Ok so i want another baby, mu hubby says no way it isn't gonna happen and to see that it doesn't happen he made an appointment to have a vasectomy:( We don't have a lot of money mostly cause he has no desire to hold down a job and we are considered poor according to society. I only want to conceive a child through love which is the only way really, and i don't want my hubby to feel pressured or forced into a decision. He's 42yrs old and i'm 31yrs old and i just figure if we wait 5yrs like he wants he won't want more kids cause he'll be planning retirement. I also know that there are risks involved in any pregnancy and even more so once you pass age 35. My clock is ticking so what can i do if anything to make him see things my way? I supported everything he did thus far especially the things that made him happy so if this is something that would make me happy shouldn't he support me? I'm not saying i want 5 more kids just 1!
2007-05-25 18:48:29 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
colleen if he were the breadwinner he would bring money home which he doesn't, I DO, furthermore we are considered poor by societies standards not by our own!!!
2007-05-25 18:58:25 · update #1
I divorced my husband because of this problem. I'm now pregnant with my second child and with a man that I love very much and is happy to have a baby with me.
2007-05-25 18:58:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
sweety I am not been mean when I say this let the man do what he must
ask yourself how long will you want to live with a man that refuse to hold a job/ this child will make you happy but what about the child I don't how many you have already
and I understand how much you want one more
I have 3 and we are tryng for more (1)
so I understand but the fact is this man only seems to think about his needs (I deduct this when you say that he refuses to hold a job) a man like that should not be having children
I think you two should talk and discuss the matter some more before he has this operation and maybe you can compromise and wait at least 2 more years instead of the 5 he proposed
Goodluck , Take care
2007-05-26 02:43:57 · answer #2 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have another child when he doesn't want one he may come to resent you. If you don't get to conceive before you feel your time is up: you'll resent him. This calls for some couples' counselling. If you consult with his doctor before the vasectomy you can clear the air and said doctor may help you both come to a better decision. Your husband will probably be wary under that situation to hear any facts of the surgery and possibly open to any suggestion that prevents unnecessary pain, in other words, the surgery. But I think it is callous of him to threaten you with medical procedure when you obviously just want the possibility/probability of future children with him. Open communication is your best bet and if he isn't up for a nice long talk...then let him have his little surgery, but only a partial one. That cuts down on the possibility of conception (he's happy) but doesn't rule it out completely for the future (you can be happy.)
2007-05-26 02:00:16 · answer #3 · answered by I vote Capt. America 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are not listening to your husband, or perhaps he is not being clear with you. If he's 42, doesn't want to work, says both that he wants to wait five years and also says that he's made an appointment to get a vasectomy, that is a man who DOES NOT WANT MORE CHILDREN. I would strongly urge you to seek counseling, maybe with your minister if you have one. You may have to decide either to be happy with the husband and children you have now, or get a divorce. I think that your current children deserve two parents, so I really think you should get counseling. (Oh, your name is "wish me dead 666? Maybe you should get a non-minister counselor then. The local health services clinic or college should be able to tell you how to get low-cost counseling. It's a shame, though, because ministers are often free.) (And looking at your other questions, why would you want another child with this man anyway? He drinks and he doesn't treat you well. Another child won't love you enough to make up for that.)
2007-05-26 01:59:38 · answer #4 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He doesn't want anymore children. As the "breadwinner" of the family he has the right to not WANT to bring another child into the family that you admit is considered "poor". He obviously isn not all that responsible if he won't hold down a job and doesn't want to be responsible for another mouth to feed.
2007-05-26 01:56:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋
It's odd to me when people want kids that they can't afford.
Anyway, I agree with the first person.
2007-05-26 01:58:54 · answer #6 · answered by DeAnna 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are not listening..... neither is he. Sit down and talk this out and come to an agreement, FAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-05-26 01:52:10 · answer #7 · answered by Kimberlee Ann 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you cant just change his mind. but you can **** him. **** the **** out of him. no man wants to wear a condom.
2007-05-26 01:53:36 · answer #8 · answered by crowbarkarbin 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋