Is it normal that I am feeling no feelings of sadness at all? He was verbally and emotionally abusive. All I feel is relief that I am away. Should I expect to feel bad about this at any time coming up?
2007-05-25 16:45:38 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why would you feel bad about this? That he's not around to talk smack to you, make you feel worthless, degrade you?
Sweets, lemme tell you, you are perfectly fine feeling the way you do. :) You should feel relieved, you should feel FREE, you should let your hair down, go get a fantastic massage and manicure(if that's your thing), and take yourself out to dinner that night!! YOU ARE WORTH IT!!
I danced and sang all the way home from court on my day. :) Seriously! And praised God all the while! You couldn't wipe the smile off my face even if you tried! :D
Enjoy your day in court, and thank the judge wholeheartedly---that's what I did too......actually I blessed him and gave him a hug! :)
2007-05-25 17:07:17 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I felt the same when when I left my husband three years ago. I felt no sadness at all, just relief. I didn't miss him a bit. Like you, I worried that there was something the matter with me because of this, but my therapist helped me realize that the marriage had been dead a long time and that I'd grieved long before I ever left. I bet you felt a lot of sadness BEFORE you decided to leave your husband, too, right? You're simply over that part.
Now, after I filed, and during the divorce, I did have many strong feelings. Anger mostly, in fact the most pure rage I have ever felt in my life. All the feelings I had to keep suppressed to survive in the marriage came out. But sadness . . . no.
By the way, as hard as it was, my divorce was a good thing not only for me but for my two children. I remarried last year and life is great. There is life after divorce, so hang in there and hold your head up.
2007-05-26 08:18:23 · answer #2 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly normal to feel no sadness at all specially since you mention it was a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship.
The only suggestion that i would like to give you from my own personal experience is that please do resolve this relationship in your mind once and for all since that does not happen so easily to most of us even after the legal processes are long over.
Start your life afresh.The whole world is yours....for the taking.
2007-05-25 23:51:42 · answer #3 · answered by saurabhpriya04 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might feel waves of sadness because you were actually married to the guy, but that's only because there might have been actual good times to reminisce over, but since he turned out to be abusive, you have a right to celebrate that you're getting away from him. That's horrible that those guys start out nice and then change and make you feel so debilitated. Good for you - keep walking with your head up, and if you ever do think twice about why you got your divorce, just remember that there were good times, but he was just definitely not the one for you.
2007-05-25 23:51:11 · answer #4 · answered by HappilyEverAfter 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing if you are feeling this way. Down the road you will probably remember some good times and feel regret. Life is full of good times and bad times. If your relationship has come to this end and that's your decision, O.K. But, remember, once this procedure is started things may not ever be repairable. Is this what you want to do? If you feel no hope for this relationship this is the right decision.
2007-05-26 00:02:00 · answer #5 · answered by LoneWolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You will start to re-think the divorce. And will forget the bad stuff over time... You have to remind your self what he did to you and when he calls begging you and swearing he will change you have to stay strong. Men that verbally and emotionally abuse a woman knows her weakness. Surround your self with family and friends. You might start feeling guilty and want him back. Right now your mad and hurt and your going to show him, but as the days pass you might start to miss him and get lonely. Don't give into that. You deserve a man that will treat you with love and respect. And if by chance you see him with another girl you might become jealous and re-think everything. But remember your out of the bad relationship and she can have him along with the abuse. Remember the things he said and did and know your free of that... Good luck..
2007-05-26 00:01:29 · answer #6 · answered by Flying w/ scissors 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are freeing yourself of an unhealthy situation... you shouldn't feel sad. It takes a lot of strength and courage to do what you are doing... there are a lot of women out there who are still in a situation that they need to free themselves of. I don't think that you will have any sadness to look forward to right now or later on... relief is the only feeling that you have room for and that is a good thing. I'm so happy for you... you go girl:-)!!!!
2007-05-25 23:58:57 · answer #7 · answered by Candy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes unfortunately so. I, too, am recently divorced. Things weren't going well...he cheated...long story. Anyway, I felt the same way in the beginning. It will hit you at strange times. I'm not even sure it's him that you'll miss. You'll miss the idea of him. You'll miss the idea of being married and having someone "on your team". Then things will happen and make you happy you're not with him anymore. It comes in cycles. You'll definitely have more happy times once things start moving forward. The process does, however, suck! Good luck with everything. And let your friends and family be there for you. Don't keep it in, let it out.
2007-05-25 23:59:28 · answer #8 · answered by Molly M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am only 15 && i have not experienced this but omg. if he is at all abusive hunny you need to get away from him. your only gonna live once, so make it a live full of peace, love && happiness, not one where your dreading to go home. dont have any second thoughts about this divorce... it sounds like the right thing to do. nobody deserves to be abused. if i was in a relationship like that && knew that in a week it would finally be over i think i would be feeling joy so dont worry that you have no feelings of regret of sadness. dont be sad, be happy... you are going to be free && are lucky you get a chance to start over.
--- i wish you the best of luck && hope that you dont have any sad thoughts.
2007-05-25 23:52:06 · answer #9 · answered by "B"lover 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone feels different things in different situations but in this case what you are feeling is not only the relief but the upcoming safety and protection from abuse that will come while you are away from this man.
It is possible that one day you may feel sad that the relationship ended but only that it was not the relationship that you thought it was and he was not the man that you thought he was.
That will be what you grieve......the reality that he is not the man you thought you fell in love with and that dream with him is gone.
2007-05-25 23:50:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋