my 15 year old son and I cannot talk anymore. He uses profanity and tells me he hates me?

Answer 1

At this point, there isn't much you can do but back off and wait for his heart to come back to your own. I'm so sorry. You can put more restrictions on him, which you should, but I doubt it will actually change his attitude. However, there must be consequences for unacceptable behavior. Just don't say no to things just for the sake of saying no. Make sure he has his fair share of chores, restrict or ban things that are actually having a negative impact on him and let him do the things he would like to do as long as his household work and schoolwork are done. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People speaks frequently of relationships and would be a good read for you.

Best wishes.

Answer 2

hi

i disagree with those who say it's too late to do anything now. It's never, ever too late - people learn and change their entire lives.

It probably isn't your fault or something you've done that makes him disrespect you. He experiences that attitude every day at school, witnesses it from his friends toward their teachers, friends and family. And, if by any chance you have a male figure in his life that doesn't respect you, then he's just doing what he sees.

I think Your son is crying out for you to give him some strong direction. I've raised five teens and everytime one of them acted the way you describe your son, it was because they were into something they felt guilty about (sex, drugs, etc) so they couldn't just be normal with me - they had to get pissed off at me to justify their behavior. "Mom's a b...., so i'll just do what I want - she don't care."

"He is saying, Mom i'm screwing up, don't know what to do and i just can't tell you. please figure this out for me." Right now, at 15, he's looking for a strong parent who loves him but won't put up with his bull.

The counseling thing might work, but personally, I've never known of such. Teens I know who go to counseling hate it and love to brag to each other how they conned the therapist and tell them what they want to hear.

Set rules, then stick with them. STICK WITH THEM and when he screws up, follow through. Don't tolerate being treated like one of his friends.

Then, when none of his friends or other family is around pick up a deck of cards - play solitare and after a while ask if he'd play poker with you cause you want to practice betting. He'll act like he hates the idea, but he will probaly play and if YOU don't start with any questions - just enjoy him and the game, stop for a snack, etc. and let him be him. You'll probably find he really has a lot to say, he's just not good at saying it.

good luck.

katy

Answer 3

I was exactly the same at that age. It was not that I didn't respect or love my parents either.......I did, but I just felt like I hated them because they continued to be firm and not let me get away with bad behaviour.

Still, I was a terrible teenager and put them through hell. Whatever you do, don't suck up to try and be his friend, you are the parent and have every right to set boundaries and to make sure he is safe.

I am 33 now and lead a happy life. I love my parents deeply and hate the pain I put them through as a teenager. I put my drug and alcohol fuelled wild surly teenage years down to hormones!

PS - mine lasted from about 15 to 18 years old

Answer 4

He's a teenager. If you failed to teach him respect before now, kind of late. Every teenager goes through the rite of becoming independent. Some go through it hard while others sail right through it. He may have something really bothering him that is serious for himtoo. Find someone he will talk to to ease your mind. My 16 year old boy has his moments when he was the immaculate conception. He just was. Every teen goes through it. Hang in there. Let him know you are there when he needs you.

Answer 5

If this is a sudden change for him, I suspect that he is very angry about something that relates to you. Ask him to talk to you about this and try to listen. He may be completely wrong about why he's angry but explaining your reasons for things may be helpful.

You need to continue to be his parent and not his friend but tell him that if he is angry about something that you are open to hearing about it and that if compromises are possible that you will consider them.

If this is not a sudden change in his behavior then you might consider family counseling. This should not be just accepted as a phase that he is going through.

Answer 6

This is a problem that started long ago. He is not showing respect for you and thats a problem. He needs to learn respect for you and maybe (dunno all the facts) you need to show some to him. He will grow up eventually and realize this bahavior is wrong. Hopefully it won't happen after the bond you two share is shattered. Call a professional and get the both of you help and repair your bond with your son.

Answer 7

Being an ado, I can tell you that every adolescent goes through it. I even did.Its just that its a hard phase in life.When everything get mest up in your mind. I was always quarreling with my mum for simple things but when you accept life as it is all your problems will be solve. Now, mum and i are good friends. I tell her everythings and she is like my confident, my sister and my mother. You just have to keep in touch with your son. Tell him that you are here for him that acting like this will not help him and that he needs a confident and that you are that confident.

Answer 8

I think he is telling you he hates you because for some reason he may feel neglected...sit down with him.. tell him how much you love him.. tell him you are sorry for whatever mistakes you may have done but you are just raising him the best you know how.... Don't ever give up.. Spare the rod spoil the child...

Answer 9

That's just teenage rebellion. He's going through puberty so naturally he's going to act like he hates you and say things that he will regret later on in life. It's nothing against you it's just hormones.

Answer 10

wow. what an ********. you should be more assertive and not let him talk to you like that. hes only doing it because he can get away with it. i would never talk to my dad like that. im too scared to think of what would happen next. lol.