to know when it is time tog ive up? I surely do not know!
2007-05-25 23:55:59 · answer #6 · answered by godshandmaiden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have tried counseling, open communication, and everything else that you can think of.... and the relationship still seems dead to you - then leave.
If you've lost the will to even try to make it work, then it looks like the relationship would be over.
In a marriage where abuse is present, always leave!
2007-05-26 09:36:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If we believe in ourselves, we can make work anything. Relationships are tender issues. Discouragement comes from then inability of the other to act for the good of relationship.
A committed person would remain committed for relationship. He would never find excuses to blame the other or the relationship for failure.
he/she would ultimately succeed
2007-05-25 23:37:16 · answer #8 · answered by Goldman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All relationships need work all the time.One would think as we get older,it would get easy er.It doesn't.Unless you have cheating or beating going on,I would say keep working.We all have good days and bad ones.Try to be nice to your partner because if their Happy you'll be happy.Don't give up.
2007-05-26 00:43:24 · answer #9 · answered by Don M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you feel extremely exhausted and yet you still don't see the relationship going anywhere. When this happens, your mind just blocks the heartache and the questions. Naturally, your heart just gives up. That was what happened to me with one of my ex. It was easier to let go after that
2007-05-25 23:39:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋