Okay, so this is my first love I am speaking about. I still love him and get jittery when he is around (not very often) I am married now with two kids and I truely love my husband. In saying that I have all these questions that I want answers to because the break up happened without warning. I have no thoughts of jeopardizing my marriage or his so how do I get this questions answered without it being suspicious? It has been 10 years i am afraid they will not get off my mind if I don't get answered.
2007-05-25 17:05:18 · 9 answers · asked by Shaney 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You both shared a romantic encounter. You will always have jitters over your first love, but it is good that you know not to act on them. Part of the reason that you act jittery is because you probably have changed and so has he and you are wondering if there is a chance that he still finds you attractive.
2007-05-25 17:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought of asking him why the breakup happened?
If you still have contact with him, you could just ask... and that might be enough to give you the answers you need to move on. However, be aware that this could be a slippery slope, because once you initiate contact with him, it could open doors that are better left closed. The grass is always greener from the other side of the fence, and what looks beautiful from afar can be marred and damaged up close.
When you say you have "questions: you need answers to, I think what you really have are unresolved feelings due to the way the breakup happened.
Either let it go, or get the closure to this situation by talking to the guy. Good luck.
2007-05-26 00:27:21 · answer #2 · answered by theissuequeen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im only 15 && have not ben through this but i will try to give you the best advise i can. you are probably having thoughts about your first love because he was most likely the person that you shared many of your firsts with and most of your memories have him in it. my advise is maybe do some of the things that you did with him that you really had fun with and enjoyed and maybe try doing this again with your husband. NO KIDS THO!!! haha (they can make a memory a nightmare) so take some vacations and do some things that you did with your boyfriend and do them with your husband. && make sure that you have a lot of fun and it is full of passion and love and you both can get away from the kids and the work life have time to think and remember why you two got married.
--- i wish you the best of luck!
2007-05-26 00:15:50 · answer #3 · answered by "B"lover 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Shaney,
I must say that it sounds like maybe you went into your new relationship tryin to get over your past. Sure you may tell yourself that you're happy, but the truth is happy people don't dwell on neg. things when the going is good! Could you be still holding on to the "what if" GET OVER IT!! when people walk out of your life to never return..... then it was not meant to be in the first place. Have you ever heard of the old adage " People come into your life for a reason and in due season" Most people are not meant to stay but to only teach us a lesson, and weather we want to believe it or not that 1 lesson is a tool for what's to come our way somewhere later in life, but yet the one we try to hang on too is usually the one that was supposed to teach that 1 lesson is the one WE TRY TO HANG ON TOOOO! Learn to let go--- and stop holding on to the past you are in the now, we can't go back and change things so why waste life, time, energy, in tryin to capture something that is no more( even if he came back it would never be the same) so let it go. You have a new life with a new partner, don't allow your day dreaming to miss out on what you have in front of you, from tring to catch something that is so far behind you. Wish you and your family theBEST!!!!!!
2007-05-26 00:29:23 · answer #4 · answered by cher777 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U need to live and let go of old feelings because once u dig into the past that hole is only going to get deeper and u do not want to ruin ur marriage for a situation that could have been avoided.
2007-05-26 00:12:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you still love this man and love your husband? If that was the case, you should had explored your hearts questions before marrying your husband.
You should leave the past in the past. As the old saying goes "curiosity kills."
2007-05-26 00:09:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a tough one. Remind yourself how you felt when HE DID YOU WRONG--and you don't need that again. Is your husband loyal and loving and reliable? Unlike your first love, right?
There will always be the odd butterfly in your stomach, that's a fact of life. Just remember when the butterfly was a worm.
2007-05-26 00:18:29 · answer #7 · answered by doovinator 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth do you continue to live in the past, when you have such a wonderful present???
2007-05-26 00:11:07 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just forget about him and all the situation surrounding him.
2007-05-26 00:10:35 · answer #9 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋