Is this bad parenting?

Question

A couple of evenings ago I was in a DIY store and a saw a pretty little girl (she couldn't have been more than 3) on her own. I asked her where her mother was and she said she didn't know. She had no reservations in taking my hand and walking with me. Fortunately, I am not a weirdo - I took her to the info desk and not out the door (I spotted her halfway between the two - a 30 second walk in either direction). The mother eventually came up to the info desk - and proceeded to make an exchange. After she had concluded her business, she looked over and saw the little girl (still with me). I asked if the child was hers, and at first she said "No". Then she burst out laughing and said, "Yes", scolded the child for wandering off and told her to sit down on a bench. I went to leave and the child started to follow me out!

Note that the mother could not have seen the child from where she was. The little girl was on the other side of the tills near the exit door - lots of obstructions, not to mention that the store has several aisles, and the mother came back from the opposite side of the store. There was a minimum 10 minute gap between when I found the child and the mother appeared.

I took her to the Information Desk of the store. I could see a resemblence. It did not occur to me that a woman would falsely claim to be a child's mother in the middle of a store.

There is no way the mother could have seen the child until she got up to the front of the store. It appears she might have told the child to wait by the door until she finished her shopping. She came from the back of the store, laden down with stuff (she could have used a trolley - the store even has trolleys with seats for small children!). The child was just standing there when I found her - not wandering around. I suppose she thought that getting a trolley and putting it back in the bay at the end of her shopping expedition would have been too much of a hassle.

Answer 1

I am a parent. You did the right thing. Could it have been that the mother had the child in her sights the whole time? It is possible that you did not see that. However, I would not have allowed my child to wander off with a stranger if I had her in my sight. It is also possible that the mother does this all the time and that the child has just not been taken away yet. Children will never just sit in one place. Any parent should know this by three.

Quick answer: Yes. This is bad parenting. Good for you for watching out for the child and certainly for bringing this to discussion.

Answer 2

This is just another of those situations where if anything had happened to the child, the mother would have been in real trouble for letting her out of her sight. The child was not abducted so all is well....or is it?
The problem is that parents cannot watch their toddlers and older for 24/7 without taking their eyes off them for a few seconds or maybe more...it is impossible....so what do they do...tie them to themselves to stop them disappearing? What would people say then?. So kids often leave their parents sides in shops/supermarkets etc.......but rarely get kidnapped...when they do..who is to blame??????? The kidnapper....... who has probably targetted the child anyway as in the Maddy case in Portugal and once targetted they will disappear by stealth.
Not much one can say is there?
Best wishes, Mike.

Answer 3

so many parents of younger children today are so absorbed in their own life they have no concern for the welfare of the child in Australia it will get worse as the years go by, because our governement in their wisdom are paying any female $4000 to have a child, reuardless of their finacial means, so the low society, young girls, the misfits f society are having children to geta quick buck so they can go and party or buy drugs, the real women who want to have a family wouldn't be looking at this money , they would be thinking of the childs future, so in time you will find more children like this, you have a large number of young children who's lives are pure hell, from verbal abuse, or parents on drugs everyday or drunk, and then there is the ones like you mention cannot care a damn let somebody else look after my child while I am in a shop, or let a child play havoc, in the toy department, and all some of these children really want is somebody to love them

Answer 4

What the mother did was such a dumb thing. She just left her child wandering around,hmp.! How if the child went out of the store and so..the mother wont find out where her child is. Ofcourse its a bad parenting. She's so dumb to leave her OWN CHILD. I hate parents like that especially when their child is still so young.

Answer 5

All children below school age should be on reins. For their and your security. There are so many evil people out there I would not chance allowing my children to roam. It seems a funny old world. If I allow my dog to roam off a lead I can be punished. Yes I would consider this situation bad parenting.
Thank god...This child found you and not some pervert.

Answer 6

Sounds to me like it wasn't her mother either, poor little thing, yes i think it is bad parenting i know children have the tendancy to walk off but this is why you should never take your eyes off them at all hard sometimes i know but with so many poor children going missing you have to do it, i mean how hard is it to keep hold of your childs hand?

Answer 7

Sounds to me like the worst of British parents. After all, the McCanns say there are thousands out there. Poor little souls.

Answer 8

this surely is bad parenting, these are helpless little creatures in a very uncertain world, so why have children if you can't walk with them holding them by the hand or even being able to keep at least one eye on them. Disgraceful behaviour

Answer 9

Probably one of those people who support the Mccann's. Gerry did say that thousand of people told him that they leave their own kids unsupervised.
terrible.

Answer 10

yes