I am not happy in the marriage, It comes from alot of different things that have happen in are past, But we have only been married for a year and 8 months out of it has been us yelling at each other everyday and me just growing more and more away from him. But now he has started to grow up and he really wants things to work with us. Cause it was him that was wildin out when we first got married and before and I just took it. But now that he is ready to be a husband I dont want him. Am I wrong for that, My heart is just not into it.
2007-05-25 22:34:54 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
His actions might be "too little, too late". You need to have a heart to heart with him. Save the marriage, if you can.
2007-05-25 22:39:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
No in my opinion you are not wrong in that because a person can only take so much, then it is to late. It is sad that most of the time people just do not wake up and smell the roses until it is to late. As far as a easy way to tell him i don't think there is a easy way. I would sit him down and tell him that it is to late now to try and be a husband , tell him that you needed for that to happen along time ago. You could also tell him that your heart is not in to it anymore because it just faded away with all the fighting and his wildin out. Good luck! And i am sorry to hear what you are going through , i have been there and done that so if you need anyone to chat with you can email me at mama2sexy4u2000@yahoo.com.
2007-05-25 22:44:01 · answer #2 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If we all did that then no one would stay married long.What do you think when you hear people say it takes work to have a good marriage.You two are in the worse of it,but if you hung in and just put some afford into it ,it will be worth it.Don't you envy people that have been married for years and seam to be happy.I can assure you it didn't come easy.My husband and I just celebrated our 28 year Anniversary and let me tell you 10 years ago that man put me through hell but I hung in.
It would of been much easier to walk away but something made me stay.I'm so glad I did because I can say I 'm one of those people who have a good marriage.Sometimes our love gets buried so deep that we do think we have fallen out of love but we haven't we just need to remember the days when we first laid eyes on each other or the first time you make love and after wards the talks.Do you see what I'm saying.Don't give up just because you feel it won't work that's not a good enough reason to walk away from someone you married.
2007-05-25 23:07:18 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ask yourself why you got married in the first place? Remember those feelings?
A marriage isn't just a wedding. It takes work. There is always going to be adjustments to make. The first year is always growing pains. You are adjusting to each others living styles.
It is hard to make compromises but that is what marriage is all about. On both sides tho not just one sided.
If you feel like it is one sided then you need to have a sit down with him and no yelling. Just talking. If you find yourself getting heated or he is , take a deep breath and don't egg each other on.
A marriage is not about besting the other. it is about compassion, compromises, caring,cleaning,and chatting. The order is how you and he feel it should be.
2007-05-25 22:47:36 · answer #4 · answered by shadow_watt 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time, but don't give up on the both of you yet. Talk with him openly and honestly, telling him (without insulting him) your worries and fears, have a heart-to-heart discussion and decide on Golden Middle. Marriages are definitely not easy, if there is love and willingness to make it work, respect and understanding, then anything is possible.
As you say, he seems to want to take things more seriously now, so he'll have an open ear too. :)
Good luck!
2007-05-26 00:29:31 · answer #5 · answered by Drusillah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If there are no children then it does not matter much, but you need to think about what you are doing. It is a year later, he has a new girlfriend, are you happy or sad?
As to how to tell him, I think that the simplest way is to tell him in the morning after breakfast on a Saturday, so that there is the weekend for everyone to settle down before work. You should move out to a hotel for the Sunday, so he calms down.
But remember, you may not get anyone better!
2007-05-25 22:43:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give yourself time and think on what it was that made you fall in love with him!
Then take a few hours a week just for yourself do nothing but breath and enjoy the moment !
After all that think is this the life I really want you will be surprised at your answer!
Take you time and don't hurry it!
I've been married 36 years and if I jumped ship every time my husband was a prick I would defiantly missed out on the finer things in life! Like a friend, children, NOW GRANDCHILDREN! and all the good stuff in between!
2007-05-25 22:42:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You loved him enough to marry him and if I am not mistaken there were some vows that you took.
I am sure that they did not say for better or worse or until I don't want to deal with you anymore even though you are now growing up and ready to have an adult relationship.
Kind of sounds like you need to grow up and take some responsibility as he has. Maybe it took some time for him to get there but now he has stepped up to the plate. Be a wife and step up there with him and work it out.
Look back at those pictures of you wedding that have not even had enough time to gather dust and see the love in your eyes for him and his for you.
Find that love again. It was once there and can be again.
Or did you just want to be little miss fixit? Now that he is "fixed" you want to move on to the next case?
2007-05-26 00:29:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
hi new wife well your basic problem is that u dont want to continue this relationship. So the best way is to first think abt your future in economical, social and other aspects. Then simply concult a lawyer about your case and send a divorce notice to your husband and just tell him quitely that i want divorce as i know our relationship has nothing left. Look Divorce is not easy so just forget the easy way and just be prepare for some decision.
2007-05-25 22:59:10 · answer #9 · answered by Gaurav Singh 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your "heart is not into it", the marriage seems wrong for you. Have you tried counseling? Could the two of you talk and make a pact about the screaming? Bad habits like that are not impossible to break.
As Ann Landers said so often, "Would you be better off WITH him or WITHOUT him. Only you have the answer.
Take care...
2007-05-25 22:43:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should always try to rekindle what you guys had before calling it quits. Give him a chance to make up for it, and have you fall in love with him again. If you still don't like him anymore after that then get a divorce, people really shouldn't be getting married unless there really sure that this is the person for them.
2007-05-25 22:41:17 · answer #11 · answered by BluzGirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋