How do I confront him, when you found out he's lying?

Question

I have a live in boyfriend for over 2 years.I saw some emails from another woman 2 weeks ago that he had been flirting with for some time. They emailed each other back n forth for 2 months. i know nothing happened because he was in texas for work and she lived in cali. He had been home for 2 weeks when I found the emails. I confronted him and he said it was nothing. I strongly believe had I not said anything it probably would continue and some how they would arrange to met up. I know they havent emailed each other but today I used his cell phone and saw text messages from an ex-girlfriend.
I asked 2 weeks ago to respect our relationship. I ended ties with old male friends because I dont think that men and women can be friends without some sort of attraction.
I ask him randomly who has been emailing him or texting him and he says no one.

But indeed its an ex girlfriend that says she cant stop picturing them F***ing.

Problem is... I have a 6 yr old and my son and he adores him. He is good to us, all in all. He works, provides for us, we are practically married and he is good with my son.

Answer 1

Plain and simple, you are in a tricky situation.
And with apologies to KRYS'S opinion, yes there are honest men out there.
Unfotunately, this man does not appear to be one of them.
You say that the two of you are practically married. Is that your opinion or both of your opinions?
From what you are telling us, I don't believe that he shares that view point.
A serious relationship begins and ends with respect for the other person. And a large part of respect in a relationship involves being faithful. At the very least, if he truly loves you, he would not want to do anything that would cause you to qustion his committment to you.
Even if there is nothing going on, he would abstain from any actions that would lead you to belive there was.
And you have to get past the part of where he is good for your son and takes care of you.
If you alllow this behavior to continue and you justify it by saying he is "good to us", what you are literally saying is that taking care of us is more important than him being a good moral person.
Is that a life lesson that you want your son to learn?
I know these are harsh sounding words, but you do have to make a decision about the moral climate you and your son are going to live in.
I can guess that you might be economically dependent on this man as well.
But isn't your self respect worth more then dollars?

Answer 2

Well your BF has an eye for his ex and the chick from Cali ( unless they are the same person). He doesn't respect your relationship with him if he is flirting with his ex and a women on the net. I say you confront him and ask when why he is doing this ?? Tell him it can't mean nothing to him or he wouldn't be doing it !!!!!

I suggest you move out and find a place of your own or move in with a friend or parents again until you can get on your feet. If he is hiding things and lying now, think of how much messier it could be if you married a jackass like this .
Be glad you found out about it now. Break up with him..your heart is gonna ache either way.
If you need to chat feel free to contact me.

Answer 3

I don't see anything wrong with him watching porn. Men love porn and so do a lot of women though they are less likely to admit it. But him lying about watching it isn't cool. You're right to confront him about the lies, lies are disrespectful no matter how anyone justifies them. He'll lie about it because he knows him watching it hurts your feelings and he's trying to protect you but satisfy his own needs at the same time. Why does it hurt your feelings? That's what you need to address. You're responsible for your own feelings. x

Answer 4

He cannot be trusted, regardless if he has been good to your little boy. And that's no reason to stay in a relationship when you have proof that he has been e-mailing and text messaging girlfriend and ex-gf. Just the fact that he and the woman from California e-mailed back and forth for 2 months should tell you a lot about how trustworthy he is and how committed he is to his relationship with you. My advice is to get out now. Let him go. If he can do that behind your back, he'll do it to other women too.

Answer 5

First of all you're living with him which is good - thank god you're not married to the jerk. Men lie, lie, lie.........classic replies are "It means nothing" or "It's not what it looks like".

Once a cheat always a cheat. If he's emailing chicks and they're writing back that they can't stop picturing them "f***ing" then you've got a legitimate complaint. He's leading on this girl.

Stop analyzing him - figure out if you really want to get the heck out of that relationship or give him more rope to hang himself. He's got it made with you living there - why did you decide to live with him?

Don't ever let no man get the milk for free - he'll never want to buy the cow!

Answer 6

Any confrontation will start an argument, there is no way around it.

About what to say to him, Just put it blutly, no anger or spite in you voice. Just tell him it either stops or he's gone and you will move on. Then walk away and let him think about his actions. Don't get drawn in to an argument, just let it be what ever he dicides. If he want's you he will stop his conversations with other women or he will leave which is better for you. It may hurt, but you deserve a man that will love and RESPECT you. Don't ever settle for less.

Men arn't perfect, we will make mistakes, but these two things should never be compromised.

Answer 7

Do you really want to keep living with someone you can't trust? If his conscience doesn't bother him by emailing or text messaging another woman, then what's to stop him from taking the next step, and you know what that is. You need to decide if he is worth the stress he is causing you. You are most likely going to end up getting hurt. Think this one over carefully. Good luck

Answer 8

I am so sorry to here about that. I know how you feel. You need to kick him out or leave him. If you don't he will keep on lying and cheating and you will be miserable. Don't put yourself through all that. He is not worth it. He is a worthless human being. And don't think that he will change because he won't. I know how hard it is get out of a long relationship but you need to get out as soon as possible so you can move on with your life. You won't be able to live a happy, productive life if you have to constantly worry about your guy being unfaithful. I know because I've been through it. And I wish I would have gotten out sooner than I did. Good luck, I hope everything turns out well for you.

Answer 9

I know this is gonna really be hard on you... but you gotta face it... your relationship isnt doing too good.. might be coming to an end.. i say confront him and tell him that you know he's lyin and tell him that if he cant respect your relationship then you dont want the relationship anymore.. see how he reacts... he might stop if he thinks your relationship is in danger.. if he doesnt than i say leave him... you can do better than that every woman deserves a loyal guy. Good Luck =)

Answer 10

I would personally call the number that is texting or calling him and find out whats going on. My personal experience led me to find out all kinds of things that I would never have believed from anyone else,,but go directly to the source. Most women are honest. Do u know any men that are??? SERIOUSLY?