this man and i have been together 10 yrs r better ,we have a 8 yr old and i have a 14 yr old living with us.he is a trucker,when he works he comes in like a wild man .hes very physical n mentally abusive .he is also starting to be mean to the kids,and hes not a good dad at all.he has me in such debt i see no way out i risk loosin my house i got when my mom passed. i have no family ,no money im on ssi for asthma the money i get want even pay utilities,its almost like he has planned all of it for me to loose my home he is a misery loves company person and it has takin me a long time to figure that out,ive just always tried to keep my family together but its got to fit together before i can keep it together and he is just ready to say ---- me .is there any where i can go ,talk to some one about my house and him helping me with all the debts we have ran up.im in greenville sc .please somebody help me before i really loose it.does s c recognize common law?
2007-05-25 21:59:56 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Kick him out. Get a court order, which you can do for free in your income situation. Also get a restraining order to keep him away from you. Stop entangling your finances with his. You have a responsibility to your children and do not have the right to risk losing their home. You will be able to get state aid for your children.
The longer you wait, the worse it will be to get out. Call social services and the Salvation Army. If you don't know about an abused women's help center, call the police and they can put you in touch with them. If you really care about your kids and yourself and the future of your kids, you will take action immediately.
Email me if I can help you further. Please take action now.
P.S. You should not risk your home to pay other bills. You can always declare bankruptcy in a situation such as yours. Focus of paying your mortgage if you have one, and your utilities. You can get food stamps for food.
2007-05-25 22:22:13 · answer #1 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, try to get your name off any debts you can. Find a job and a car. Next time he comes into town have a restraining order in place. I'm assuming there is a record of his physical abuse on file with the police. If there isn't next time he gets abusive, have the kids call 911. then get your restraining order. Discontinue all conversation with him. Go to Social Services and look into assistance with groceries. File for child support. You don't need a lawyer. Go to Family court and fill out the paperwork honestly, turn it in, ask for a copy and be there for your court date. Think about renting out a room in the house to a college kid or something. Screen carefully.
2007-05-26 00:00:09 · answer #2 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in the middle of a bad situation, you need outside help - the salvation army will help you and they have all the support and contacts to make sure you and your kids will not go hungry or unsheltered until you are back on your feet. They will help you every step of the way. Give them a call. Good Luck. No father figure is better than an abusive one that makes you have no self confidence, I should no my mother is one that didnt leave. Email me if you want someone to chat to.
Best wishes
Carrie
2007-05-25 22:06:02 · answer #3 · answered by Carrie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think about your kids, they don´t deserve the life they´re living. Make them feel safe and happy.
When I was a child my parents separated and it was the best thing ever happened in my and my sister´s life. At first it was hard for my mother because she still loved him and we went through some hard times after it because he didn´t give us any money and my mother had to start working but.... we three have had a very nice life together, and now we don´t remember those moments any more. Remember that your kids what really need is having a mother. And what you really need is having your kids, husbans after all can come and go.... and you only have one life!! Be proud of it!!
I wish you Good Luck!!
2007-05-25 22:20:15 · answer #4 · answered by usbc s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The reality is that you may have to sacrifice the house to clear your other debts and be clear of this man. And if he's abusive you must get clear. And make sure you take the kids with you. Common law or not, he's still the father of your child and will most likely have to pay child support. I might be really tight, but the alternative is to remain miserable.
2007-05-25 22:19:44 · answer #5 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably won't like the answer you'll get from me but my advice is to do whatever you have to do to get out of this relationship.
First, get a job that pays enough for you to support your family. You'll never get custody of your children and keep your family together if you're not willing to fight for them. Asthma or not, you need to start making your own money from a valid job.
Second, you need to get out of your situation. Is your house really worth getting mentally and physically abused constantly? What are you teaching your children?--they're watching you get abused and act like it's ok. Things might be miserable for you and your children while you attempt to get away from this guy and rebuild your life but they'll respect you later for your strength and for your determination to build yourself and them a better life.
I would recommend that you take yourself and your children to a battered women's shelter a few counties away (so he can't find you as easily) from where you live now and ask them to assist you in your financial and emotional problems. Or go to your local church and ask them for help.
Be strong and take control of your own future!
2007-05-25 22:14:21 · answer #6 · answered by Sara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a lawyer and ask about filing bankruptcy and putting your house up for sale. It is better to get something out of it, rather than just loose it. He can also advise you on your local laws. Look for one that does Pro-bono work(no fee). Go to a lawyer referal site or put pro-bono lawyers in SC in google to get one. You can get all your answers from a lawyer. Good luck.
2007-05-25 22:33:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm in this now. go to your family . I had to . swallow your pride. you need help. or you will be unhappy for ever.
2007-05-25 22:05:23 · answer #8 · answered by mariefiorea 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋